The North Side

Where Moss Grows in Abundance Written, Published, Copyrighted and Edited by: The Voice.

"NO PROVOCATIONS WITHOUT REVENGE"

Story: Dress Code Sucks!!

Why do we have a dress code? The Voice doesn't know. And the Voice doesn't care about the dress code anyway. Neither, for that matter, does anyone except for Agent M. The Voice knows that other teachers have been enforcing it, but the Voice knows they don't really want to; Agent M has forced them into complying with it. But lets get back to the main question: why do we have a dress code? The Voice knows the official reasons why Agent M has given us a dress code. Stop hidden weapons. And I know the collection of those items was pretty large. But have they ever been used? I doubt it. The Voice can not recall very many incidents of any kind of violence in Deal and can not remember any serious ones. Besides, will anyone who does not care about bringing knifed brass knuckles to school care about a dress code? I doubt it. The Voice doesn't care about the dress code and the Voice doesn't even bring weapons to school. Unless, that is, Agent M and the Evil Empire finds out the Voice's alter ego. That might be a different situation.

And besides, does a dress code really help in the confiscation of weapons? Maybe for a gun; but Agent M himself admitted those are rare, even in D.C.P.S. I don't think it will help for a Swiss Army Knife, or a switchblade, or brass knuckles, or those martial-arts things. No, the Voice does not accept the official explanation. That is why the Voice is very proud to bring you: the conspiracy behind the dress code!

Agent M has not demonstrated in the past any deep concerns for student morale. Otherwise Agent Bald Eagle would still be unemployed. No, the real reason we have a dress code must be to destroy our morale. That is why the dress code is exactly against every current fashion trend. Yep, I figure Agent M's real motive is to prepare for the invasion of creatures from his home planet, whatever planet that might be (the Voice does not believe it can be closer than Saturn). Agent M might also be preparing for the invasion of far right Republicans seeking to "help youth" by making us pray in school and giving us uniforms and putting us in solitary confinement for talking to each other (because we could be planning drug transactions). It should be noted that the Voice has not yet conclusively determined that these are readily distinguishable from one another.

Thus the Voice has decided to form a Resistance of people who do not want their home planet overrun and have a lot of free time. The Resistance's one and only rule will be to pull OUT your shirts when they can get away with it. Be All That You Can Be! Join the Resistance!

Handy pocket ID (clip n' save):

Member of the

RESISTANCE to

DIVISION 13, D.C.P.S.

DIVISION OF SECURITY AND STUDENT COMPLIANCE

51st OFFICE: ALICE DEAL JUNIOR HIGH