WHAT THE DOCTOR REALLY MEANS......




Doctor says:  "If it doesn't clear up in a week, give me a call."
Doctor REALLY means:  "I don't know what the hell it is.  Maybe it
  will go away by itself."
      
Doctor says:  "That's quite a nasty looking wound."
Doctor REALLY means:  "I think I'm going to throw up."
    
Doctor says:  "This may hurt a little."
Doctor REALLY means:  "Last week two patients bit through their
  tongues."
  
Doctor says:  "Well, we're not feeling so well today, are we?"
Doctor REALLY means:  "I can't remember your name, nor why you're here."
      
Doctor says:  "Everything seems to be normal."
Doctor REALLY means:  "I guess I can't buy that new beach condo after all."
      
Doctor says:  "I'd like to run some more tests."
Doctor REALLY means:  "I can't figure out what's wrong.  Maybe the kid in
  the lab can solve this one."
  
Doctor says:  "Do you suppose all of this stress could be affecting
  your nerves?"
Doctor REALLY means "I think you are crazy and I hope to find a
  psychiatrist who will split fees."
  
Doctor says:  "There is a lot of that going around."
Doctor REALLY means:  "My God, that's the third one this week.  I'd better
  learn something about this."