We waste more time by 8:00 in the morning than other companies do all day.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.

Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.

TEAMWORK... means never having to take all the blame yourself.

When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break.

We waste time, so you don't have to.

Work: It isn't just for sleeping anymore.

Succeed in spite of management. Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment.

A person who smiles in the face of adversity... probably has a scapegoat.

Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.

INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY.

Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away!

If at first you don't succeed, try management.

A snooze button is a poor substitute for no alarm clock at all.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Plagiarism saves time.

We put the "k" in "kwality."

You pretend to work, and we'll pretend to pay you.

If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation.