Phife & Animal #2
“Two Guys Walk Into a Club”
by Stephen Warren


Stephen “Party Animal” Warren stood about six and half feet tall now, opposed to his old six feet. He appeared to be a normal tall seventeen year old, despite the fact that he had white wings that were big and elegant and what appeared to razor sharp claws on his hands and feet. Jeff “Phife” Brunell appeared as he almost always did. Standing five feet ten inches, while weighing a hundred and sixty pounds. However, Jeff’s skin had appeared to have become much harder and resilient. This change had come over the two almost instantiously, and only the past few painful moments.

Jeff, always the king of understatement had just given his assessment of the situation.

“‘Shit?’ That’s all you can say?” Stephen asked.

“What else is there to say? Something damn odd is going on here.”

“I’d say so, I’ve grown wings and an extra six inches!” Stephen yelled, he immediately cupped his hands around his ears, “And my senses have been enhanced. Not such a good thing.” He slowly removed his hands, showing blood.

“What is going on?” Jeff asked.

“I don’t know. Let’s just get out of here.”

“How are you gonna hide those things?” Jeff grabbed his coat and put it on. “It wouldn’t be wise to have them seen.” Stephen looked at his wings and claws.

“Well, you got any clothes I can borrow?” Stephen asked. Jeff walked over to the closet, and picked out some clothes one of his other friend’s left.

“Marc left these over here, they’d probably fit you.” Jeff gave a glance at the heap of clothes he held in his hands. “Good thing he likes baggy clothes,” he laughed. Stephen slipped into the loose clothes, and was amazed that they fit him quite well. With his wings folded one could hardly tell that they were there. Slipping some gloves and socks on, he noticed that his claws were also well hidden. He put on some of Jeff’s old shoes.

“Ah you look great, let’s go.” And with that they left the house.


----

Whitney Reynolds, Audra Tudor, Kelly Jones, and Nicole Baker had been at Guido’s for almost an hour. The pizza was horrible and the beer they had managed to sneak in was burning their throats. But the band, Obscure, which was playing was one of the best they’d ever heard.

“So, Whit, what’s up with you and Tommy?” Audra asked, raising an eyebrow in her slyly suggestive manner.

“Nothing. Nothing was, is, or ever will be going on with me and Tommy,” Whitney responded quickly.

“Why? What happened?” Nicole inquired.

“He fooled around with Anna Miller two days ago,” Whitney said, taking another gulp of the putrid beer.

“Sarah’s sister?” Kelly asked.

“Yep,” she sighed.

“How? She’s like twelve.” Nicole asked, she still felt unable to fathom such an event.

A grin came over Audra’s face. “What do you mean how? You don’t have to be ancient to know how to fool around. And it’s not like she’s an all innocent fourteen year old. Didn’t she have sex with Dave LaRoche on that school trip to that wilderness camp?”

“Didn’t everyone on that trip, other than me, sleep with him?” Whitney asked.

“Not I,” Audra responded.

“I didn't go, I was sick,” Nicole replied.

“I bet you wish you weren’t,” Audra teased.

“No comment,” Kelly answered, looking over her shoulder.

“Gross, he’s like twelve.” Nicole accused.

“Yeah? How old were you when you had that crush on Bobby Lane?” Kelly responded.

“Hey, there is nothing wrong with the older guy,” Nicole defended herself.

They all took a sip from their drinks. A man by the name of Jonathon James, or as he was called Jay-Jay, walked by. Noticing three available women sitting at table by themselves, he quickly waddled over to them.

“’Lo, ladiesss,” Jonathon asked, his lisp carrying his s’s out way too far.

“Hey, Jay-Jay,” Whitney said effortlessly.

“What do you want Jay-Jay?” Nicole asked.

“Nutin’, I wasss jussst wonderin’ what you galsss were up to?”

“Having a private discussion, Jay-Jay,” Nicole said.

“’Bout what?”

“Private things.”

“Sssuch asss?” Jay-Jay asked.

“PMS,” Audra shot in, not seeing any other way out of the dread idea of including Jay-Jay in their conversation.

“Ah’ll see ya gals later then.” With that Jay-Jay got up and walked off. The girls waited until Jay-Jay latched himself upon some other unsuspecting group of women before resuming their conversation.

“I worry about him sometimes.” Nicole stated.

“Only sometimes?” Whitney asked.

“Well, the other times I am afraid of him,” Nicole replied.

“So, if Tommy is out of the picture, who you got eyes for?” Audra asked.

“Nobody.” The girls just stared at her. “Must I always be head over heels in love with someone?”

“No, but you usually are anyway,” Audra corrected him.

“Well, there is someone I got my eye on....”

“Of course!” Audra shouted. “Who?”

“I don’t know if I should tell...”

