9/23/06
Review of Music Players: I recently purchased a few music players, and today, I have decided to review them. The four I am comparing are the Sandisk Sansa 2GB (also available in 4gb, 6gb, and 8gb), Apple iPod Mini 4th gen (green), Apple iPod nano V.2 (blue), and a flute I bought in the pyramids of Mexico.

Concerning scrachtes: The last iPod I owned - the original iPod nano (white) - was what I like to call 'scratchapalooza'. It would scratch if you rubbed gently with your shirt. It would scratch if you put it in your pocket. It would scratch if you looked at it funny or blew cool air on it. However, with the new nano - which was released on the 12th of September - you would be hard pressed to find any cosmetic scratches on that mother fuggah. I've put it in my pocket, I've rubbed it with my shirt, I dogged it for three hours, and nothing - even under direct extreme inspection under a light bulb. The Sansa - the supposed "nano killer" - didnt scratch as much, but it made up for it in fingerprint show-age. The mini, which I included because I found it lying around my house, was the original aluminum-bodied, thicker-than-your mother's-fingers, robust iPod. It never scratched. The Mexican flute came scratched - and as I have the sneaking suspiscion it was made out of doo doo - I have never put it near my clothes. But I have played it with my mouth.

Concerning Capacity and functions: Apple boasts that the nano's gorgeous almunimum body is complimented by the fact that you get twice the capacity for your money. The 4gb (1,000 songs) nano sells for $199.99 errwhere. The Sansa, while only 2 gigs (500 songs), was a lot cheaper than the nano when it was released. When I originally purchased it, it only cost $160 - when at the same time, the 2gb nano cost $200. However, the Sansa has several more features than anything ever released by Apple. The sansa (which I'm trying to give away) sports FM radio, Video player functions, FM/Voice recorder, photo storage, and a slot for expandable sandisk memory on the side. The flute (veinticinco pesos) supports as many songs as you can play - if you're willing to taste the doo doo.

Physical characteristics: iPod nano has the headphone jack on the bottom. Mini and Sansa's are on the top. That's pretty much about it. The holes on the flute are placed on the warrior's breastular area.

In conclusion:
Buy the Sansa if you wanna save some dough and get a lesser-known brand with much more functions y abilities (2GB retails as of 9/22/06 at $139.99).
Buy the nano if you want some definite style and a skinny-a** mother fu**ing piece of sh** sexy mp3 player.
Buy the mini if you have a time machine.
Buy the flute.

-Andizzle (AKA Analyzer AKA the Notorious a.w.e.s.o.m.e.g.u.y.)