|
My first serious relationship was in full swing at the time of my self-diagnosis, but I didn't share that with my boyfriend, Jamie. He had witnessed my tics - hell, we lived together for 2 years - but not said anything about them. I figured there was no point in drawing attention to myself in that way, especially since he hadn't complained about them so far. It wasn't til long after we broke up that I thought I had TS. He didn't say much. Some people will outgrow their childhood tics and not be bothered by them again. Some will plateau at around age 21. Some people have tics that hang around forever, waxing and waning like the moon, only not as regularly or comfortably. I fall into the last group, and towards the end of 1998, my symptoms worsened again. I was a mess - Jamie had proposed marriage to me, then recanted...I had lost one job and started another, and my sister was in jail for numerous drug related offences. My tics got louder and more obnoxious, and I could no longer hide them in public. The one I was most ashamed of is a grunt that is still with me. When it's quiet, it sounds like I have the hiccups. Most of the time, it's loud and icky and it makes me cry with frustration. I decided that I couldn't hide my suspicions anymore, and started talking about it with people on the internet. At my Mum's suggestion, I joined the TS Fun mailing list. It consisted of a whole lot of people with TS and some parents of TS kids. Through discussions with them, I accepted that what I had was 99% likely to be TS. Friends I had made on ICQ were told - some of them vanished faster than iceblocks on a hot day. Some of them told me I was crazy, and that self-diagnosis was worse than none at all. Some of them listened, asked questions, accepted, and moved the conversation along. I soon found out who my friends were: they hung around. << >> |