The continuing saga of life in Cincinnati...
Well… what a weekend that was… Technically, it hasn’t ended yet, but all that remains is my travel back to Cincinnati tomorrow. All that is said and done, I’ve managed to see old friends, see them wed, and catch a musical in New York. Not bad a weekend after all!
Cindy and Wai are friends of mine from way back to Hong Kong times. By the time I met them in January 1995, they were unofficially an item. I think I’ve described Wai before – guy you could really hate, if he weren’t so charming. Good looking, athletic, musical, very well educated (Chartered Engineer, and MBA from NYU’s Stern Business School)..soft spoken…. Apart from being not the world’s greatest at assembling Ikea furniture (managed to get one of my pieces of furniture upside down – “Don’t need to read instructions, just put them together like this…” Famous last words!) I can’t think of what he can’t do.
Is there a tinge of envy in here somewhere?
As for Cynthia – well... I’ve never been killed by Barbie before, but Cynthia used to exude (although less and less now) an air of, well, air-headedness about her. Except that behind that “Yeah yeah yeah!” and that smile, lay the trap for the unwary. Don’t be fooled – brain’s very sharp on this one.
Anyway. I met them on Friday evening. After all, I was supposed to be the Master of Ceremonies for the wedding, and it would be nice to know what was supposed to be going on. I was finally given the plan after dinner – and realised very very quickly that there really wasn’t much of a plan: they had rough times for the caterer. And everything else – well, “we want it informal…” Silent groan from Darren…
Well. Cometh the hour, cometh the man – and I just had to pull my socks up and step up to the plate (how many more clichés can I get in here) and do my job as best I can. Well. The invitation said ceremony at 5. At 4.30 they still hadn’t had a rehearsal… talk about cutting it fine. And of course when they finally got into the chapel for the dry run, the guests started arriving. So they got diverted into the reception area – caterers half killed me as they were not expecting anyone until 6! But I needed somewhere for the earlyguests, and that felt as good as place as any!
Well – seating done, we had the ceremony, which was brief, but sweet. One of Cindy’s friends read 1 Cor 13, the ‘love’ chapter of the Bible, another sang a short song based on that passage. Then it came my turn to do my reading, which I had only received the night before. I hadn’t really looked at it till the morning, and suddenly realised that they were using a modern translation. I just knew that if I were not careful, I would slip back into the classical language of the King James Version: “...what therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder” as opposed to the modern version printed on the service sheet “let no man put separate.” Well…careful as I was, I did slip, but caught myself in time. Phew!
Anyway. The rest of the evening went well. Have I ever said that I did not want to have to be a bi-lingual MC again? Well… I ended up being one again. I introduced the bestman, first in Chinese, letting everyone know that in western weddings, it is traditional for the bestman to “introduce” the groom to the family and guests, but after 10 years, was there anything else to know? Well – we just had to listen to find out. It ended up a simple speech, a simple toast – Howard kept it short because I gather the groom forgot to tell him that he was going to give one. Well, it is traditional to give one, but Wai and Cindy had said in July “No speeches necessary – after 10 years, no introductions necessary!” Ah Wai’s karate teacher mentioned how fast he was… and of course mentioned if Cynthia had any problems, she only had to call. Then one of Cynthia’s friends from high school, Danielle, gave us a bride’s equivalent of the bestman’s speech. We now know that Cythia can stretch trial sized tube of toothpaste for more than 47 days!
We did manage to get the dinner, the speeches (I didn’t have to do one! Yeah!) all done. So I thought – then someone from the table of Wai’s work colleagues stood up to tell us of how Wai was the most patient, most helpful person at work, and how happy they were for him. And we drank another toast to that.
Then came the moment of the groom’s speech: this time, the groom did not want to speak, but instead wanted to play a duet with his guitar teacher, so I had to improvise an introduction to the performance. I think I did well – pointing to Wai’s quiet demeanour, being a man of few words, but, I pointed out to the crowd, I did not say he was reserved, for he expressed himself differently, and tonight he wanted to say something, but through his music.
[Flamenco – the “firedance”. Ah yes, as Wai played the duet with his teacher, and his teacher’s wife provided the palma – the characteristic syncopated clapping – I had to confess to wanting to go out and dance – a dance I last did probably 7 or 8 years ago. Thankfully, cool calmness ruled, and I just tapped my feet and enjoyed Wai’s playing.]
