*...You know, most people look through their wallets or their pocketbooks and way down at the bottom, past the credit cards and baby pictures, green stamps...you usually find a little old dog-eared piece of poetry. I was cleaning out my wallet the other day and I ran across a whole bunch of I.O.U.'s, some of them 30 years overdue. Funny thing is that all of these I.O.U.'s are owed to one person, and I kinda feel like right now might be pretty good time for an accounting. Mom, you listening? Mom, I owe you for so many things...a lot of services. Like night watchman, for instance. For lying awake at nights listening for coughs and cries and creaking floor boards and me coming in too late. You had the eye of an eagle, the roar of a lion...but you always had a heart as big as a house. I owe you for services as a short order cook, chef, baker. For making sirloin out of hamber, turkey out of tunafish and for two big strapping boys out of leftovers. I owe you for cleaning services, for the daily scrubbing of face and ears...all work done by hand. And for the frequent dusting of a small boy's pants to try to make sure he led a spotless life. And for washing and ironing no laundry could ever do. And for drying up my tears of a childhood and for protecting me from the terrors of thunderstorms and nightmares and too many green apples. And Lord knows I owe you for medical attention. For nursing me through measles, mumps, bruises, bumps, splinters and spring fever. And let's not forget medical advice either. Oh no! Important things like "don't scratch it or it won't get well," "if you cross your eyes they're gonna stick like that." And probably, uh, most important of all was "be sure you got on clean underwear, boy, in case you're in an accident." And I owe you for veterinarian services, for feeding every lost dog that I had dragged home at the end of a rope, and for healing the pains of puppy love. And I owe you for entertainment. Entertainment that kept a household going during some pretty tough times. For wonderful productions at Christmas, 4th of July and birthday. And for making make believe come true on a very limited budget. I owe you for construction work. For building kites, confidence, hopes and dreams. And somehow you made 'em all touch the sky. And for cementing a family together so it would stand the worst kinds of shocks and blows, and for laying down a good, strong foundation to build a life on. I owe you for carrying charges. For carrying me on your books for the necessities of life that a growing boy's just gotta have...things like a, oh pair of high top boots with a little pocket on the side of for a jackknife. And one thing, Mom, I will never, ever forget. When there were only two pieces of apple pie left and three hungry people, I noticed that you were the one who suddenly decided that you really didn't like apple pie in the first place. These are just a very few of the things for which payment is long overdue. The person I owe 'em to worked very cheap. She managed by simply doing without a whole lot of things that she needed herself. My I.O.U.'s add up to much more than I could ever hope to repay. But you know, the nicest thing about it all is that she'll mark the entire bill paid in full for just
one kiss and four little words...*