On an Electrician's truck:
Let us remove your shorts.
Outside a Radiator Repair Shop:
Best place in town to take a leak.
In a Non-smoking area:
If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take
appropriate action.
On Maternity Room door:
Push, Push, Push.
On a Front Door:
Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog.
At an Optometrist's Office:
If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.
On a Scientist's door:
Gone Fission
On a Taxidermist's window:
We really know our stuff.
In a Podiatrist's window:
Time wounds all heels.
On a Butcher's window:
Let me meat your needs.
On another Butcher's window:
Pleased to meat you.
At a Used Car Lot:
Second Hand cars in first crash condition.
On a fence:
Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive.
At a Car Dealership:
The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.
Outside a Muffler Shop:
No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming.
Outside a Hotel:
Help! We need inn-experienced people.
At an Auto Body Shop:
May we have the next dents?
In a Dry Cleaner's Emporium:
Drop your pants here.
On a desk in a Reception Room:
We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left.
In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!
On a Music Teacher's door:
Out Chopin.
At the Electric Company:
We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be.
In a Beauty Shop:
Dye now!
On the side of a Garbage Truck:
We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
On the door of a Computer Store:
Out for a quick byte.
In a Restaurant window:
Don't stand there and be hungry; come in and get fed up.
Inside a Bowling Alley:
Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop.
In a Cafeteria:
Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want.
On the door of a Music Library:
Bach in a minuet.
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
Drive carefully, we'll wait.
In a Counselor's office:
Growing old is mandatory. Growing wise is optional.