THE 23 BEST MEN JOKES OF THE YEAR

1. How does a man take a bubble bath ?
He eats beans for dinner.

2. How can you tell a man is sexually excited ?
He's breathing.

3. What is the difference between a man and ET ?
ET phones home.

4. What is a man's idea of foreplay ?
A half hour of begging.

5. What is the difference between men and government bonds ?
Bonds mature.

6. What did God say after creating man ?
I can do better.

7. Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up ?
Because they have no balls to scratch.

8. What do beer bottles and men have in common ?
They are both empty from the neck up.

9. What do you call a man with half a brain ?
Gifted.

10. How can you tell if a man is happy ?
Who cares.

11. What does a man consider as a 7 course meal ?
A hot dog and a six pack.

12. What do you have when you have 2 balls in your hand ?
A man's undivided attention.

13. Why are men like laxatives ?
They irritate the shit out of you.

14. Why did God create man ?
Because vibrators can't mow the lawn.

15. What are the 2 reasons men don't mind their own business?
1-No mind 2-No business

16. How are men and parking spots alike ?
The good ones are always taken and the ones that are left are handicapped.

17. What is the difference between a porcupine and a corvette ?
The porcupine has pricks on the outside.

18. Why is it hard for women to find men who are sensitive, caring and goodlooking ?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

19. How is a man like a snowstorm ?
Because you don't know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will stay.

20. Why were men given larger brains than dogs ?
So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.

21. How do you save a man from drowning ?
Take your foot off his head.

22. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
We don't know, it's never been done.

23. What's a man's idea of helping with the housework ?
Lifting his legs so you can vacuum