The Facelift




A lady goes to the doctor to see about getting a facelift.

"Well," says the doctor, "I can do the facelift, and then you'll have
to come back in six months for a follow-up."
                  
"Oh, no," the woman replies.  "I want it all done in one shot.  I
don't want to have to come back."
                  
The doctor thinks for a second, then offers, There is a new procedure 
where we put a screw in the top of your head.  Then anytime you see 
wrinkles appearing, you just give it a little turn, which pulls the
skin up, and they disappear."

"That's what I want!" exclaims the lady.  "Let's do that."

Six months later the lady charged into the doctor's office.

"Well, how's the procedure holding up?" the doctor asks.

"Terrible!" the lady bellows.  "It's the worst mistake I've ever
made." 

"What's wrong?" asks the doctor.
                  
"Just look at these bags under my eyes!" she hollers.

"Lady," the doctor retorts, "those aren't bags, those are your
breasts.  And if you don't leave that screw alone, you're going to
have a beard!"