Title: There Is No Pain
Author: Dave Rogers
Series: Voyager, late series four.
Code: 7
Rating: PG
Date: 14 June 1999
Disclaimer: Seven of Nine is an adjunct of the Paramount collective.
This story is the product of my distinctiveness.
Summary: Seven of Nine reflects on a fateful decision.
THERE IS NO PAIN
In the Collective, there is no pain. This thought has preoccupied me
for many days, impairing my efficiency and detracting from my
perfection.
Before Captain Janeway assimilated me into her collective of
individuals, there was no "I", no identity, no individualism. There
was a memory of a human child, Anneka Hanson; of seven years of
strange but happy life, of a moment's fear, of acceptance and of
oblivion. There was the perfection of the great group mind of many
billions of units, the accumulated knowledge of nine thousand, five
hundred and seventy-two species, the enhancement of the Collective
and the comfort of permanent togetherness, but there was no change,
no growth, no challenge.
As an individual, I have experienced many emotions. I have known fear,
relief, anger, remorse, amusement and companionship. I have experienced
kindness from friends, and the satisfaction of performing acts of
kindness myself. I have begun to understand why the Collective is not
right for these individuals, with their hopes and dreams and ambitions
which are so uniquely a part of their distinctiveness. I have learned,
after all, to value their individuality, and with it, my own.
But is it enough? I retain my memories of when there was no word, no
concept, with the meaning "alone"; of when there was no uncertainty,
confusion or inefficiency; of when I felt no pain, for there was no "I"
to feel it.
Some day, Captain Janeway will make good her promise to me, and allow
me the freedom to make my final choice between individuality and the
Collective. I do not wish to lose what I have gained on Voyager, and
all that I have gained is a part of my individuality. If I choose the
Collective, all I have gained will be lost. But in my darkest moments,
when I am alone, afraid and uncertain, there is one memory of the
Collective that draws me back.
There is no pain.
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