Q. How do you brainwash a blonde?
A. Step on her douche bag.

Q. How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A. Tell her she's pregnant.

Q. What will her reply be?
A. Is it mine?

Q. What does a blonde think the last words of the national anthem are?
A. Play Ball!

Q.Whats the differance betwwen blondes & a savings bond?
A.A savings bond matures ..A blonde doesn't.

Q. Why did the blonde climb on the roof?
A. She was told the drinks are on the house.

Q.What does a blonde & a computer have in common?
A You dont appreciate either one until they go down on you.

Q. Whats the differance between a blonde & a bowling ball?
A. You can only put three fingers in a bowling ball.

Q. What do Blondes & turtles have in common?
A. Once they're on thier back, they're screwed.

Q. Why dont blondes like vibrators?
A. Because they hurt thier teeth.

Q.Whats the differance between a blonde & a mosquito?
A.When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.

Q. Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice can?
A. Because it said concentrate.

Q. What do you call a blonde standing on her head?
A. A brunette with bad breath.

Q. What do you call an intelligent blonde?
A. Very fortunate!

Q. What are the largest words in a blondes vocabulary?
A. AS~IF.

Q. Why dont many blondes smoke?
A. They dont understand the exhale part of it.

Q. Why did god give blondes long legs?
A. Have you seen the mess a snail makes?

Q.What do you call a blonde with a high I.Q.?
A.A golden retriever

Q. Why did they fire a blonde at the M & M's factory?
A. Because she was throwing away all the W's

Q. Why couldn't the blonde make kool~aid?
A. She couldn't figure out how to get the 2 quarts of water into the little packet.

Q. How do blondes braincells die?
A. Alone

Q. What is the first thing a blonde says after having sex?
A. So are all you guys on the same team?

Q. What do you call 10 blondes standing in a circle?
A. A dope ring.

Q. Why dont you give blondes a coffee break?
A. It takes to long to re-train them.

Q. Why aren't blondes good cattle herders?
A. They can't even keep thier 2 calves together!

Q. Why don't blondes eat banannas?
A. Because they can't find the zipper.

Q. What did the blondes right leg say to her left leg?
A. Nothing , they never met!

Q. Why did the blonde climb over the chain link fence?
A. To see what was on the other side!

Q. Why did the blonde call the welfare office?
A. She wanted to know how to cook food stamps

Q. How do you make a blondes eyes light up?
A. Shine a flashlight in her ears.

Q. How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A. There is white-out on the screen.

Q. Why do blondes eat watermelon with thier pants down?
A. To keep the flies off the watermelon.

Q. Why do blondes wear hoop earings?
A. So they have someplace to rest thier ankles.

Q. What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her look attractive?
A. Her ankles.

Q. Why do blondes wear underwear?
A. They make good ankle warmers.

Q. Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs?
A. More leg room.

Q. How do you change a blondes mind?
A. Buy her another beer.

Q. Why do blondes have more fun?
A. They amuse easier.

Q. What is the differance between a blonde & a 747?
A. Not everyone has been on a 747.

Q. Why do blondes take the pill?
A. So they know what day of the week it is.

Q. What is the differance between a Porsche & a blonde?
A. You dont lend a Porsche to your buddy.

Q. What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A. Change!

Q. What did the blondes mom say to her before her date?
A. If your not in bed by midnight...come home!

Q. What do blondes & cow patties have in common?
A. They are both easier to pick up with age.

Q. What is the differance between a blonde & the titanic?
A. They know how many went down on the titanic.

Q. Whats the differance between a blonde & a toothbrush?
A. You don't lend out your toothbrush.

Q. How did the blonde try to kill a bird?
A. By throwing it off a cliff.

Q. What do you say to a blonde with no arms or legs?
A. Nice tits!

Q. How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A. Write turn over on both sides of a piece of paper.

Q. What do you call a blonde skeleton in a closet?
A. Last years hide & seek champion.

Q. Whats the differance between a blonde & a toilet?
A. A toilet wont follow you around after you use it.

Q. How did the two blondes freeze to death at the drive in/
A. They went to see closed for the winter.

Q. What did the blonde say when she looked in a box of cheerios?
A. Oh look donut seeds.

Q. What do you call 4 blondes in a volkswagon?
A. Farfromthinkin.

Q. Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A. In case she locked her keys in the car.

Q. Why did the blonde tip-toe passed the medicine cabinet?
A. So she wouldn't wake the sleeping pills.

Q. What did the blonde name a pet zebra?
A. Spot.

Q. Why was the blonde upset when she got her drivers licence?
A. Because she got a "F" in sex.

Q. What do blondes & Condoms have in common?
A. They are both either on your dick or in your wallet.

Q. What do you give a blonde that has everything?
A. Pennicillian.

Q. What does a bleached blonde & a 747 have in common?
A. They both have little black boxes.

Q. What is a blondes idea of safe sex?
A. Locking the car doors.

Q. Why did the blonde snort nutra sweet?
A. She thought it was diet coke.

Q. What is the mating call of a blonde?
A. I am sooooooooo drunk.

Q. What does a UFO & a smart blonde have in common?
A. You hear alot about them but have you ever actually seen one?

Q. What do you get when you cross a blonde & a pitbull?
A. Your last blow job ever!

Q. How does a blonde hold her liquor?
A. By the ears.

Q. How do you know if a blonde is having a bad day?
A. Her tampon is behind her ear & she can't find her pencil.

Q. What do you call blondes in a snow storm?
A. Frosted flakes.

Q. What do blonde virgins eat?
A. Baby food.

Q. Why do blondes get confused in the bathroom?
A. Becouse they have to pull thier own pants down.

Q. What is the differance between a blonde & an ironing board?
A. It is difficult to open the legs on an ironing board.

Q. whats the differance between a counterfeit dollar & a skinny blonde?
A. one is a phoney buck.

Q. What is the differance betwwen a brick & a blonde?
A. When you lay a brick it doesn't follow you around for two weeks whining.

