Q. What does Ted Kennedy have that Clinton wishes he had?
A. A dead girlfriend.
Q. Whats the newest game in the White House?
A. Swallow the leader.
Q. Why was it difficult for Clinton to fire Monica Lewinsky?
A. He couldn't give her a pink slip without her trying it on first.
Q. What do Monica Lewinsky & Bob Dole have in common?
A. They were both upset when Bill finished first.
Q. What is Bill's definition of safe sex?
A. When Hillary is out of town.
Q. Why does Bill always take top during sex?
A. He only knows how to screw up.
Q. How does Bill Clinton teach a woman to golf?
A. He starts with the irons & ends up in the woods.
Q. Did you hear Bill gave up playing the saxaphone?
A. Now he plays the whore-Monica.
Q. Did you hear Clinton doesn't use bookmarks?
A. He just bends over the pages.
Q. What does Clinton say about the abortion bill?
A. Just pay it.
Q. Do you know why Bill ran for president?
A. He thought it was the Oral Office.
Q. Do you know what the password to get into the white house is?
A. BITCH (Bills In Trouble Call Hillary).
Q. How does Billy say screw you?
A. Trust me!
Q. What is the Arkansa state flower?
A. Jennifer
Q. What did the band play at Clintons inauguration?
A. Inhale to the chief.
Q. How did Bill & Hillary meet?
A. They were dating the same girl in high school.
Q. What is clintons favorite baseball team?
A. The Dodgers.
Q. Why do they put Clintons picture on the insides of a toilet bowl?
A. So all the assholes can see who they voted for.
Q. Why do the secret service guard Hillary so closely?
A. Because if something happens to her, Bill becomes president.
Q. What do Bill & JFK have in common?
A. Neither one has had any brains for the last 35 years.
Q. What kind of neckwear would Bill look best in?
A. A noose.
Q. Why did Bill Clinton cross the road?
A. To tax the chicken.
Q. When did Bill realize that Paula Jones wasn't a democrat?
A. When she didn't swallow everything he presented.
Q. Why did all the faggots vote for Clinton?
A. Because faggots like assholes better than Bush
Q. Why does Bill Clinton always have a stupid look on his face?
A. Because he is stupid.
Q. Why did Bill go out to see on an aircraft carrier?
A. To premote offshore drilling.
Q. What does Bill Clinton have in common with other great Presidents?
A. Absolutely nothing!
Q. Why did Clinton want alot of women in his cabinet?
A. To hide all the men in his closet.
Q. What does Clinton need to stop the White Water?
A. A Watergate.
Q. How is Bill Clinton like an unemployed school teacher?
A. No class & no principles.
Q. Why did Clinton spend three hours in a voting booth?
A. he thought he was in confesion
Q. Did you hear that someone threw a beer bottle at Bill Clinton?
A. He's ok ...It was draft & he was able to dodge it.
Q. Did you here about the new Bill Clinton doll?
A. You can pull its string & it never says the same lies twice.
Q. What is the Arkansas state flower?
A. Jennifer.
Q. What did Clinton say when asked about the situation with Ruwanda?
A. He denied ever meeting her.
Q. Why did Clinton decide to go to Africa?
A. He got the idea when he was thumbing through a National Geographic.
Q. What's Clintons Economic forecast?
A. A Bare market.
Q. Why did Clinton flunk spelling?
A. He thought harass was two words.
Q. What does Bill tell Hillary after having sex?
A. Nothing...she hears about it on the evening news.
Q. What is Bills Irish name?
A. Pat Malloyns.
Q. What did Clinton say to an intern in the Lincoln bedroom?
A. Wanna go down for breakfast?
Q. Did you hear Bill is declaring a new national bird?
A. The spread eagle.
Q. Whats the differance betwwen the secret service & Janet Reno?
A. There are some things the Secret Service wont do to protect the President.
Q. What is Clintons favorite card game?
A. Poker.
Q. What kind of toothbrush does Bill use?
A. Oral~B
Q. What is Bills favorite food?
A. The Cumquat.
Q. Why does he like sailing?
A. Becouse even when its not windy, he still gets blown.
Q. What office equipment has been distributed to all of the white house secretaries?
A. The dictaphone.
Q. Why does Clinton swim naked in the white house pool?
A. He's trolling for interns.
Q. What is the recipe for Clinton Stew?
A. One weiner & alot of hot water.
Q. Why was Bill kicked out of the Cub Scouts when he was little?
A. He got cought eating Brownies.
Q. What will Monica Lewinski's new show on Suday morning be?
A. Eat the pres.
Q. Whats the differance between Clinton & a screwdriver?
A. The screwdriver turns in screws, & the other screws interns.
Q. What does Bill Clinton & KMART have in common?
A. They both have lingerie half off.
Q. What was that spot on Lewinskis dress?
A. Presidue.
Q. What was the last gift Clinton gave to Monica Lewinski?
A. Spot Remover.
Q. How does Clinton keep Monica Lewinski away from the White House?
A. He keeps offering to have Ted Kennedy give her a ride home.
Q. Why is Clinton so intrested in events in the middle-east?
A. He thinks Gaza Strip is a topless bar.
Q. What is Clintons favorite toy?
A. An erector set.
Q. Why would Clinton make a great rowing instructor?
A. He is so good at saying Stoke, Stroke, Stroke.
Q. Why does Clinton swim naked in the White House pool?
A. He's trolling for interns.
Q. What is Clintons favorite food?
A. The Cumquat.
Q. What is Clintons worst nightmare?
A. An intern with braces.
Q. What does Clinton during breakfast?
A. He reads the HEAD-lines.
Q. What was Arafat's advise to Clinton?
A. Goats don't talk.
Q. What was the last gift Clinton gave to Monica Lewinski?
A. Spot remover.
Q. What will Clinton be remembered as when he leaves the White House?
A. The president after Bush.
Q. What do Monica Lewinski & O.J. Simpson have in common?
A. Sore knees.
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