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have I got a story for you!
the roommate from Hell, and his name is Moses...how's that for ironic?!?
I apologize profusely for the swearing...I was mad when I wrote this stuff, and scared outta my mind.
I spent the Fall of 1999 in Ottawa, then near the end I had my old roommate scope out some potential homes for myself back in Regina. I did that once before and it worked out quite well, so I really wasn't too worried. Brodie found me this great basement suite...$235 month plus phone, and that included power, cable, and laundry. sweet :) plus, I had space on the street for my car, and it was walking distance from both school and a grocery store. ooh, and it was furnished, which was nice since I don't know anyone with a truck to help me move my furniture -- I just left it with Brodie's new roommate (who is also cool, btw).
our first meeting
on the appropriate day I showed up at the appropriate time to meet my new roomie. all I knew about him was that he was a boxer, an actor, and in pre-law. sounded interesting. I rang the front doorbell, twice, when he finally showed up. first thing he says was "We use the side door." um, hi. nice ta meet ya. anyway, I'd woken him up I guess, but it did strike me as rude.
he offered to help me move my stuff though, and he encouraged (practically begged) me to use his stuff (like plates and shit), so I thought maybe he'd be cool.
first sign of trouble
pretty much right away he started telling me what to do. I realized he was a total control freak, but I put up with it. once he told me that he didn't like it when I put spoons on the carpet -- see, I'd make tea, then wipe the spoon off and put it on the carpet since I couldn't reach the coffee table from the chair I like. then, during a commercial, I'd get up and put the spoon in the sink. big deal right? well, it was according to Moses. once he told me that since he had friends coming over, I had to clean up the house. I asked very innocently "what needs to be cleaned?" the house was spotless...I'm a very neat person. he said "well, vacuuming and stuff". hmm. if his friends are coming over, don't you think HE should be doing the cleaning?
eh well, I put up with it. maybe I shouldn't have.
then he started to piss me off...Valentine's Day I'm all dressed up and going over to my boyfriend's place. Moses tells me "Y'know, you should really spend less time with Jason and more time studying." fuck off! how ignorant is that?
I put up with the control freak, but the fact that he was notoriously bad with phone messages was pissing me off. in 10 days I once missed 6 phone calls because of him. any other nitpicking I could deal with, but don't mess with my phone calls.
the big one
we had an agreement basically that if he asked me if he could eat my bread, I'd give him permission and it was cool. one night I came out of my room and he'd eaten the last half of loaf of bread that I had. not really a huge deal, but it rubbed me the wrong way and I was hungry. he could have asked, since I was home. so, I told him from now on I don't want him eating my bread at all. on the few occasions that I gave him permission, he would eat all of it, then not really replace it. it was already beginning to annoy me, and I decided that he'd crossed the line. it wasn't even a huge deal, but I wanted him to know I didn't like that agreement anymore.
later that night he left me a note. ooh, it was sweet! I've scanned it in (although it is a bit tough to read, sorry!)
the first side
the second side
but quickly I'll give you the good points: it was titled "change of plan". damn, the whole thing was just rude. essentially, I was not allowed to touch anything of his at all, from plates and cutlery, to garbage bags and the garbage can! how petty is that? ooh, this is my favourite: I was ordered to take my coffee maker off of his microwave! talk about overreacting.
the note wasn't a big deal...I actually own plates and stuff anyway. the part of the note that was fucking ridiculous was that he said I no longer was allowed to use his answering machine anymore. if any of my friends called, he would erase the messages. he made it sound like I was bad with phone messages! moron.
sensing a fight, I went to our landlord and asked him if Moses had the power to get me kicked out. he said nope, not at all.
two days later, after giving Moses time to cool off, I went to him and said that he can't deny me the use of some sort of message system, whether it's his answering machine or message manager. if he won't let me use his machine, he has to take it off the line and we'll share message manager, preferably with separate mailboxes so he can't mess with my messages as much. it ended up being a HUGE fight...so bad our landlord Derek came down and told us to shut up. what Moses ended up deciding was that if I was on the phone, I should write down his messages if there was a beep, and he would do the same for me (yeah, right. he never had before). and if there were messages for me on the machine, he wouldn't erase them. but, if he was home and the phone rang for me, he would not write down the messages. what the fuck kind of logic is that? I can assure you, he's COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY IRRATIONAL!!!
