One-Liners





Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
 


The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.



Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.



It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.



This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.



The hardest thing in America is not to be a finalist in the Publishers
Clearing House sweepstakes.



I'm not fat.  I am a nutritional overachiever.
 


I live in my own little world, but it's ok... they know me here.



Money is not everything.  There's Mastercard & Visa.