Tim

My son, who is 13 and a half years old says..."She is pretty much like a normal mom unless she gets in her grouchy mood then I just avoid her as much as possible. And when she is in her down stage then I just try to cheer her up. And besides that she is a normal parent."

Rachael

My daughter, who is 9 years old says... "I feel nothing. It's like a normal mom, because every mom gets mad, crabby, happy and sad."

Shannon

My sister, who is 28 years old says..."When my sister first told me she was diagnosed with bipolar manic-depression, I thought 'That's only for crazy people and my sister's not crazy!' Yeah, we all have our mood swings I thought, people get really happy somedays, and other days they feel preety much down. I just didn't know that she had such extremem feelings. Since finding out about her illness, I've been able to read up on it. I'm learning both through books, computer and my sister. I feel that we've gotten alot closer in the past year through this illness. That has made me happy. I know that she'll have good days and bad days, but knowing more about the illness has really helped me to get to know her more. My only wish is that we lived closer together. Maybe someday that will happen. Until then I will always love her and be there for her."

My Mother

I have had many emotional responses to my daughters Bipolar problems. The first real indication of strong friction between us goes back several years. We were celebrating Christmas in our home. All of the family was there. I know I hadn't handled everything perfectly, but Holly's reactions seemed so over blown to me. Of course I couldn't reconcile it in my own mind when she left us, angry and hostile. I was confused, disappointed, hurt and felt many other emotions that were frustrating to me. My family tried to console me but they couldn't. I just knew my daughter was hurting and there wasn't anything I could do about it. If I tried, I only made things worse.

After Holly and Rick were married, I wanted to send a book to encourage them in their new relationship. It only made Holly very angry and she wanted to break ties with us unless I changed my attitude. I had never been so hurt in all my life. I felt like a knife was piercing my heart everytime I thought of her. At first it was about how she thought about me and our relationship, but then I was able to work that out. For many more months I still ached and hurt with the knowledge that she was in distress and didn't want anything to do with us. If I could have done anything at all to help her. I would, but she wasn't talking to me. I tried to keep contact to reassure her of my love, but I didn't feel like it was getting anywhere.

During this time I was also missing Tim and Rachael, and not being able to get to know Rick. I felt denied of the whole family with no recourse. It seemed that my faith in God was one reason of the reasons she was so angry with me,and yet that was the only comfort I had was prayer. There was no one else who understood the pain I was having for Holly, wanting her to be better, but not knowing what she needed. I think I felt like most mothers would feel, so very helpless, so very hurt, so very confused, so frustrated.

When Holly called me several months later and reconciled with me personally, it was a great relief that we could again build our relationship. However she wasn't able to do the same with her father at that time, so I was put in the percarious position between them.

One incident was her invitation for me to visit and attend Rachael's ballet recital. I had planned to go, even though her father was not invited, but it hurt me very much to go without him. As it ended up,there was misunderstandings and I didn't go anyway. I was very disappointed as it was already 11 months since we had seen them.

It is sooooo much fun when we are finally all together again, two years later.I do hope and pray that Holly will be able to move forward with her treatment and that she will accept my support. Even now I feel like I am walking on eggshells some times because I don't want to do or say anything that will cause her anymore pain. I love her so much and only want her well.

Simba

Simba is my 3 year old orange tabby cat. Since he can't speak or write his thoughts I feel I can expose what he feels for him. He knows when I'm crabby, cause he also avoids me. When I'm depressed he jumps into my lap and starts to purr,but for only a little while, until HE'S had enough. He rubs on my legs alot and wants ALOT of attention, which I don't feel like doing most days lately. So, he gives me these sad eyes and sighs and just goes to sleep. Wakes up, same story, I know he misses me, because I taught him how to fetch thin plastic braclets and bring them back. I have not done that with him in a LONG time. My sadness makes him sad, His sadness makes me sad.He doesn't get tuna treats anymore.

Misty

Misty is our 2 year old gray tabby "independant" cat.She doesn't pick up on any ones emotions and she doesn't care. She thinks she owns the house and mostly sleeps with Rachael.She doesn't like it when she is petted. All she wants is her food, water and a place to sleep. My bipolar has no baring on her life. She could care less. She just tolerates us all...

My Father

My dad didn't want to write anything. I can understand. Whether it is just him or just because he is a man. He may not know what to write or where to begin. He always did hold in his emotions. I am not surprised...I do understand.

Rick, My Husband

So, my wife wants me to tell everybody what its like to live with somebody with bipolar. What a loaded question. It's up, down, sideways, happy, sad, frustrating and basically a never ending roller coaster ride. Sometimes I forget that you can't reason with bipolar and try to convince Holly not to act the way bipolar makes her act,cause it doesn't work. Sometimes the mania is great. No housework, cooking, or anything like that {joking}. Realistically, the mania is only great for her because of how it makes her feel. It actually makes me worry because she stays up all night doing things like working on this webpage-nothing wrong with the webpage-but really bad for her health.

Depression is another thing. That's when everything stops for her, increasing worry and stress even more. Putting all these things together gives you the ride I mentioned earlier. I know our kids don't understand, which means I sometimes have to referee between her and them when the bipolar makes Holly explode.

O.K., enough of the bad stuff. The fact is, I know who Holly is. She's caring, loving, sweet and would give us anything if she could.There are times that the ride comes to a stop and MY Holly is there. The main thing to remember for us and anyone in this situation is that the person and the bipolar ARE DIFFERENT.

One last thing for any significant other or someone who has bipolar. If you love him/her, get counseling for yourself, even if it's just a support group and NEVER GIVE UP. I believe there really is a light at the end of the tunnel.

David

My brother had agreed to share his thoughts but he is having a hard time. He is 13 years younger than I. I left the house when he was only 5 years old. My bipolar has not alot of bearing on his life. As I don't see him that often. The only time it has affected him is at the holidays, where I would blow up and leave early, very angry.The whole family was there then.I believe it is hard for him to write anything, so I will write this for him. If he ever does write to me about how he feels, I will replace this with his words.