Jeff “Phife” Brunell sat in the badly lit pizza joint. Jeff leaned back and enjoyed the music which was playing. Good music was one of Guido’s only redeeming factors. The pizza tasted like cardboard and they overcharged for their watered down cokes.

Jeff looked over and saw Whitney sitting at that table where Audra was recently. He stood up and prepared himself to talk to his dream girl. He quickly walked around his chair and table and was soon on his way. He was strutting to the table when Whitney looked over and saw him. As soon as she looked over, he flashed her a quick grin.

He immediately found himself caught in her gaze. Her goldish-green eyes enchanting him with their magick. He was so distracted by her stare that he failed to see the waitress walking with a full tray full of cokes.

The two collided and Jeff fell down on the floor, covered in the syrupy water. Jeff leapt to his feet and tried to run out the door. The liquid under his feet, however, prevented him from going anywhere but down. His jaw smacked across the ground with a loud thud.

“That’s it,” he thought to himself. “I’m staying on the ground.”

He was still laying face-down when Whitney made it over to him. She rolled him over on to his back, checked his body for fractures and the like. Jeff only found himself able to stare at her.

Stephen and Audra had been walking down the alley for only a few minutes before Audra pinned to him a wall and started kissing him. He immediately returned the kisses and even managed to roll over so that it was she who was pinned.

He leaned forward to kiss her, she wrapped her arms behind him and pulled him closer to her. He felt her hands moving along the arch of his back, her nails digging through his baggy T-shirt.

Her hands started to move up the small of his back and towards his shoulders. About that time Stephen remembered the fact that he had both a prehensile tail and two large white wings on his back. Quickly grabbing her wrists, he managed to force them to his chest, where she resumed her scratching and rubbing.

“Yep,” Stephen thought to himself, “I’m gonna like being a super-hero.”

The villianess known as Static Cling was once a happy house wife. She would cook and clean. She would never complain about her husband’s drinking problem or how he had numerous affairs. She had her bridge club and her weekly Tupperware parties. And those nice Jehovah’s Witness would always come by and see her, or at least they did until she started talking to one.

She used to be Barbara Cash. She used to have a husband. She used to be a mother to three ungrateful brats. She had two cats, and it would be the cats which changed her life.

One day, Barbara was putting her children’s clothing in the dryer when the two cats leapt in. She shut the door, and the cats were killed by the dryer. Yet, even though the souls didn’t inhabit the bodies, their fur became ripe with static electricity. When Barbara opened the door and saw her beloved pets dead, she immediately pulled their carcasses out of the dryer and held their soft furry bodies close to her face.

It was then that all the static electricity that the cats had collected filled Barbara’s essence. Finally, she pulled the cats away from her. However, the magnetic attraction was too much, and the cats flew against Barbara. She tried to remove the two dead cats again, but to no avail. They were permanently attached.

She was filled with a new energy and having two cat carcasses on her forced her sanity to question itself. Somewhere deep inside of Barbara Cash, her mental stability snapped like a frail twig. She adopted the name “Static Cling.” She figured since she was starting her life over again that she needed some money.

Jeff’s head hurt. Even though he was wearing sun glasses and squinting, the sun was way too bright for him. Stephen, who was standing right next to him in line, was being way too loud. Jeff also thought that everyone in the bank line was moving too slow.

“So, do you know what she did?” Stephen asked, the grin now a permanent feature on his face. He paused, as if waiting for some kind of response from Jeff. If he expected one, then he was disappointed, for he received none. “Well, she invites me to her place, right. And then she tells me that her parents are out of town for the next week.” Then, we go upstairs, and one thing leads to another, and we’re both naked. Only, I’d forgotten about my recent... changes.

“So, I’m standing there with my pants around my ankles, these two white wings on my back and a prehensile tail that looks like it’s coming out of my ass. And I’m thinking, ‘Oh shit, I fucked up.’ When she just stares for a moment, then she gets this lustful look in her eyes.

“Man, we did stuff I didn’t was possible.” Jeff took off his glasses and looked Stephen in the eye. “Like, she took my tail and she put it...”

“I don’t want to hear about it,” Jeff interrupted. said and returned his glasses to their sitting position on his face.

“You’re just upset because you made a fool of yourself in front of Whitney.”

“Shut up,” Jeff replied lovingly.

“Look, it’s not my fault that you slipped and nearly busted your ass. And you definitely shouldn’t have decided to use that as an excuse to go on a bender. You deserve the hang over you got.”

Jeff exposed his lovely middle finger to his friend. Stephen pushed the obscene gesture out of the way.

