4/21/98...Taking a chance here,this neighborhood has been inaccesible recently.I hope it doesn't conk out again while I'm here. Chronic Fatigue ate my testicular appendages!I cleaned house last Thursday and have been down flat,unable to drag myself to the keyboard for four days.I am still weak and trembly and life is hard once again.That is all.

4/16/98...The Paula Jones Rhinoplasty Defense Fund is hereby cancelled out of sheer disgust.I am also considering revoking Monica Lewinsky's Weight Watcher's membership.I hear the former followers of the Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh have offered Ken Starr an honorary degree in levitational meditation.Jeez I'm tired of hearing about the president's "zipper problem".

4/14/98...Yeah I know,it looks like I'm losing it here.Probably,but I'm learning stuff maybe.I'll get it straightened out eventually,Cool logo huh?It's from one of those on-line generators that I lost the name of.I think the first link out of cooltext.com.It's by Gimp,anyhow;Later. (Later...)There seems to be a problem with my arrangement up top with the new logo in Netscape 3,it is fine in MSIE 4.Some more to do...

4/13/98...Long time,no see;my how time flies when you're lost in the ozone. Good news,bad news:the good news is I'm on Prozac again,the bad news is I'm back on Prozac again.I hate these rollar coaster rides.Up we go,down we go,up,down,etc.The shrink at the clinic is much easier to deal with and much less condescending,I can't use the antipsychotic he prescribed though,bad dry-mouth and rather than quell anxiety it simply knocks you out.Good in an emergency I suppose.I ran out of KAVA yesterday(Easter)so I took half of one when I started climbing the walls.Napped away the afternoon. Don't download into your desktop,it was suggested as an easy way to find the file.Trouble is if you don't move it elsewhere before you open it the desktop is likely to be swamped with unwanted icons(if it's a game or something big and segmented).I have a very tidy desktop now,having thrown out the baby with the bathwater. Since downloading a new driver for my sound card I have sound on the Quake II demo but have given myself carpal tunnel syndrome trying to play it with the mouse for 5 hours.Someone please buy me a joystick,and a printer,and a zip drive,and a car,pretty please?

3/30/98...WITHDRAWAL from PROZAC.Things are likely to get pretty dull around here for some time,I have a hole opening up under my feet and am starting to sink.I've been through this before and will no doubt survive,but last time I tried to go it alone it didn't work very well.As time goes by things change,and I am not young anymore.Energy is scarcer than it used to be.Thinking gets fuzzy and motivation becomes non-existent.I am staring at this blinking cursor,in quite a daze.Overheard tonight on tv about the white house position on not supplying the Willey letters (to Clinton) when they were asked for:"They didn't ask for the proper file."Commentator asks why this is a defense...I thought,"That's sure as hell the way my computer works.",if I don't ask for the right file by the absolute proper name no way am I going to get what I'm after,so I guess it's as good a defense as any.I thought about putting in a bunch of links to sites about depression but frankly,such places are depressing.

3/27/98..."Trying is the first step toward failure."...Bart Simpson. "I've got a mind like a steel trap:rusty and illegal in 37 states." "If everything is coming your way,you must be on the wrong side of the road."Thanks to RuthAnn. This situation with the "doctor" has got me stressed,thank god for Kavatrol(which is pretty good stuff albeit overpriced).This is the same "doctor" that prescribed Buspar on top of the Prozac,and suggested I use more Dalmane.I've had it with this jerk. "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than have a frontal lobotomy."Thanks to Jon. I see amongst the info concerning Prozac out there that an increase in alcohol craving is not uncommon among SSRI users.However that stands alongside the fact that there is no evidence that SSRI use and drinking up to 4 standard drinks daily is any cause for concern or is harmful.What had me acting so goofy,I'm convinced,is alcohol and Dalmane.To be sure,Prozac puts me in a strange place at the level I was using and I hope that being cut-off will not make things any worse.BUT I don't appreciate the way this has been handled,no advance warning,no chance to be weaned-off the stuff,and reading between the lines of what Sharon at the office told me concerning "family members"I know that some people,although well-intentioned,are ill-informed and the result of their intervention may not be helpful.

3/26/98...Calling all malpractice lawyers!...My physician,K*V*N D*YLE,AZ F*RST,1*65 R*TH ST.,PRESCOTT,AZ.86301,520-4*5-9*32,is witholding my medication because I cannot prove that I am not drinking.He is in possession of two months worth of Prozac that belongs to me.Everyone(but him)knows that Prozac is minimally interactive with alcohol.And if I were wholly dependent and suicidal,it would be on his head if something awful were to happen.I can't help but think this is a result of interference by certain relations.I hope you're happy.

3/25/98...Still have a hard time figuring this crap.Where is my eloquent page?

3/21/98...An absolutely surreal weekend.Do to an attack of insensitivity and carelessness on my part ,and what I think was a boyfriend on her part,Andi is no longer a presence in my life.The whole thing has thrown me for a loop and I hope we've all learned a valuable lesson(!??!!????!).

3/20/98...Am beginning reconstruction today,pardon the mess.Andi doesn't look like DeeDee from Dexter's Laboratory,in any form or fashion.Too bad,that's the image I concocted (we can't all be cartoons).No really,she's quite striking;if I were 30 years younger...

3/17/98...My page is lost because I put in the announcement below ,making this the latest version.All pictures,etc. are in the file manager with no where to go.BACK UP YOUR FILES!!!Happy Birthday, M.E.!

3/15/98...Geocities has had a major outage...this material is 3 months old.Hopefully normality will be restored soon.If not I may move elsewhere (yeah,right).