A Thousand Beers and A Thousand Cigarettes

Doug and Joseph's Austin Memoirs

Soon To Be A Major Motion Picture

Day 2

(To appreciate the full effect of Day 2, it is suggested that you down a twelve pack, several shots of tequila or kamikaze's (your choice), and smoke three times your normal intake of cigarettes...3/4 of a pack if you don't smoke--after all, you were second-hand smoking if you hung out with us. Next sleep for approximately 5 hours then wake up to a stench that no one wants to claim.)

Joseph wakes up first at approximately 9 am and insists that we take advantage of the complimentary breakfast down in the lobby. Doug gives in but Squirgio resists. With no time to argue, Joseph and Doug leave him and head on down. Joseph decides it would be better for the other guests if he leave his sunglasses on and Doug decides it would be better on us all if he have cereal and a bagel instead of the bacon, sausage, pancakes, potatoes, and scrambled eggs that Joseph devours. Squirge joins us after a while and we plan the day's events.

A couple of forgotten items are mentioned and we decide to ask Alyssa, at the front desk, for directions to a department store. BIG MISTAKE to not specify minimum requirements in a department store. We spend the next hour driving to and walking around a mall whose idea of department stores are Dillard's (???) and JC Penney's. A complete waste of time so we venture out to find SAK's 5th Avenue. After getting lost and then misinterpreting directions we wind up back at our suite yet another hour later with not a damned thing accomplished. We all go back to bed.

At 2 pm we wake up again and remember that KV promised to call and take us all to the Shady Grove Cafe for the day's main meal. After about an hour of doing nothing we call her and leave a message that we are going to the Shady Grove without them. We are needing drinks, and no ex-go-go is going to stand between us and the bottle. Great idea. We choose to sit outside in the shade. Despite the white stuff falling from the sky (was it ash from the New Mexico fire? was it feathers? who knows and who cares?), the food turns out to be quite appetizing and we have fun piecing together the prior evening's events and contemplate what awaits us. We should have stayed there for a while longer.

Next thing we knew we were searching for a non-existent bar to satisfy Doug's "need for sleaze". Squirgio claims that Joseph, the prior evening, slurred something about a place called The Sack that he found out about from one of his victims. Joseph calls him a liar, remembering no such conversation, but we scour the town anyway. After stopping at a phone booth, racking up roaming cellular phone bills, cruising up and down one way streets, and finally getting some decent directions (and a phone number for later) from Doug's new admirer at the Four Season's Hotel, we head to.....the Chain Drive. Not much to tell about this place except that it's pitch black and that the bartender gave us free drinks and told us to come back later when there would be a few patrons there. We lie and say that we will and head back into the daylight/HEAT and back to our suite. Naturally, we then go back to bed.

It is after this catnap that Joseph has the idea to recreate "The Clown Family's" birth scene. Doug gives birth to Joseph, Squirge squeezes out baby Doug, and Joseph finally squats life to Squirge while cameras flash and we all get headaches from laughing so hard. Later the girls call and tell us they were tied up most of the day at soundcheck and to meet them at the Copper Tank for round two of our Delphonic Mini Tour.

We arrive at the Copper Tank to find the place completely filled to the rafters with what we call "breeders". It's hard to tell who's there to see the Del's and who's there to see the end of some basketball game but we don't care and head back out the door, eager to explore the street life. We don't get far before Doug sees KV and her relatives hiding out in a closed of section of the Copper Tank so we join them for jokes galore from KV's Uncle Red. Then we head out onto 6th Street (despite Uncle Red's warning of the numerous "freaks" that would be lurking--- guess he didn't get to know us very well) to get some exploring accomplished before the big show. 6th Street in Austin is the place to be on a Friday or Saturday night. There are an endless supply of nightclubs, bars, and discos on 6th Street and an endless supply of party-goers to frequent them. Nearly every bar has a band playing in it but we decide it best to grab a slice of pizza and head back to the 'Tank to fight for a table.

Joseph commandeers a table at the front of the stage, but behind the pit area, and then proceeds to give attitude to some breeder who wants to leave his empty drink glasses with us. Doug pisses Joseph off by telling the guy "sure, it's OK". Our first (and only, I'm pretty sure) little argument ensues but is quickly forgotten as the Del's hit the stage and we ditch the table anyway and rock out in the pit.

The Del's play what was most definitely the longest set of their career- about and hour and twenty minutes. This includes everything from the night before and other tunes that had been omitted. To our enjoyment, Outskirts of Living finds it's way in... the crowd begs for Dancing Days and gets that and many other songs. Kathy's aunt says goodbye to her in the middle of the set, and nearly pulls her offstage trying to smooch her. KV's Tube Screamer pedal gives out, and while she is bent over to adjust it Gina gets a show- it seems that Kathy's skirt is a bit on the short side! The crowd is packed with drunken straight boys who worship Q. Gina has a foot cramp, and makes us laugh from behind her drum kit by mouthing to us- "what time is it?" "how much longer?".... "Don't take my picture!".... The set is a great success, and everyone is happy.