“Look, it’s gonna be alright. You’re a super-hero, no woman in her right mind would turn you down!” Stephen shouted, attracting everyone around them gaze.

“Stephen, be quiet!” Jeff said forcefully. “Look, I am not a super-hero and I don’t want to be one.”

“Of course you’re a super-hero, why else do you have powers?”

“Hey, I can be a normal guy with super-powers.”

“You were blessed with a gift, you’re required to use it to fight for those who can’t!”

“What gift? I heal really fast, what good is that? So I can run up to a villain and let him beat the crap out of me, then take him out when he’s tired?”

“It worked for Mohammed Ali.”

“I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear that.”

“Look, you are an super-powered man, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Then you’re super, right?”

“I guess.”

“Then are you a good or a bad guy?”

“I’m a good guy.”

“And another word for good guy is hero, so how are you a not super-hero?”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

“No need to get pissy just because you were wrong.”

“I am not wrong. I just don’t want to argue while I’m hung over.”

“Oh, so now you’re hiding behind the hang over?” Jeff and Stephen were still arguing when Static Cling entered the bank.

Static Cling appeared like an normal housewife, with the exception of the two cats attached to her stomach, the assortment of socks which were stuck on her back, and her short hair which was standing on end.

When she entered the bank guard, an old man who appeared so old that he might have known Moses on a first name basis, nodded at her and placed his hand on his night stick.

Static Cling walked into the bank, looked around her, and then shouted at the top of her lungs.

“GIVE ME ALL OF YOUR MONEY!” Everyone turned around and glanced at her, then returned to what they were doing. “RIGHT NOW!” She added, hoping that would entice them to hurry up.

The bank guard took a step forward, drawing his trusty night stick and held it up. Static Cling pulled off a red sock from her back and held it in her hand. The bank guard walked over to her, and swung the stick. He struck her in the back of the neck with all of the force of a month old child.

She tossed the sock into his face, where it immediately attached itself. The guard tried to remove the sock, but found himself unable to do so. Static Cling laughed at his futile attempts.

“That sock is charged with my clinging power, it will never come off!” She laughed. “Now, everyone drop to the ground!” She tore off another sock and held it up menacingly. Then, as if everyone’s legs just gave out, they all dropped to the floor.

“Now,” she said, looking at the cashiers. “Why don’t you little lovelies empty your drawers and put the money in bag?” The clerks hurriedly started cleaning out their registers and placing all the money in bags.

Jeff and Stephen were laying on the ground next to each other. Stephen crawled a little closer to Jeff before he started whispering to his friend.

“Are you gonna let this woman steal all of this money?” He asked. “Or, are you gonna help me stop her?” Jeff just looked at Stephen for a moment.

“I can’t. It’s not my job to try and stop her.”

“What if some more people get hurt?”

“What? By sock woman?”

“Hey, look at that security guard. Does he look like he’s enjoying this?” Jeff looked over to the fallen security guard. He had since passed out and was laying on the floor. A small trickle of blood was oozing out of his nose.

“No, he doesn’t.”

“Then help me. C’mon, you know you want to. This can be the chance for greatness we’ve always talked about. You can prove to everyone that you’re not the worthless asshole that people think you are.”

“People think I’m a worthless asshole?”

“Yeah, some people.”

“Who?”

“That’s not the point. The point is, you can finally make something of yourself. Now, are you with me?”

Jeff looked his friend in the eyes and found himself unable to answer. The hang-over was still riding Jeff’s brain fairly hard, ensuring that his head was pounding and that his vision was delicate to the light. After a moment’s pause, he shook his head no. Stephen looked sadly at his friend.

Stephen wiggled out of his loose jacket. He emptied his pockets of change and of his wallet.

“If something happens to me, feed my dog.”

With that Stephen leapt to his feet. Static Cling quickly turned around to face him.

“Lay back down,” Static Cling ordered.

“No,” Stephen countered.

“Boy, lay the fuck back down!” She barked.

Instead of sitting, Stephen instead leapt at Static Cling. She scoffed one foot across the ground and, with a pointed finger, fired a bolt of pure static electricity at Stephen. The bolt hit Stephen square in the chest, knocking the wind out of him. He fell to the ground, gasping for air.

Static Cling walked over to her fallen opponent and stood over him, hands on her hips.

“So, thought you could mess with me?” She asked, raising an eyebrow. Stephen brought his knees up to his chest, then kicked Static Cling in the gut. She grunted and took a few steps back.

