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Patient: It isn't possible that I am as much overweight as you say I am Doc.
Doctor:
OK maybe you would rather look
at it in a different light.
According to the chart, you're about ten inches too short.
A man was lying in the street with his ear to the ground. A police
> officer came up to him and said, "Hey, get out of the street. This is the twentieth century."
The man in a whispering voice
said, "A car, four people inside, going fast, about sixty miles an hour."
The policeman
said, "You can hear all that with your
ear to the ground?" "No." said the man. "They ran over me an hour ago."
The trouble with life is,
by the time you can read
a girl like a book, your
library card has expired.
- Milton Berle
HUMOR - PRAYER FOR THE DAY
"So far today, God, I've done all right. I haven't gossiped; I
haven't
lost my temper; haven't been grumpy, nasty or selfish. I'm really
glad
of that.
But in a few minutes, God, I'm going to get out of bed; and from
then
on, I'm probably going to need a lot of help."
A man wakes up his wife during the night with a glass of water in one
hand
and two aspirins in the other.
She asks, "What's this for?"
"This is for your headache," he says.
She says, "But I don't have a headache."
He smiles and says, "Gotcha!"
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