later Derek left a note saying either fix the problem or he'll pull the phone line. he owns the house, but the phone line happens to be in Moses' name. so, this means that I also couldn't ask Derek to put on message manager, and I couldn't do it myself. only Moses had the power to do that, and purely out of circumstance. the situation sorta resolved itself, but only temporarily.
from then on, we were enemies. for almost three weeks we didn't talk, except to mention phone messages. my friends were leaving fewer and fewer because they knew I probably wouldn't get them anyway, but I seemed to be getting the ones they did leave. one day I received a message from a woman I babysit for. she said a bunch of stuff, then ended with "sorry for leaving this message on your friend's business line." what? I listened to the greeting and it said "You have reached Moses' Ecological Service and Hip Hop Basketball...". (he has these stupid business ventures, that quite honestly I hope fail!!!) no mention of me. this really really pissed me off, since I figured that people might leave even fewer messages now because they might think I've moved. I move often enough, and I hate living with Moses enough that it was entirely possible. so, I left him a note saying to add my name immediately. two days later, and after a conversation with a friend who didn't leave a message because she thought she had the wrong number, I changed the damn thing myself.
fight number two
so, I'm at home one night and Moses pulls me aside. my friend was there, but I didn't care if we fought in front of her. I thought maybe he wouldn't fight actually, if she was there. his beef: he figures that if he didn't have an answering maching, we'd have message manager. I agreed (although that's not entirely true...I could borrow a machine, except I far prefer message manager). so, now he figures that I should pay him for message manager. I looked him square in the eye and said "FUCK YOU!". he's not getting one damn penny outta me, especially for a fucked up reason like that. after that I wouldn't converse with him, I just kept saying fuck you. he's completely irrational, so there was no point in arguing anyway.
my friend had thought originally that my bitching about Moses was exaggeration, but after she witnessed that fight, she admitted that it really was that bad. he's a fuckhead. he also threatened me physically -- saying things like "you'll be sorry", and my friend says he said something to the effect of killing me or beating me up or something. unfortunately, I wasn't really listening to what that asshole was saying, and I was too busy putting on my shoes to get the hell out. at one point though, I was scared he was going to run up the stairs and grab me, so I stopped tying my shoes and just left.
on one hand I'd like him to hit me so I can press charges (since you can't really sue someone for being the worst roommate ever). on the other hand...he's a boxer and huge, so one hit and I could be killed. that would suck.
I get home later that night and he'd moved the answering maching to the extension in his bedroom...so it's taking messages, but he's erasing the ones for me. he did too...found out not long after from someone who called a couple of times. he also picked through the garbage and put everything that was mine in a separate grocery bag and put it near my area of the shelf space...he was mad I kept using his garbage can. how fucking petty is that?!?!
I left a note for Derek asking for help. I was at my wit's end, and there was nothing I could do anymore. yes, I could move out, but I really couldn't afford it and where would I go? I thought about getting a cell phone, but I don't have $189 for the phone.
Derek bitched Moses out, to which Moses replied, "Derek, why are you picking on me man?" Derek countered, "Because I am sick of you two bickering, especially when the answer to the problem is in your room. Put the machine back right now!" YAY!!!
unfortunately, Moses has now taken to lying to people about whether or not I'm home. he told my Dad one morning at 11 am that I wasn't home, and later my Mom at 4 pm that I wasn't home. I definitely was home all day, except when I left from 1:30 til 2 to buy some laundry detergent.
right now
so, that's my story up til now. I hate living with him so much. it's unbelievable how completely fucking irrational he is. it's like fighting with a 2 year old that's bigger than you! thank goodness that I only have five weeks to go before I move out! I'm sure I'll be keeping you updated on his fucked up rules between now and then! oh yeah, and sorry about the swearing, but if you knew him you'd understand!
okay, here's an update for you. a couple days after I wrote this all up, we ended up with Ident-A-Call and Message Manager. so, I had to change my phone number (which is annoying but no biggee), and he can't decide that he has the right to erase my messages. we don't answer each other's phone calls, and even the Call Waiting beep is different for each of us. so far it's worked, so I'm waiting to see what else he'll pick on. exactly one month to go!!!
another update, April 4th: omigod I fucking hate him so much! last night I didn't get home from school til just after 10. I called Jason pretty much right away, and left a message for him to give me a call since he wasn't home. I ate a bit, then I was doing the dishes when the doorbell rang. I asked Moses if he was expecting someone, since I certainly wasn't. he got the door, and it was Jason. he ran down the stairs without taking his shoes off and started yelling that Moses is now telling people I don't live there anymore!!!
