What, am I going to do? I mean really. What? School ends on June 14th. After which, I am a "high schooler." And worse, I am a high schooler with no life.

I guess to understand, you'd need a little background. Sixth grade was an awesome year for me. I didn't realize it at the time, but it was so much fun. I have all these memories. Except half of those friends pretend they never knew me. And it hurts. Not so much, but yeah, a little. I remember, that at the end of sixth grade, I didn't want to go to Jr. High. But I wanted summer, and I wanted school to end. It got to the point where it dragged on. So I promised myself that last week, that I would go to school happy, even if I didn't come home that way. It wasn't a serious promise. But it worked. It was a miracle. That week was great. I cried on the last day of 6th grade. I mean, I'd done everything there for the last 7 years of my life. Me and my ex friend Michelle cried over everything. The last time we'd sit at the lunch table, the last time we'd sharpen a pencil, the teachers, the people we hated. Everything. And I'm glad we did. That last week sped by.

It's May 17th. And I don't get out of school til June 14th. That's a lot more than a week away. I can't stand the thought of school ending. It's my friends and my insecurities, I know. My friends are the best. If any of you are reading this, first, I'm gonna kill you. Second, I love you guys! Last year all my friends were in different classes. It majorly sucked. This year, I have the best friends. I don't know if half of them think that of me, but...I can't think of anything to finish this sentence. Anyway... High school is a big and scary place. With lots of people, and a few friends. I have my gym group, my French group, my science group. But next year it won't be that way. No matter how much I want it to be.

I see summer this year as an endless stretch of lazy days and seeing friends one at a time. It will suck. I bet my homepage will be updated every hour out of boredom. Unless of course, I am lucky enough to get a job at 14. Any ideas? On the last day of school, I will cry. It's coming so fast, I have a 3 day trip to Washington, one to Great Adventure, Promotion practice, finals, etc. I don't want to cry. I am such a happy person lately. I think I'm obsesssed with thinking about the same stuff. It's scary. Really..everyone wants to go to high school. So why don't I?

All I want to know is, are all teenagers this confused?


Forever Always,



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