I am a hermaphrodite, nothing could be finer
I have both a penis and also vagina.
I pee sitting down, I stand to shit
My wardrobe is huge, and everything fits.
I have hair on my legs, but my smooth is my chest
My hair is as full as a rooster's proud crest.

I know that I carry no diseases, no sir!
When your partner's yourself, of that you are sure.
When people ask me my sex, I say, well, "Maybe"
I'm sterile, so my children will be someone else's baby.
If I feel like a girl, I'll go out in dresses and heels
If I want to be the boy, I also know how that feels.

Yes, I'm a hermy, and I couldn't be prouder
I use both aftershave and make-up powder.
By definition I am bisexual, my friends
But so would you be, if you possessed both ends...
You should be jealous, my life, my bathroom shelf,
Envy me that I can truly screw myself...