In the end, it was the bride who addressed the guests. She and Ah Wai stood up and with her right hand in his hands, gave a short simple speech that spoke so much of the gratitude that she had for those of us near and far who could share this day with her. This finally prompted, an emotional Ah Wai who spoke mainly in Cantonese, to thank his mum, Cynthia’s parents, and to thank his high-school teacher, who by chance (does this exist outside gambling?) was now located in New York. His teacher had become a pastor, and said grace for us in Cantonese. For him, it was such a gift from God to be able to attend this wedding.
Apart from the salad and some of the vegetables, I don’t think I ate much that night. Comes with all the adrenaline! I briefly mentioned to Colin that we had a tight timetable because the bride and groom had hinted they really wanted to clear out on time. So once the time was right, I got the bride and groom to get their parents to form a recessional line, and I made my final announcement for the evening – “Ladies and gentlemen, on behalf of the bride and groom, and on behalf of their parents, I would like to thank you for sharing this day with us. Thank you for coming, for being here, and have a good night.” [Or as Colin put it “That was a much nicer way of putting things, rather than just saying ‘get out!’”]
And with that, my final duties were done. Shoulders could relax…
It’s a very odd feeling, being part of any ceremony. I was bestman and MC at one wedding, said a prayer in Mandarin for another, and now MC for this. It’s not unlike being part of the service team at Church on Sunday: I don’t get to enjoy it because I making sure people enjoy the event, or in church, people are served through my service. Once I made the final announcement, I could relax, and look back at the whole event and savour the whole event. It was beautiful: it was simple in a relaxed manner, and yet that reflected so much the two of them. Yes, it’s taken them 10 years to finally reach this stage. Wow. She had patience, he had tenacity. So happy for them.
The wedding also afforded me the chance to catch up with some of my other friends. Hok, who knew Cynthia from high school days and whom I met out in Hong Kong. There was Abigail – another friend of Cynthia’s from high school – who I’m great pals with, although we don’t talk that much. And then, there was my best pal Colin, who came up from Philedelphia for the wedding. Two people missing from the table were cousin Ming (recently delivered of her third child) and Su, who was going to turn up, but could not do so at the last minute. During dinner, Abigail suddenly remarked that the last time we were dressed up together was our dinner all those years ago at the Mandarin Oriental. That was well nigh 10 years ago! Colin, Abigail and I had a chuckle of the event – and yes, it’s still on my website!
I received a few plaudits for my handling the whole event. Someone actually said, “I bet you they just wanted that English accent at their wedding!” Had to disappoint that guy that my accent is getting to be too much of a mongrel’s accent for me to claim it being English! It was actually Danielle’s father whose words really resonated with me. He said that not only had I taken the role seriously, from the readings to the ushering and the whole evening, I had remembered the dignity of the occasion, something in his experience, people were beginning to forget. My mind of course, raced to those bawdy games that people get up to in Hong Kong weddings. Well… I really agree with those sentiments: a wedding is a wonderful occasion, but it is also a serious day.
And as a high-churchman, what else could I be doing but take all of the pomp and ceremony seriously!
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I managed to catch some time with Colin, who took time out of his busy schedule to come into the City the next day, and have lunch with me. There is something about sitting across from a table, and shooting the breeze with a good friend.
To be fair we had covered some of the ground by phone, but you know, being there in person, nothing beats the feeling!
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From wedding to a musical about a wedding: I managed to get a ticket for Mamma Mia! Unlike most musicals, where an idea is born and the music is written around the idea, Mama Mia! is a musical written around the songs of ABBA. A simple story of a girl inviting the three men who could be her father to her wedding, in the hope that she would find the right man to give her away on that day. I remember when it first opened in London’s West End, how the critics panned the show. They claimed it was lightweight, contrived. But 5 years later, this lightweight, contrived piece of work is still packing people into theatres! The music of Abba somehow resonates with so many people of so many different age groups that just going to see how they fit the songs to a story was worth the watching.
One thing though. If you are so young that you’ve missed Abba (i.e. 80s child) then you might find the musical, boring(?) I was sitting beside a man with a young woman besides him (in former times it would have been safe for me to surmise it was a father and his teen-aged daughter.) By the second half of the musical, while dad and I were laughing and just digging the music, daughter was looking at her watch, looking a little bored.
Okay, let’s get real: this is not a mega-production that will move you like Les Miserable or even Miss Saigon. This isn’t a small production full of energy and verve, like Rent. But if you ever remember any Abba song, and you want good entertainment, go get a ticket! It will have you laughing and feeling good.
Anyway. The weekend is now ending, I’ve started packing my bags, getting ready to retire for the evening, and start the whole work-thing again. But hey – I had a great weekend! Hope you guys had a good one too!
Regards
Darren
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Amended on:
Monday October 11, 2004