“You must spill. If you don’t, you will die!” Nicole threatened. Both Audra and Nicole turned so that they were facing Whitney more. Whitney looked from one friend to the other, before downing the rest of her bitter beer. She pulled out a small bottle of Smirnoff and poured it into her glass.

“Nope, sorry, not gonna do it.”

“Oh, you got to.” Nicole pleaded. Whitney pondered it for a moment.

“Why don’t you tell me who you guys like?” Whitney asked.

“Anna Thurman,” Kelly answered.

“Jeremy Amos,” Audra responded.

“Matt Stone,” Nicole blushed.

“Matt Stone?” Audra and Kelly seemed to ask in unison.

“Yeah, well, he’s cute, in that boyish way.”

“Yeah, if you don’t mind the fact that he looks like a crack fiend.” Audra joked.

“He does not,” Nicole defended.

“You’re right, he looks like he’s a crack baby!” Kelly inserted.

“He does not! Stop saying that,” she pleaded. “He’s not that bad.”

“Yeah, he really isn’t,” Audra said apologetically. “But, he is perm-a-fried.”

“Yeah, he shouldn’t do as many drugs as he does.” Kelly pointed out.

“I know he’s far from perfect, but he is funny. He always makes me laugh, and he is very cute,” Nicole said.

The door opened, Jeff and Stephen walked in. Audra whistled, making the other girls curious enough to turn around. Catching a glimpse of the two guys who were making the halfway through the club before sitting down among a small group of people.

“Who are those guys?” Nicole asked.

“I don’t know, but did you see the tall one? He is one fine looking mother,” Audra said.

“The shorter one is Jeff Brunell,” Whitney added. “Remember, we saw him earlier today.”

“Yeah, he’s cute, too,” Audra added. At the guys table, loud laughter could be heard.

“Well, if they’re so cute, why don’t you go talk to them?” Whitney asked.

“I think I will.” Audra stood up and started the walk towards the middle of the club.


----

Stephen and Jeff were walking down the streets of the “Inner City” as it was called. The Inner City was where all the best places for teenager to twenty-something’s to go. It held clubs, strip joints, hidden brothels, not-so-hidden brothels, clothing stores, thrift shops, bars, coffee shops, everything.

Stephen heard the bum as he tried to quietly come up from behind. He assumed that it was a beggar wanting money, and had paid no attention to him. After all, he had only a few dollars, and he wouldn’t get paid for another week and a half. He just kept walking forward, as you learn to do in the city, without glancing around him.

The homeless man spoke up when the came to an alley.

“Excuse me, gentlemen!” He shouted, Stephen winced at the loud sound. “I was wondering if you could help a brother out.” Jeff and Stephen stopped and turned around, facing the man. Jeff fumbled through his wallet, pulled out a few small bills and held them out to the man, who looked at them with what appeared to be a small bit of disgust.

The hands caught them by surprise, they seemed to leap from the darkness of the alley, pulling them in. Jeff was thrown against the wall, and a knife thrust into his belly. Stephen landed on the ground hard, knocking the wind out of him.

A man stuck his hand into Jeff’s jacket feeling around for a wallet.

“Stop,” Jeff managed to whisper. At this the blade in his stomach began turning. Jeff’s insides felt as if they were on fire, burning with intense pain.

Based on instinct, Jeff tightened his stomach muscles, and tried to lean to the left. The small noise of the knife scratching him was almost infinitesimal to Jeff.

Stephen’s wings ached with pain. A large man had gotten on top of him, pinning him to the ground and crushing him at the same time. Thrusting a claw into the large man’s love handles and then pulling with all of his might, Stephen yanked the fat man off of him.

The fat man was cussing and holding his bleeding side as Stephen stood up. Another two hands wrapped around Stephen’s neck as two arms went around his stomach.

“Be careful, he’s got a knife!” One of the men behind him yelled. A sly grin crossed Stephen’s face. He dug his claws into the man’s hands which were tightly wrapped around his neck. A tiny whelp comes out of the man and he lets go.

Stephen grabbed the man’s arms which were wrapped around his waist and forced them free. Quickly, he let the man’s arms go and turned around to face his attacker. Frozen in fear, the man stared at Stephen. With the advantage he had, Stephen punched the man in the face, knocking him two and a half feet back and unconscious.

Jeff was on the ground, when he felt the pain disappear. He leapt to his feet and stared at his assailant. He was a dark and dingy man, with a dull six inch blade in his hand. Two bright streaks of life, and Jeff felt the blade fly across his skin. The first one across his right cheek, drawing blood. The second across his chest drew only sparks. Both Jeff and his opponent stared in disbelief at Jeff’s chest.

