Dictionary for Women
            



Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n.
    A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he hasn't
    realized it yet.

Airhead (er*hed) n.
    What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a
    policeman.

Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n
    You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the
    tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned
    everything up, but, he "made the dinner."

Blonde jokes (blond joks) n.
    Jokes that are short so men can understand them.

Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n
    Gotta get married in a church.

Clothes dryer (kilo dri*yer) n.
    An appliance designed to eat socks.

Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n.
    A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half
    pound bag of peanut M&Ms.

Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n.
    The last two minutes of a football game.

Exercise (ex*er*siz) v
    To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a
    purchase.

Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n.
    What you spend 1/2 an hour writing, then forget to take to
    the store.

Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n.
    Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able
    to duplicate again.  See "Magician."

Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n
    Similar to a black hole in space -- if he goes in, he isn't
    coming out anytime soon.

Childbirth (child*brth) n.
    You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to
    hold your hand and say "focus,...breathe...push..."

Lipstick (lip*stik) n
    On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth.
    On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!

Park (park) v./n.
    Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck."
    After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and
    slide.

Patience (pa*shens) n.
    The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and
    children.
    See also "tranquilizers."

Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n.
    Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off
    if you try to remove it.

Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n
    A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds,
    and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.