|
Tangled Abstract Fallacy Wandering through a land only soar eyes can see so lost in the memories of what used to be I cry when I think of the past knowing it will never feel that way again Alone and helpless in my mind I sit here not knowing where to run and hide Reaching for that ecstasy; which will only brighten maybe an hour of your life; but still you pray for it not to end cause your old life will once again begin Collapsing inside; I have fallen apart no reason to live, yet i don't want to die I'm just soo confused and want to cry. A hurt so extreme a pain so profound these are the feelings I feel when anyone and everyone's around. I feel this intense torment eating away at me inside it grabs onto my heart; pulls at it and pulls at it forcing me cry Without knowing why; It has taken me It has eaten me alive The tears, athough a symbol of pain, are so innocent and pure, Yet they are streaming down my eyes I feel them glide along my cheek, and past my lips With every step the tear takes it eats at my heart like you've been bitten by a leech They're not just tears of sadness, tears of crying out for help Telling God "I am hurting, PLEASE take me from this Hell" Without realizing it I have involuntary been made to choose to think I should die I have done things that would cause me to but I knew it and knew why I do not want to die; yet I'll go My life is fading away, as the sun beats down on my face, as the rain pours down from the sky This is the contradiction of my life, full of confusion full of obscure discomfort along with tangled visions For I will soon be taken; I see it coming Hopefully this will be the end of all my sorrow; my hidden pain, and the endless torture that no-one understands; that seems to remain Good-bye's are hard yet I've been through the worst: To say good-bye to your heart and watch it melt with fear is about the hardest good-bye one could ever feel © Michelle D, 1999 I am unhappy this I very know SO lonely on the inside unsure of where to go Locked in a world where there is no key inevitably no turning back No-one to reach; No-one to understand How did my life become so obscure? there's no-one who can help me anymore So why must people judge me on the images i see? They are my thoughts deranged as they may be When collaborating these thoughts a dark hold appears looking down this hole is the only way to keep me sane For that is my future my fate and my pain © Michelle D, 1999 What happens when you're at the end? Is it what I'm feeling inside my body, inside my head? Is all I hoped for in life deteriorating away in the air? Turning to dust; dust to ashes; my whole life is falling through my hands. Negative thoughts cloud my mind, run through my body, eat away at my insides. Grasping for some sort of sanity, hoping I'll sleep tonight But they keep on at me I no longer can put up a fight. Help me! Help me! she screams in pain, but her voice is never heard by anyone--it's drowned out by the echoes in her brain The only traces left of her are her tears--this is all that remains Lying there she goes crazy, out of her mind Grasping for something, something sane that she can not find. Forced to give in 'cause they've taken her mind, body, and soul. Her whole body goes numb; Can not move, speak, or cry She's lost control !!! The only thing that is done is lie there feeling paralysed from the bottom of her soul; Forever emotionally left in a deep dark hole. © Michelle D, 1999 I felt it coming; Good-Bye Pain in my head Pain in my heart it runs through my body tearing my insides apart i've become so weak i fall to my knees Sometimes i'm numb, my legs paralyzed, I can not breath Hoping someone will help me soon I lye in bed waiting in my room. I cry & cry shedding tear after tear as I tell myself I need more beer. As the tears turn my eye sight to a haze I stare at the glass bottles in a gaze : "Hmmm if I broke it, it would be sharp--as sharp as a knife, I could cut myself, Die with just once slice & end my life" Years go by and I contemplate this decision; My life waiting out to complete the curses mission Down in my room I stare at the glass Starring for a while then I pick it up and --Slash I let out a whimper then scream real loud My parents run down the steps, my mom opens my door and falls to the ground They see me with tears pouring from each eye, just lying up against my bed waiting to die. My mom yells to my dad "Call 911" But by the time they get here I was already dead in a puddle of blood. My mother grabs me in her arms and prays to god up above as my dad sighs " Didn't she know she was loved ?" But no matter how many tears they cry, no matter what they do and no matter what they say can NEVER, and will NEVER bring me back - - - - because their daughter died today! © Michelle D, 1999 |