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Each day is another struggle to inhale: Selfish sun decides to put in appearance at his leisure leaving me tangled in a terrifying cloak of insecurity with no one to save me. Lone tear girl with broken nails and broken soul scrambling for what little truth exists in the world. Her intentions quickly grow weak: this immoral world is too wretched and hateful, beats me back with lashing tongues and spiteful minds; a dilemma that has no doors. So, I am the invisible enigma. Doomed to eternity after eternity trapped within the screaming demons in my absent mind. My eyes are hollow, but look more closely, and I AM there: scrape the shadows from my sickly silhouette, and I am the same person I was before. But how those shadows have a grip upon me!! All too easy to hang my pitiful head and curse the life I am forced to face, for this fight is too much for even the strongest solitary soul to persevere. Unbeholden scarred hands reach forth to touch the light that will never be proper for their possession, dripping with the innocent blood of a girl tripping over her soul time and time again. But my saviour does not exist: will not share my plight, For my worthiness has been predetermined, and happiness shall never be mine. And so, I am sold to this realisation, and battle away like a harmless tin soldier amongst the firey hatred that burns at my heart. My smile will never be realised, my heart never given, and no trust ever bestowed. This is my sentence, my lonely cell, and I wait here only for crawling death. * * * * * * * The role play of the mute room begins: I wear him as my shadowy blanket; he beats the demons away. Blind visions of blind eyes from premature memories, Clasped in the skeletal hands of fear: icicles kiss his sweet lips and melt. Woven thread and beaten silver hide the remnants of the soul, disguising it selfishly from the wandering heart; Searching for something to search for in the mirrors where his eyes should be, prescription of timid words violently swallowed; wretch of hatred abandons me now ("Do your eyes sting when they close?") and leaves me to stagger naked through a realm in which I have no place. * * * * * * * nosferata, 1996
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