The Techno Terms Dictionary                  




486 - The average IQ needed to understand a PC.
              
State-of-the-art - Any computer you can't afford.
              
Obsolete - Any computer you own.
              
Microsecond - The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer   
              become obsolete.

G3 - Apple's new Macs that make you say "Gee, three times faster than
     the computer I bought for the same price a Microsecond ago."

Syntax Error - Walking into a computer store and saying "Hi, I want 
               to buy a computer and money is no object."

Hard Drive - The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, esp. 
             after a Syntax Error.

GUI - What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it. 
      (pronounced "gooey")
              
Keyboard - The standard way to generate computer errors.
              
Mouse - An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to 
        generate.
              
Floppy - The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.
              
Portable Computer - A device invented to force businessmen to work at 
                    home, on vacation, and on business trips.

Disk Crash - A typical computer response to any critical deadline.
              
Power User - Anyone who can format a disk from DOS.
              
System Update - A quick method of trashing ALL of your software.