Elephants Jokes Q: Who weighs 6000 pounds and wears glass slippers? A: Cinderelephant Q: Wha't big and grey and can fly straight up? A: An elecopter. Q: What do elephants do for entertainment? A: Watch elevision. Q: How do elephants communicate? A: They talk on the elephone. Q: How do you tell if there is an elephant in your refrigerator? A: Look for his footprints in the cheesecake. Q: How do you tell if there are two elephants in your refrigerator? A: Look for two sets of footprints side by side. Q: How do you tell if there are three elephants in your refrigerator? A: The door won't close. Q: How many giraffes will fit in the refrigerator? A: None: there are already too many elephants in there. Q: How do you get an elephant into a Volkswagon Beetle? A: Open the door, insert elephant, close door. Q: How do you get 4 elephants in a Volkswagon? A: Two in the front and two in the back Q: How do you know if an elephant is visiting your house? A: There is a Volkswagon parked outside with 3 elephants in it. Q: How do you get 8 elephants in a refrigerator? A: Put 4 elephants in one Volkswagon, put four elephants in another Volkswagon, and put the two Volkswagons in the refrigerator. Q: But two Volkswagons won't fit in a refrigerator. A: There were two elephants in there, and a Volkswagon isn't as big as an elephant! Q: How do you get two Tarzans in the refrigerator? A: You can't. There is only one Tarzan! Q: How do you make an elephant float? A: With two scoops of ice-cream, a bottle of cream soda, and an elephant. Q: Why are elephants large, grey, and wrinkled? A: Because if they were small, white, and smooth they would be aspirins. Q: Why did the elephant wear dark sunglasses? A: So he wouldn't be recognized. Q: What did Tarzan say when the elephant came up over the hill? A: Nothing. He didn't recognize the elephant because he was wearing dark sunglasses. Q: What did the cat say to the elephant? A: Meow. Q: Why do elephants wear red toenail polish? A: Oops, sorry, no Polish jokes allowed. Q: Why do elephants paint their toenails red? A: So they can hide in the strawberry patch. Q: But there aren't any elephants in the strawberry patch! A: See, their camoflauge is working. Q: How do you get an elephant to the top of an oak tree? A: Plant an acorn under him and wait 50 years. Q: What if I don't want to wait 50 years? A: Put a parachute on the elephant and drop him from an elecopter. Q: How do you get an elephant down from an oak tree? A: Tell him to sit on a leaf and wait until autumn. Q: Why are alligators long and flat? A: They must have gotten too close to the oak tree. Q: What's the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant? A: About 3000 miles. Q: What's the difference between an elephant and a flea? A: An elephant can have fleas, but a flea can't have elephants. Q: What's the difference between and elephant and an egg? A: If you don't know, I hope you don't do the grocery shopping! Q: Why did the elephant cross the road? A: It was the chicken's day off. Q: Why did the Frenchman sprinkle salt on the road? A: To keep elephants away. Q: But there are no elephants in France. A: See, it's working! Q: What do you do with a blue elephant? A: Cheer him up. Q: Where is the best place to see a herd of charging elephants? A: On elevision. Q: How do you keep an elephant from charging? A: Take away his credit cards.