memory of a blood-lust
The nights had all been long since that tragic night on November, 12, 1988. I hadn't realised the impact that it would have on my life. If I had the chance, I would go back into the past and change it all so that the event would never occur, and I wouldn't be the mangy dog I am now. But what has happened has, and I can't change that, no matter how hard I try. I was once a well to do man living a happy life. I had a wife and kids. But that's where my memories get blurry and misted over. The only other things I can remember are the events that happened and lead up to that fateful night (Huh, how come fate never comes into play when you're down and need to be helped I ask you that?) After that, I don't even know what happened to my family. Maybe they left me because of what I had been doing. Maybe they were a part of it and where killed. Maybe they had been caught in the middle and are no more. What ever happened to them doesn't matter, because I'm sure I said before (I don't know...I'm not a writer, just some mangy dog telling a story that will probably never see the light of day!) I'm alone with no friends or family...I wasn't responsible for my actions. The night started like any other. I hadn't known my own words would be the link to something horrible and dangerous that would end up chaining me tenfold. The wind blew gently against my face as I watched the kids as they played on the swings in the yard The swings were old, but they stood up to the continual bashings of the children. As the sun set their mother called us in for tea. That was when fate set its big, ugly, and albeit unwelcome foot in the door (Huh...There's that damn word again. I need some fate now, to rid me of my curse! But do I get any? NO!) The first thing that happened was an argument with my wife, about what escapes me, but I do know it was big, catastrophic even. I opened my big mouth (not an experience entirely new to me) and was told to get out before the police were extended a kind invitation to pick me up and throw me into the county. I kindly accepted the offer of going outside with a few awful words (enough to get me thrown into jail without my 'lovely' wife calling the police herself.) I spent the night in yard, freezing my balls off and wondering whether I'd get out of this one. That's where the memories start to fade, I know that some sort of bat visited me that night and that it had landed on me some time during our lovely talk (Huh...listen to me, talking to a friggin' bat, am I going crazy or is this how it really happened?) The next morning all I remember is that the sun seemed a little brighter than yesterday. My eyes felt as if I had been through a hangover and had stabbed them with blunt pencils. Had I really been outside all night? And what was this hint of a smell of copper on the air? No, wait, it wasn't copper, it was blood. I looked down at my stomach, expecting to see a gaping hole in it where a shot-gun shell had been unselfishly placed. But all that was there were two small holes, no more than a centimetre wide, with blood all over my white shirt. At that point I must have fallen unconscious, because the next thing I remember was a dream (or was it?) Where I was alone, in my jeans and jacket, wondering the streets at night. I noticed something moving in the dark alley off to the left. I walked over to it, but by the time I reached the point where it had been, the thing was gone. The only thing that was there was a pool of blood and a dead dog that had been torn apart from the neck down. I seem to remember something about licking up the blood, but that is all a blur to me (GOD DAMN IT! WHY?) And so I come to the next turning point in my life, I woke up from my dream (or am I still asleep as I write this?) and found the smallest hint of blood on my shirt, I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and just as I was about to put the brush in my mouth I noticed a small tuft of what looked to be animal fur between my teeth, cue the complimentary groan. My wife (If you could still call her that now, for this is where we started to drift apart, our 'differences' coming between us) actually worried about the blood, but she never found the fur (Thank the lord.) Now as I sit here writing this seemingly impossible account of what happened I start to believe that my worst nightmares have become real. The next dream I had, I was walking in the same dark alley and I came across a vagabond, blood played a big part in this theatre of the mind as well. In the paper the next morning a homeless person was found in an alley with his head two metres from his body and all the blood had been taken, that was puzzling, how could every drop of blood have been taken? It's not possible...is it? And as I write about these events, do I feel the craving for...No, I can't think about it, did I walk to the alley that morning...I can't remember. This may be the insight of a crazy man, but I assure you it is real (If only so I can believe it myself.) The next dream I wasn't at the alley but at...could that have been how my hand was lost...could it be possible that I...but one can't do that to themselves can