Stephen leapt to his feet and tore of his T-shirt, exposing his glorious wings and well defined muscles. He stood at a ready position for a fight. Static Cling charged forward, throwing a fist aimed at Stephen’s jaw. It connected, although it hurt Static Cling’s hand more than Stephen’s jaw.

Recovering quickly, Stephen grabbed Static Cling’s right wrists.

“You know,” Stephen said, “the electric eel has the ability to release enormous amounts of electricity.” A warm feeling of electricity started at his heart and then shot its way to the surface. For a moment, Stephen appeared to glow from the amount of electricity that radiated from his skin.

Static Cling shook with the energy as her right wrist was jolted with electricity. After the electrical charge had run its course, Stephen let go of her right wrist. She immediately pounced forward, pulling a white sock off of her back with her left hand.

“Nice shock, but my body flows with electricity. So, you’re gonna have to do better than that!” She brought her fist around, placing the white sock over the bridge of his nose and covering his eyes.

Stephen screamed as the static worked its way through his system. It felt as if his nervous system was on fire, the pain coming in waves. Then, he felt another slap and then another. Static Cling was putting more socks on him.

After the fifth sock, Stephen fell to the ground. He had managed to claw off the first sock, so again he could see. However, the pain was still overwhelming. Tears had welled up in Stephen’s eyes, but he could still see as Jeff stood up.

He had managed to wrap a bandana around the top half of his face and had still had on his sunglasses so as to cover his eyes. Also he had slipped on the baggy jacket that Stephen had thrown off.

“Back woman or face the fury of Phife!”

“Phife? Never heard of ya!” Static Cling responded.

“Well, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Phife, the guy who’s gonna take you down if you don’t back off.” Phife said confidently. He took a step forward, trying to be as intimidating as possible. All it got him was a sock in the face.

The pain hit him like a brick in the face. He gritted his teeth and tried to endure the pain. Almost immediately the pain stopped and the sock fell, powerless, to the floor.

A strange energy overtook Jeff. He looked at his right hand, which was now glowing with energy, where the hair on his knuckles were standing on edge. He made a fist and quickly charged at Static Cling.

He punched her in the face, which sent her flying a foot back. He looked closer at her, and discovered she was unconscious.

He heard sirens approaching and decided to take that as a cue to leave. He ran over to Stephen, where he absorbed the energy off of the socks. After making sure his partner was alright, Phife freed the security guard.

“Well, the police can take over from here. C’mon, let’s go.”

Stephen shakily got to his feet and ran to the door.

“Remember, we’re Phife and Animal!” Stephen shouted to the crowd before ducking out the door.

Guido’s was its usual crowded noisy self. Jeff and Stephen were sitting across the way from each other. Stephen was taking sips of off his beer, which he was forced to have snuck in. While Jeff just sat, staring at the band.

“You loved it today, didn’t you?” Stephen asked.

“I enjoyed myself slightly.” Jeff responded, not taking his eyes off of the band.

“No, I saw that look in your eyes. You loved it.”

“So, what if I did?”

“Why don’t you want to become a super-hero with me?”

“Where do we get the stuff super-heros need?”

“Heroes don’t need anything, just their powers!” No reaction from Jeff. “And,” Stephen continued, “heroes always get the girl. Think of how impressed Whitney would be if you were a hero!”

Jeff finally shifted his gaze from the band to his friend. He would hate to admit it, but Stephen knew how to push his buttons.

“Okay. I’m in.”

“Good, good.” Stephen sipped his beer. “Hey, Jeff, I got a question for you.”

“Shoot.”

“If all you do is heal fast then how do you explain the thing with the glowing fist?” Stephen asked. Jeff crained his head as he thought about it.

“I don’t know. Maybe my power is more than just healing. I don’t know. I mean, how did you know you could shock someone?” Jeff asked, looking intently at his companion.

“I just did. I can do all sorts of things. I also know so much more about animals, it’s riduculous. And my body keeps on getting these odd urges...” Stephen trailed off.

“Urges?” Jeff asked intrigued. Stephen held up his hand to signal Jeff to be quiet. Stephen started sniffing the air. Underneath the stench of burnt pizza and cigarette smoke there was a familiar scent. Stephen took two more deep sniffs.

He couldn’t place what the smell was, nor where he had smelled it before. Then he looked up and saw her. Audra, that’s what that smell was. Stephen could smell Audra across the room. She was talking to her friends at her usual table.

“Excuse me, I’ve got to go see about one of those urges right now.” Stephen apologized.

Stephen stood up and walked over to their table.