The North Side

Where Moss Grows in Abundance Written, edited, produced and copyrighted by the Voice

"No Provocations Without Revenge"

Story: Down with Agenta G

My compatriots, it is time for action to be taken. Agenta G has overstepped the boundaries of common sense and into the world of lunacy. Agenta G has no sense of numbers. "There should not be a lot of noise" was an actual quote from Agenta G. That is a normal thing for a teacher to say. What is not normal was the fact that she had, less than two minutes ago, told 38 students to talk. Even Agent Bald Eagle has a better grasp of numbers than that!!

Listen, Agenta, and listen good: A LOT OF PEOPLE = A LOT OF NOISE. I realize this is an advanced concept, but try your best to grasp it. The Voice has seen a good friend detained because of your inability to reason effectively. The Voice himself was interrogated at length after he dared to point out your futile grasp of numbers. When you said, and the Voice is quoting, "Span*sh 1 does not talk when you are talking, so you should not talk when they are talking." Agenta, agenta: there are TWO people in Span*sh 1. There are THIRTY EIGHT in Span*sh 2. So when 38 kids have nothing to do, they talk. When the Voice pointed this out, you got angry. The Voice respectfully declined to say what the Voice's comments were, because he knew that you would be less than happy to hear them. Nonetheless, you demanded to, and eventually decided to remove me and interrogate me personally and privately. You had many basic points, which the Voice will sum up in the order and frequency which you said them:

1) The Voice should "say things like a man in front of the class."

2) Agenta G has no problems with sending the Voice down to Agent M.

3) If the Voice thinks Agenta G does not want to hear what the Voice has to say, the Voice should not say it.

4) Agenta G has a problem with the Voice's attitude.

5) Agenta G has no problems with sending the Voice down to Agent M.

6) Agenta G has no problems with calling the parents of the Voice.

7) Agenta G does not like the Voice's attitude.

8) If the Voice does not want Agenta G to hear something that the Voice wants to say, the Voice should not say it.

9) Agenta G has no problems with sending the Voice down to Agent M.....

and so on. I should point out, Agenta G, that you are the one that wanted to hear what the Voice had to say, not me. The Voice does not particularly like your attitude anyway, especially when it comes to holding the Voice and his fellow classmates after class. Four seconds for thirty eight steadily talking people to shut up? Even you, Agenta G, must have the brains to concede this is next to impossible, especially since Agenta G has reverted to a silent system of counting.

If the Voice were to intrude upon a faculty meeting where everyone was talking, would the teachers be able to shut up in four seconds? No. It is an unrealistic and impossible dream, like

running a one minute mile or Agent Bald Eagle having hair again. We would need to be bionic machines to be able to stop talking in four seconds flat. Now, the Voice realizes that it is very possible Agenta G is a bionic machine, but that is irrelevant, because we are not. Now, the Voice and the Voice's friend have already tried peaceful and logical reasoning, which did not work. Thus, the Voice must recommend the only remaining alternative that would end this conflict. A solution that is easy to pronounce because it is only three words and eight syllables.

Tactical Nuclear Weapons.