ELEMENT: MAN
 ATOMIC WEIGHT: Accepted as 170 lbs, known to vary from 98 to 360 lbs
 SYMBOL: EGO
 DISCOVERER: Eve.  Discovered by accident one day when she had a
             craving for ribs.
 OCCURANCE: Large quantities in all populated areas.  Highly concentrated
            deposits at all sporting events and areas known as "singles bars".
            Extremely low quantities can be found in any location where
            cleaning up is required.  (See Women and Slave Labor)

 PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
   1) Surface often covered with hair--bristly in some areas, soft in others.
   2) Boils when inconvenienced, freezes when faced with Logic & Common Sense.
   3) Melts if treated like a God.
   4) Can cause headaches and severe body aches; handle with extreme caution.
   5) Specimens can be found in various states ranging from deeply sensitive
      to extremely thick.
   6) Becomes stubborn and unyielding when pressure is applied; yields only
      when subtlety, subterfuge, flattery are applied.

 CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
   1) Is repelled by concentrated quantities of precious and semi-precious
      metals and stones (See Jewelery Store).  However, is attracted to
      small quantities of these when viewed worn against the skin of a
      woman.  It is believed woman's skin combines with the aforementioned
      to create a highly magnetic attraction for this element.
   2) May explode spontaneously if wallet is opened.
   3) Requires copious quantities of substances known as attention,
      reassurance, and stroking.
   4) When saturated with Alcohol will be fairly inert and will repel most
      other elements.
   5) Is repelled by most household appliances and common household cleansers.
   6) Is repelled by small children clothed in diapers, particularly those
      of the malodorous variety.
   7) Is rendered non-functional when confronted with the items in #5 & #6.
   8) Is neutral to common courtesy and fairness.
   9) Is impervious to embarrassment.
  10) Most powerful embittering and aggravating agent known to woman.