-Perverted Fairy Tales Characters

Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't 
let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother 
appears and promises to provide Cinderella with everything she needs 
to go to the ball, but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear 
a diaphragm." Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?" "You 
must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into 
a pumpkin." Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 a.m. The appointed 
hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00 
a.m., Cinderella shows up, looking love struck and "very" satisfied. 
"Where have you been?" demands the fairy godmother. "Your diaphragm 
was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!" "I met a 
prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything." I know of no 
prince with that kind of power! What was his name?" "I can't remember, 
exactly.. .Peter Peter, something or other...."  

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Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about 
splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to 
visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a 
little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away 
enlightened. A couple of weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing 
happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?" Pinocchio 
replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"

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Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods when suddenly 
the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a machete 
to her throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!" To 
that,  Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket 
and pulled out a. 44 magnum and pointed it at him and said, "No you're 
not! You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book!"

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Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were in divorce court and the judge 
said to Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy." Mickey 
replied, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's fucking Goofy."

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Snow White saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran 
up behind him, knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on his 
face crying, "Lie to me! Lie to me!"