Bad Puns II




A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something
to eat.  He came across two men.  One was sitting under a tree and
reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter.  The
lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him.
Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers
cramp.



There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.  He sent in
ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would
win.  Unfortunately, no pun in ten did. 



A guy goes to a psychiatrist.  "Doc, I keep having these alternating
recurring dreams.  First I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, them I'm a
teepee, then I'm a wigwam.  It's driving me crazy.  What's wrong with
me?"  The doctor replies: "It's very simple.  You're two tents."



A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption.  One of them goes
to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal."  The other goes to a family
in Spain; they name him "Juan."  Years later, Juan sends a picture of
himself to his birth mom.  Upon receiving the picture, she tells her
husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal.  Her husband
responds, "But they're twins - if you've see Juan, you've seen Amal."



A man who lived in a block of apartments thought it was raining and
put his head out the window to check.  As he did so, a glass eye fell
into his hand.  He looked up, to see where it came from, in time to
see a young woman looking down.  "Is this yours?" he asked.  She
said, "Yes, could you bring it up?" and the man agreed.  On arrival
she was profuse in her thanks and offered the man a drink.  As she
was very attractive, he agreed.  Shortly afterwards she said, "I'm
about to have dinner.  There's plenty, would you like to join me?"
He readily accepted her offer and both enjoyed a lovely meal.  As
the evening was drawing to a close the lady said, "I've had a
marvelous evening.  Wouldn't you like to stay longer?"  The man
hesitated then said,  "Do you act like this with every man you meet?"
"No," she replied, "Only those who catch my eye."