The assailant attempted to jam the blade in Jeff’s belly once again, this time chipping the blade. Jeff quickly wrapped his hands into fists and punched the man in the face. Blood oozed from his nose, as the man struck into Jeff’s stomach with his fist and then followed with a punch to the face. The first strike struck home, but Jeff managed to duck under the second blow. He threw a counter-punch into the man’s face. From the force of the blow, the man spun around on his heels and feel to the ground unconscious.

Jeff and Stephen looked at each, before breathing deeply and then running like hell out of that alley.

They stopped running about six or seven blocks from the alley. They realized that neither one of them was out of breath.

“What the hell just happened?” Jeff asked.

“I don’t know, but I liked it,” Stephen responded.

“You’re some kind of weird guy with wings and claws and fangs. And I got some messed up healing thing going on!” Jeff shrieked half-deliriously. Stephen reached out and grabbed Jeff’s arms.

“Calm down, man.” Jeff stopped moving and began taking deep breaths. “Now, I don’t know why your dad’s stuff reacted with us the way it did, but it did. And that’s it, that’s all we need to know about that. Yes, it appears that you and I are both...” Stephen paused, trying to find the right word.

“Marvels,” Jeff whispered. Stephen’s eyes opened as he realized that Jeff was right. They were Marvels, one of those gifted with extra-ordinary abilities.

“But, the question to focus on now, is what we do now,” Stephen asked, clearing his mind of the awesome nature of him becoming a Marvel.

“I don’t know what we do,” Jeff responded, still shocked by what just happened.

“Can’t you see? This is our chance to be super-heroes! Imagine us with the greats! Spider-Man, Batman, the Dragon, the X-Men, the Justice League! Fighting off evil! Man, it’s gonna be sweet!” Stephen said, overjoyed at the thought of being someone famous.

“I don’t know,” Jeff responded cautiously. “It’s all happening so fast. I need some time to clear my head.”

“Let’s go to Guido’s and see who’s there?"

“That sounds good.”


----

Once they reached Guido’s they ducked inside and began looking for friends. Marc Renton and Erik Oldman were the friends they found.

Marc sat there in his baggy clothes, sipping on a beer. He stood tall at a little over six feet, but he kept in good shape. He was another high school drop-out, same as Jeff, who also worked at Mega Videos to earn some money. But, unlike Jeff, Marc had thrown off the parental shackles and moved into his own apartment. Unfortunately, his lease was almost over and he wasn’t earning top dollar at the video store.

Erik Oldman was a High School Freshman, who watched more movies then God intended anyone to watch. That’s how both Marc and Jeff met him. Despite his young age, a mere fifteen, he had wisdom beyond his years and is always the cool head in any situation.

The boys sat down next to their friends.

“How you guys doing?” Erik asked.

“Some people just tried to mug us a few minutes ago,” Jeff replied.

“Yeah, it was pretty intense,” Stephen added.

“You guys alright?” Marc asked. Then after a slight pause. “Are you wearing my clothes?”

“Yeah." This time it was Stephen who took the pause. "You’re just the king of the obvious aren’t you?” Stephen responded.

“What you mean?” Marc asked.

“I’ve also grown a good six inches,” Stephen clarified.

“Hmm. I just thought that you had lost some weight or something,” Marc replied. He squinted for a moment at Stephen. “Yeah, you are taller.” Another pause. “Have you been working out?”

“I kn

ow you two haven’t seen me for a few weeks, but I mean I thought you guys would notice my change better than this,” Stephen said.

“What change?” Erik asked.

Stephen looked around him before leaning closer.

“I’ve... we’ve become super-heroes.” At this, both Erik and Marc laughed. “I’m serious. Jeff and I...” Stephen stopped talked as he heard someone approaching. He turned around to see a beautiful girl, Audra, standing there.

There were a few moments of silence as she just stood there, her eyes going from one guy to the next before she finally spoke.

“Yes?” Marc finally uttered.

“Well, you see, I’m Audra.”

“Yeah, we know,” Stephen interjected.

“You do?” She asked.

“Yeah, I go to your school.”

“Oh, really? What grade?”

“Senior, same as you.”

“Really? I don’t remember meeting you, and I think I would remember that kind of thing,” she giggled. “I was just sitting with my friends over there,” she stopped and pointed to the group of her friends. “When I say you guys come in. And I was just wondering if you might want to have a drink or something?”

Stephen’s eyes widen and his jaw slacked open a little.

“Sure.”

“I didn’t catch your name, though,” Audra hinted.

“Oh, please forgive me. My name’s Stephen.” He stuck out his hand, which she grabbed and shook. Stephen stood up, standing only about three inches over Audra. “Would you like to go for a walk?” Stephen asked. “It’s wonderful outside.”

“Sure,” Audra replied, a small grin crossing her face. “Just let me go get my bag.” She quickly turned and ran towards her table to retrive her bag and jacket. While Stephen turned to his friends.

“I’m gonna like being a super-hero,” Stephen said with a grin.