You Know You're A Yankee If ...

        You know how to tell if you are a Redneck.
        Well, here are a few ways to find out if ya'll are Yankees.
        *SMILE*

        You know you're a Yankee if ...

        • You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.

        • You've never used baling wire to hold parts on to your car.(The muffler, the license plate ...)

        • You've never eaten okra.

        • You've never eaten catfish.

        • You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.

        • You have no idea what a polecat is.

        • You would rather have your son become a lawyer then grow up to get his own TV fishin show.

        • You think more money should go to important scientific reasearch at your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.

        • You don't know what a moon pie is.

        • You've never had a brisquet cooked on a grill. (It's for more than corned beef and cabbage)

        • You don't have any hats in you closet that advertise feed stores.

        • You think "Greater Tuna" is a really big tuna.

        • You think a cowboy poet is a football player who recites poetry.

        • You call binoculars opera glasses.

        • You can't spit out the window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping.

        • You would never wear a pink or applique sweatshirt.

        • You don't know what applique is.

        • You can't do your laundry without quarters.

        • None of your furcoats are homemade.

        • The last time you smiled was when you prevented someone from getting on an on-ramp on the highway.

        • You don't have doilies and you certainly don't know how to make them.

        • You've never been to to a craft show.

        • You don't salute when you meet a Texas A&M graduate.

        • You think stockyards are where the stockbrokers's offices are.

        • You think peanuts are livestock feed.

        • You got to a stock show, but are disappointed because you don't find any brokers there.

        • You think "trailer park trash" are those shifty types that don't have RVs, but pitch tents at KOA Campgrounds.

        • You think perch are something your canary sits on.

        • You think a bass tournament is a barber-shop quartet competition.

        • You drive a pick-up without a gun rack or a Rebel flag decal.

        • You drive a pick-up without a dog hanging out of the window or pick-up bed.

        • You've never been to Six Flags.

        • You've never been arrested for stealing a goat and barbequing it.

        • You've never robbed someone elses trot lines.

        • You don't know what a Goat Roper is.

        • You think tack is used to hold a poster up on the wall.

        • You think a saddle horn is for honking at other riders.

        • You've never heard of a "donkey barbeque". Usually hosted by ones boss.

        • When you hear someone say "those dogs are tearin up jack" you expect to see the dogs attacking a someone named Jack.

        And last but not least, You Know You're A Yankee if ...
        None of this page made any sence to you at all.
        The idea for this page was borrowed from Leland DeBusk and Kathy Smith, of the Hood County News.