Our heartiest congratulations to these fervent young neophytes. Attention, world: these are your future leaders. Your future congressmen. Your future C.E.O. In K.C.C. Veritas!

Click on a name to get a fun fact about him!

Ben Allen | Jeff Bower | Scott Loukes | Adam Goode | E.J. Hughes
Aaron Parcak | Alex Small

Ben Allen

Ben is world-renowned for his amazing Pez-dispenser collection, which includes the rare (and now banned) nude Marilyn Monroe dispenser.

Jeff Bower

Jeff smells like an animal. He has fur just like an animal. He has teeth, and he has claws. He's losing his hair like an animal in springtime. Bears enjoy honey. Jeff goes "oooh." Moo. Nay. Cluck. Ook. KAH!!! Animals.

Scott Loukes

You know how when you're sitting on the can in a public restroom and there's a guy in the stall next to you, sometimes he starts pretending that he's an eskimo and begins to play German drinking songs on a kazoo while doing a Swahili rain dance? Scott is usually the guy in the stall next to that guy.

Adam Goode

One day Adam got struck by lightning twice (in the same place, as amazing as it may seem). Since then, he thinks he's a telescope and is often seen asking people to look through him to see Jupiter.

E.J. Hughes

Every time E.J. goes to Dairy Queen to get an ice cream cake, he ends up getting mauled by an emu. And we have no idea why.

Aaron Parcak

Some of Aaron's past lives have included Walt Disney, Susan B. Anthony, The Marlboro Man and Aunt Jemima. Boy, he used to make some kick-ass fake maple syrup. That's probably why he had his face on a dollar coin and owns a multi-million dollar resort in Florida. But it doesn't really explain why he's facing a loss in all these tobacco settlements.

Alex Small

Last but not least (well, maybe least, we haven't checked yet), Alex. He led the unsuccessful revolution to change typewriter keyboards from the "QWERTY" system to the "ABCDEFG" system. Obviously, he didn't try very hard.

So, there you have it, proof that KCC is not only in good hands now, but ever shall be.

-Home-