Two
of them kissed last night
(au, 335 kb)
There was a girl we'll call her Betty
And a guy let's call him Neil
Now I can't stress this point too strongly
This story isn't real.
Now our Neil must decide
Who will be the girl that he casts aside?
Will Betty be the one who he loves truly
Or will it be the one who we'll call J-L-Lulie?
He must decide, he must decide
Even though I made him up he must decide.
The Barnyard Song
(au, 70 kb,
zipped)
Oh the cow in the meadow goes "moo"
Oh the cow in the meadow goes "moo"
Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up
And that's how we get hamburgers.
Grandma
(au, 161 kb,
zipped)
Now grandma's a person who everyone likes
She brought you a train and a nice shiny bike
But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner
And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner.
Now your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru,
But the truth is she died and someday you will too.
Bisexuals
(au, 76 kb,
zipped)
Sometimes men love women
And sometimes men love men
Then there are bi-sexuals
But some just say they're kidding themselves
La-la-la-la-la-la...
Don't
(au, 155, zipped)
There'll be times when you get older
When you'll want to sleep with people
Just to make them like you
But DON'T
Cause that's another thing that you don't wanna do
Everybody: That's another thing that you don't wanna do
The
Baby Song
(au, 114, zipped)
They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch
Soon they'll grow old and resent you so much.
Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why
And you cry and you cry and you cry
And you cry and you cry...
The
Blackout
(wave, 105 kb,
zipped)
New York City has no power
And the milk is getting sour
But to me that is not scary
Cause I stay away from dairy
La-la-la-la-la-la...
The
Shower Song
(au, 172 kb,
zipped)
I'm in the shower and I'm writing a song
Stop me if you've heard it
My skin is soapy and my hair is wet
And tegrin spelled backward is nirget.
Lather, rinse, repeat
Lather, rinse, repeat
Lather, rinse, repeat
As needed
Smellycat
(wave, 207 kb,
zipped)
Smelly cat, smelly cat
What are they feeding you?
Smelly cat, smelly cat
It's not your fault.
They won't take you to the vet
You're obviously not their favourite pet
You may not be a bed of roses
And you're no friend to those with noses
My
mother's ashes
(au, 217 kb,
zipped)
My mother's ashes
Even her eyelashes
Are resting in a little yellow jaaaaaaar
The
Snowman
(au, 308, zipped)
I made a man with eyes of coal
And a smile so bewitchin'
How was I supposed to know
That my mom was dead in the kitchen
La, la, la, la, la, la, la...
My
Coma Guy
You don't have to be awake to be my man
As long as you have brain waves
I'll be there to hold your hand.
Though we just met the other day
There's something I have got to say...
Love
Love is sweet as summer showers
Love is a wondrous work of art
But your love, your love, your love
Is like a giant pigeon
Crapping on my heart
La la la la la la la...
They
found their bodies....
And they found their bodies the very next day
They found their bodies the very next...
Terry's
a jerk
Terry's a jerk!
And he won't let me work!
And I hate Central Perk!
And you're all invited to bite me!
Crusty
old man
And the crusty old man said "I'll do what I can"
And the rest of the rats played maracas.
The
Christmas song
Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap
Asked him to bring my friends all kinds of crap
He said all you need is to write them a song
You haven't heard it yet, so don't try to sing along
So don't sing along
Monica, Monica, have a happy chanukka
Saw Santa Claus, he said hello to Ross
And please tell Joey, Christmas will be snowy
And Rachel and Chandler, brkjkaljakjfksj-andler