they? The next dream had a bench...it was at the mall and the victim was a homeless person...as were all the victims. The papers were still baffled and the police had no clue, except that this murder had been the same as the others...the baffling thing was that this was in the mall and the others were in the alley. They found a hand off to one side...it seems that the killer had chewed off his own...but enough, they had no clue and that is all that matters...the dreams...they still haunt me here as I write in an abandoned church. (Huh...what a place for something like me to be writing in isn't it?) And while I'm finally hunted I sit and...prey. They did eventually figure out the clue they needed...when my wife and kids were killed in the lust...or was that a dream? I don't know...all I know is that when my the hands of death gripped tight on one of the 'victims', as I have come to know them as, a clue was found which they linked to the hand...a but of tooth...long and sharp...was found near the body...now I'm being chased as a mangy low life killer when all I am is a creature fighting for survival...they kill a cow or pig for food and they are just getting food to live off...one of my kind kills for food and we are murderous monsters...what does that say about moral values? Although I must admit that I would have, at one stage, thought the same thing...that this was an insane man...or woman...killing and then eating people...although one word comes to mind, I would have laughed at anyone who would have suggested it to me once...but now? Vampire doesn't seem the right word...although it is the closest thing to what I...or what ever it is out there...I don't believe I am safe here in this church. But it will do for another couple of days when I'll disappear once more. They will track me down...I'll make sure they do because I need a reason to go and this church isn't very comfy, not with these blood marks down the aisle and the pews ripped to shreds in one of my ever growing rages. The air is cold and although it is night the sky is rather well lit...as I walk I notice a cat and I seem to watch the events through a TV, my body picks the cat up and then kindly puts its head on the ground. Then I drink the...the cat, I can't watch but I must...the cat's dead and I seem to turn to mist and float away. To the hill where young lovers go for a 'romantic' date...I saw a car and in it are two people...as the mists get closer they seem to shiver as if suddenly became very cold. As I drew even closer they attempt to cover themselves with what little clothes they could gather in a hurry...they seem very nervous, as if a young person being caught smoking for the first time by his parents, that is the last thing I remember of that night...except what was in the papers the next morning about the young couple...it turns out they were still in college, he was doing quite well, and she would have made not a bad doctor...now they are answering the calls of death in the depths of where ever people go when they die. After that I moved...the police were staking out the church and I needed something more...Gothic. So the most obvious place was the big clock tower in the middle of the city...I heard people complain of a smell of rotting flesh as they up here for one of the little tours that the city council some-times puts on...but they never realised that was because they were smelling rotting flesh...for the next couple of weeks people just disappeared and were never found...at least until one person climbed the clock works and found the 'meals' when I was out...when I came back the police were swarming over the place and I had to leave my new home. I found a small apartment...occupied, but not for long...this is where I am now. Dreams all seem real to the human mind as they are dreamt...but to actually happen is a different matter...a sewer is all I remember of the next one and when I woke up I saw foot-prints made out of sewage on my floor...and a rat. I don't know if I'm crazy, but to find out that you ate a rat... it's not a nice thought, let me tell you...I sit and write this chewing on a severed finger...or does it just look like a finger? I'm lonely now...can't get anywhere...I'm only a man who seems to have a taste for a different food...would I been such a monster if all people ate the same stuff as me? I have decided to end the era of the 'vampire' as the papers are saying...I must stop it for I am the only one who can. I'll go to a volcano and stake myself...and as I fall forward I'll remember that life wasn't as bad as it is now...
THE EXAMINER NOV. 12th 1989 MAN KILLED IN COLD BLOOD Last Friday a man was found in an alley without a head, all the man's blood was missing and the police are saying they are investigating with little or no evidence being turned up...this murder is similar to those over in Maine a year ago. Police inform people to make sure they are indoors by four p.m. and have all doors and windows secured. This curfew will be in effect until the criminal element has been caught, we will have more stories as the news is found.
Nick Poremskis, 1997
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