March of the Living 1999 Diary
April 25, 2:00 AM (Israel time)
MotL - Final Thoughts and Reflections
Final Horah count: 4
We are now on the plane back to Montreal, so I suppose this is a good time to sum up my March experiences and so forth.
The first thing I'd like to talk about is what I got out of the trip. I said in my application essay that I wanted the events of the Holocaust to be more real to me. I certainly got that. More than that, this has been a trip of firsts for me: my first time overseas, my first time in Israel, my first time in a group like this, my first time (in a long time) crying in front of other people, the first time in a while that I've made new friends. I've had a lot of depressing experiences and a lot of really great ones.
Overall, I'd say that I'm very happy I came. I'm glad I had a chance to do the things I've done with the people in the group.
Without further ado, though, my most memorable March experiences (both good and bad) in no particular order:
- Majdanik
- The international March meeting on Wednesday
- Horahing in the streets of Krakow
- Ben Yehuda streeet and the giant ice cream
- Shabbat in Warsaw
- Mau (no account of my March would be complete without it)
- Meeting Israeli soldiers and wearing the paratrooper's hat
- The hike in Tel Dan
- Auschwitz and the March of the Living
- Touring Old Jewish Krakow
- Bus "aie"! and David's singing
- Listening to Mina and Lisolette (the survivors)
- The group meeting and sharing after Majdanik
- Finding Wyszogrod in Treblenka
- The old city of Jerusalem and the Kotel
- Yom Hazikaron siren
- Meeting my Israeli relatives
These are my most memorable moments, though of course there are others.
Now, on to my tips to future Marchers from what I've picked up this time around:
- Very important: Eating, sleeping, going to the bathroom: do them as much as you can, whenever you get the chance. You never know when you'll get another one.
- Have someone, an adult or another Marcher, who you can talk to. If you don't, don't worry, you will before it's all over.
- Again important: don't listen to other people when they tell you what you're going to feel on the March. Everyone feels something different, to different degrees, at different times. Also, don't try to force yourself to feel a certain way. Let whatever comes come naturally.
- Have an outlet for whatever emotions you feel. You've probably realized that mine is writing. Some people draw or even just talk about it. Whatever it is, don't keep it bottled up inside.
- (on a practical note) Bring extra underwear! Believe me, you'll thank yourself.
- The most practical thing you can bring with you s a roll of toilet paper and a jar of peanut butter. (at least in my opinion) You'll love yourself for bringing them.
- Don't worry if you don't know many people. You'll get to know the people in your group.
- Be prepared not to sleep a lot. That's a normal situation here and you just have to go with it.
- Try to call home a lot. It's a major emotional boost, at least for me. I tried not to call when I was upset (the exception being the night after Majdanik), but you might be different.
- Be prepared to try many new things. Remember, that's one of the major points of the March!
Okay, what else? I suppose that now, coming home, I have mixed feelings. I think I said it before, but I'll restate it. One part of me wants to stay in Israel to continue to see all the new and different things. Another wants to go home to my parents and my house.
Oh! That reminds me. One more list: the things I most want to do or have when I get home:
- Take a good, long shower, or maybe a bath.
- Sleep. Lots. In my own bed.
- Have a really good breakfast, maybe at Picasso's.
- Have a steak dinner.
- Hug my mom and the rest of my family.
- Develop my pictures.
- See Kevin and Eric again.
- Have a few hours of complete, undisturbed rest, where I can do what I want (read, use my computer, whatever.)
- Make my MotL webpage. [Ta-da!]
Not all of these are as urgent as others, obviously. Sleep, shower, and food are at the top of the list. Especially sleep. I intend to sleep a lot when I get home.
I have just two pages left, less, and I feel the need to finish this. So what else can I talk about, as the March draws to a close? Maybe about my future plans and how the March has affected me.
For one thing, I feel a lot more. . . Jewish than I did before. I want to be careful what I promise to do now, because I'm still in the heat of the moment. I want to talk about my March experiences with someone. I'm definitely putting this diary / travelogue on the internet, but somehow that doesn't seem like enough. I'm going to try to publish my poem, maybe to In2Print. I'm going to write some of the stories I came up with, I hope. I'd like to.
The March has changed me. I'm much more aware of my own mortality and how lucky I am just to be alive. I'm much more aware of how easy the Holocaust happened to people just like me which emphasizes all the more how it can't be allowed to happen again.
I'm also more. . . attached to Israel. I haven't experienced that great "connection" that I am part of the land, but I like it there. I can go and see, with my own eyes, so my of my national (whatever) history there. Even though I don't feel like it's my home, I feel like it's many people's home, and the home of people like me.
I've said just about all that's on my mind now, so there are my final words:
Always remember, never forget, and be happy that you are alive, no matter how hard things get!
Not original, I know, but very true.
Julie