Q. How do you discribe the perfect blonde?
A. Three feet tall with a flat head to set your beer on.

Q. How do you confuse a blonde?
A. You don't, they are born that way.

Q. How is a blonde like a postage stamp?
A. You lick 'em, stick 'em, & send them on thier way.

Q. How can you tell if a fax is from a blonde?
A. It will have a stamp on it.

Q. Why do blondes like lightening?
A. They think someone is taking thier picture.

Q. Why do some blondes have square boobs?
A. They forgot to take the tissues out of the box.

Q. Why did the blonde write TGIF on her shoe?
A. To remind her the toe goes in first.

Q. Why don't blondes breast feed?
A. They don't want to burn thier nipples.

Q. Why do blondes like tilt steering?
A. More head room.

Q. What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
A. Her I.Q. goes up.

Q. What do you call a blonde in collage?
A. A tourist

Q. What do you call a fly buzzing around a blondes head?
A. Space Invader

Q. What is the differance between a pay phone & a blonde?
A. It cost 35 cents to use a pay phone.

Q. How does a blonde spell farm?
A. EIEIO!!!!

Q. Why cant blondes water-ski?
A. Becouse when they get thier crotch wet, they think they have to lay down.

Q. Why dont blondes like anal sex?
A. They dont like thier brains being screwed with!

Q. How is a blonde like a piano?
A. When they are not upright, They are grand.

Q. Why is a blondes coffin Y-shaped?
A. Because as soon as they are on thier back thier legs open.

Q. Why did the blonde take two hits of acid?
A. becouse she wanted to take a round trip!

Q. What is the differance between a smart blonde & Elvis.
A. Elvis has been sighted.

Q. What is the differance betwwen a blonde & a bitch?
A. A blonde will screw anyone & a bitch will screw anyone but you!

Q. What do you call a blonde with ESP & PMS?
A. A know it all bitch.

Q. Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
A. To keep them from bruising thier ears.

Q. Why do blondes wear tight skirts?
A. To keep thier legs together.

Q. How did the blonde break her legs raking leaves?
A. She fell out of the tree.

Q. Why dont blondes drink on the beach?
A. she dont wanna get sand in her Busch.

Q. What is the differance between a blonde & a shower?
A. A shower has to be turned on before it gets wet.

Q. What does a postcard from a blonde say?
A. having a wonderful time, where am I?

Q. What do you call a basement full of blondes?
A. A whine celler.

Q. What does a beer bottle & a blonde have in common?
A. They are both empty from the neck up.

Q. Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
A. Because it kept falling out.

Q. Why did the blonde fail her drivers test?
A. She wasn't used to the front seat.

Q. What does a moped & a fat blonde have in common?
A. They are fun to ride until your friends see you on them.

Q. What is a blondes favorite nursery rhyme?
A. Humpme dumpme.

Q. What do blondes and spaghetti have in common?
A. They both wriggle when you eat them.                               
Q. How do you know if a blonde has been on the computer?
A. The joystick is wet.
     
Q. Whats a blondes cheer?
A. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B-L-O-N-..oh well..I'm blonde,I'm blonde.

Q. Why did the blonde wear a condom on her ears?
A. She didn't want to get hearing aids.

Q. Whats a blondes favorite potato chip?
A. Frito~Lay  {free to lay}

Q. What did the blonde say to the waitress after reading her name tag?
A. Aw! Brenda,aint that cute ...did you name the other one too?

Q. What does a blonde & a bowling ball have in common?
A. More than likely they'll both end up in a gutter!

Q. How does a blonde part her hair?
A. By doing the splits.

Q. Why do blondes wear thier hair up?
A. They wanna catch the things that go over thier head.

Q. How does a blonde pierce her ears?
A. She puts tacks in her shoulder pads.

Q. Why did the blonde wear a shirt with T.G.I.F on it?
A. Tits Go In Front.

Q. Why did the blonde get excited when she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 12 months?
A. The side of the box said 2-4 years.

Q. Why isn't thier many blonde gymnasts?
A. When they do the splits they stick to the floor.

Q. What goes vrooom-screech,vrooom-screech,vrooom-screech,?
A. A blonde driving thru a blinking red light.

Q. What do you call two nuns & a blonde?
A. Two tight ends & a wide reciever.

Q. Did you hear about the blonde that stayed up all night to see where the sun went?
A. It finally dawned on her.

Q. What does a blonde & the Bermuda Triangle have in common?
A. They have both swalowed alot of seman.

Q. How do you plant dope?
A. Bury a blonde.

Q. How did the blonde burn her face?
A. She was bobbing for french fries.

Q. Why do blondes wear tampons?
A. So the crabs can bungie jump.

Q. What is the differance between a refridgerator & a blonde?
A. The refridgerator doesn't fart when you pull the meat out of it!

Q. What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents happen around the home?
A. She moved.

Q. Why do blondes have Viginas?
A. So guys will talk to them at parties.

Q. Why do blondes hate M&Ms?
A. They are too hard to peel.

Q. Why do more blondes move to L.A.?
A. It's easier to spell.
--------------------------To be continued------------------------

 






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