what the fuck! I guess what happened was that Jason called just before 10 and asked for me. he called my number, so there was absolutely no reason for Moses to answer the phone, but he did. Jason asked for me, and Moses said that he had the wrong number and I don't live there anymore. fuck! so Jason hung up and raced to the university to see if I was still working on my project in the computer lab. on the way he ran into my friend Katja, who didn't know if I'd moved out or not. he didn't find me in the computer lab, so he drove to my house to see if maybe I was packing my car or something. my car was in it's regular space, so he rang the doorbell. when Moses answered he asked if I was home. Moses just pointed downstairs and Jason ran down. since he didn't take his shoes off, Moses started yelling at him to take them off or he can get the hell out, stuff like that. our landlord doesn't like us wearing shoes on the carpet, but Moses does it all the time with MUDDY shoes so whatever.
Jason took them off, then argued with Moses for a bit. he was really fucking pissed right off, and it was obvious that he'd been worried sick that I'd either been hurt or someting. so Jason ran upstairs to tell Derek what was going on...Moses was totally overstepping boundaries big time. Derek never really said anything...I followed Jason and Moses upstairs so I could give Derek my rent cheque. Jason quickly said what was going on, then Moses called him a liar and stuff, and then THREATENED HIM PHYSICALLY! I actually heard the words this time...he told Jason he was gonna "smash his head in". right in front of Derek too.
I was really worried that Moses was gonna swing at Jason, so I pushed them apart (Jason would never hit him, even if he was hit first) and just yelled to go downstairs. anyway, this is longer than I anticipated, but essentially I went to Jason's and today I'm gonna go to the Student Advocate and see if there's anything I can do. Derek has been helpful in the past, but I think he needs to do more.
if Moses and I were just having a personality conflict, then it wouldn't be up to anyone but the two of us to work it out. but now with the actual threats and the fucking with my loved ones, well it's gone too far. I should have moved out six weeks ago, but once again I feel like I shouldn't have to.
so what do I want Derek to do? kick his disrespectful, temper tantrum ass out. period. he's going to end up driving away future tenants, and he's the one who's been the whole problem right from the start.
the last update
so, now it's June 14th, and I've been away from that dickhead for six weeks. woo! Derek never gave me back my damage deposit, and I don't care. I sorta owe Moses money for the phone...not $100, but maybe $40 at the most. so whatever. I'd rather not talk to either of them ever again. not that I even hate Derek so much, but I'm bitter.
I moved out without seeing Moses. good for him too, because that also means I didn't do anything to his car. not that I'm vindictive enough to damage it, but I really wanted to write something like "Moses is a fuckhead" in the dust. just to piss him off.
a few weeks ago I was talking to a friend who knows Moses and knows his last roommate (the one before me). according to him, Moses has a criminal record! y'know, I wondered because one day I saw a letter addressed to him from Social Services. maybe it is just a juvenile record, but still. doesn't surprise me.
supposedly he spent time in jail for beating someone up, and my friend said it was quite possibly a girl. well it's a damn good thing I found out about this after I left. I'd have been even more terrified than I was and moved out. no dicking around.
but whatever. ultimately it's over. and I hope I never see that fuckhead ever again.
conclusion
it's August, 2000, and Derek finally gave me my damage deposit back. I should have known he would, he is just bad about getting things done on time.
this is the first time in almost two months that I have read this story over. makes me want to cry. he made things so rotten for way too long. I definitely should have moved away from that abusive relationship sooner than I did, but "Collette the eternal optimist" kept hoping he would stop messing with my life.
it really truly makes me sad that people like him exist. and, he's by far not even the worst kind of person. and what scares me the most is...if things got worse, would I have put up with it? would I ever put up with someone hitting me? I really don't think so, but when I remember Moses I have to wonder. and it's really scary.
did anything positive come out of this? of course. I appreciate Brodie, my old roommate, a billion times more. Brodie is the superest though, so it really didn't take too much for me to realize that. I think I also appreciate Jason a lot more too. I know he cares about me, and I can see that he is an excellent roommate. I feel I understand abusive relationships more, even though mine wasn't physical. I am far more empathetic to the situation.
so hey, I guess it was a learning experience.