Q) Whats a blondes mating call?
A) "I'm so drunk"!

Q) Whats a brunettes mating call?
A) "Has the damn blonde left yet?"

Q) What is the difference between Rush Limbaugh and God?
A) God doesnt think he is Rush Limbaugh!

Q) What did one titty say to the other titty?
A) "If we sag any lower people are going to think we are nuts!"

Q) How do you know you are stoned?
A) When you are eating on the way home, thinking about what you are going to eat when you get there!

At a debate for the presidential election, a reporter asked the canidates to use the word "ear" in a sentence. Bob Dole:"In Bob Dole's home of state, we grow many ears of corn." Ross Perot:"Are you making fun of my ears?" Bill Clinton:"Puff,puff,'ear ya go."

The worst foursome in golf: O.J. Simpson, Heidi Fleiss, Ted Kennedy and Greg Louganis. Why are they the worst? Well, O.J. slices....Fleiss hooks....Kennedy drives everything into the water, and Louganis doesn't know which hole to put it in!

One day Mickey Mouse decides to divorce his wife Minnie, so he calls up his lawyer to explain the details of the situation to him. After listening to him the lawyer said, "I'm sorry Mickey, but you can't divorce your wife Minnie just because you think she's a bit strange." Mickey replies, "No, you misunderstood me, I didn't say she was strange, I said she was FuKing Goofy!"

5 Things Wrong With The Penis!...
1.Has a hole in the head
2.Has a ring around the collar
3.Hangs out with a couple of nuts
4.Sleeps next to an as$hole
5.When it gets excited it throws up and dies

A guy goes over to his friends house, rings the bell, the wife answers. " Hi is Tony home?" " No he went to the store." "Well, you mind if I wait?" " No come in." They sit down and the friend says "You know Nora, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one." Nora thinks about this for a second an figures what the hell - a hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly thanks her and throws a 100 bucks on the table. They sit there a while longer and Chris says "They are so beautiful I got to see the both of them. I'll give you another 100 bucks if I could just see the both of them together." Nora thinks about this and says what the hell opens her robe and gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her and throws another 100 bucks on the table then says he can't wait any longer for Tony and leaves. A while later Tony arrives home and his wife says "You know your weird friend Chris came over. " Tony thinks about this for a second and says "Well did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?"