The Following statements are not my opinions they are only
the opinions of someone named the Commissioner.

Well, okay, so I guess my whining about being the
only person in my office who hadn't seen
BASEketball yet worked, because the people at
the studio finally relented and got me into the
movie. (However, I did have to stand in line, which
is okay except that the line was pretty long.)

Anyway, since I am, after all, Commissioner of the
National BASEketball League, I felt it was time I
finally saw the movie. And now I have.

All I can say is...Yipes!!!

This is what they did to our beloved sport!! Not that
it wasn't accurate, mind you. Just that I am
stunned that any movie studio would get away with
this.

I mean, I mean...well, this is how shall I put
this?¾ this is one heck of a crude movie. However,
I must admit that it is probably the funniest movie I
have ever seen.

But crude.

Oh, my god. The words to describe it that come to
and are...oh...disgusting, tasteless and did I
say, crude?

For instance, there's the scene when our sport’s
two inventors, Coop and Remer (played with>br> surprising flair and wit, I might add, by South Park
creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone, who are
starring in their first¾and, I dare say, not their
last¾ big Hollywood movie ) go into the bedroom of
this girl that Remer "likes" and¾well, I can't tell
you what goes on there, because my mother will
probably be reading this.

And I won't even begin to describe the scene
between Coop and Remer during the Seventh
Inning Extravaganza after they fall into the volcano.
(Yes, it's true.) Let's put it this way: I have never
seen a scene like that in a movie. Ever. I mean,
ever. And I see over 14 movies a year!

The thing is, I don't think I've ever seen a movie like
this. What director David Zucker and the
South Park guys have done just absolutely
stuns me. If you watch the TV show and think it can be
rough...well, let me just say you have seen nothing
until you see BASEketball. This is really
twisted…stuff I never thought I'd see, at least not in
public.

Like the scene in the locker room with Coop and
Remer and Jenna, who's played by Yasmine
Bleeth. How they got the actors to agree to that is
beyond me. But I guess that's why they're actors.

(Speaking of which, Yasmine Bleeth and Jenny
McCarthy are great. And they look even better. And
peaking of looks, how about those cheerleader
uniforms?¾straight out of a Frederick’s of
Hollywood catalogue! I thought I was going to faint.
And I don't faint easily. Maybe only once or twice a
year.)

My secretary Joanne spends a lot of time on the
Internet (when she should be working¾hint, if she's
reading this), and she showed me what some
people said, who'd seen the movie at test
screenings. I'm glad to say that I'm not alone in my
reaction.

One guy described the movie as "'Jam it down your
throat until you laugh humor." Someone else said it
was "the funniest g*****ed* movie I've seen this
decade."

And then in our office, Mary (who is played by
Jenny McCarthy in the movie, so she's been
preening all week) showed me a copy of Premiere
magazine that she subscribes to. And the guy who
wrote the article said that BASEketball is "perhaps
the millenium's most awesome display of
sophomoric humor¾a movie that will leave theaters
across the country smelling really funky, because
audiences will have invariably pissed themselves
laughing."

I can speak from first-hand experience to say that this is true, I'm embarrassed to admit. But that's
beside the point.

Anyway, I just want to let you know that the wait
was worth it. My beloved sport finally has its movie,
and it is everything I hoped it would be¾still, I am
truly amazed they were able to get away with it!
I guess it just goes to show that some people will
stop at nothing to get a laugh.

It's me again. That was from some guy but it's real through, so
there you go.

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