| Limericks | Author/s |
| There was a young man from China, Who drove a mini minor, A chick did the splits, So he pulled out his dick, And screwed her up the vagina. | Lee, Brian |
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There was a fish called chopper, Who ate a mighty big whopper, He got really fat, People said "What's that?", Cause now he had no whopper to flopper. | Adam |
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Cameron was a student at Balmoral, Who wanted to receive some oral, He met a great girl, When she saw him - she hurled, And said "Come on - I do have some moral". | Adam |
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Adam was a young man, Who thought spam was real ham, When he found out it's not, He chucked a big snot, And it ended up landing on Sam. | Adam |
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I know a young man named Brian, Who couldn't get a screw even when lyin', So he tried a different hand, And went for a man, But by the end of the screw he was cryin'. | Lee, Adam |
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There was a man/girl called Brian, When people teased him he started cryin', The called him names, And played silly games, So Brian ended it all by dyin'. | Lee, Brian, Adam |
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There was a young man from Spain, Who flew in a chocolate airplane, He flew to the sun, Burnt off his bum, And vowed he would never do it again. | Lee |
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There was a young lady names Claire, Who had unwanted facial hair, She tried to shave, It grew back in days, And now she looks like a bear. | Adam |
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Let me tell you about my old chum, The one who is incredibly dumb, When he went for a screw, He didn't know what to do, So he ended up giving her bum. | Lee |
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There was a weird chick called Née, Who contemplated being gay, She found a sexy, big-titted chick, Without the complications of a dick, And now all she says is "YAY!!!" | Née |
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There was a young man named Adam, Who got crabs but denied that he had 'em, He then said he had pubic lice, Which doesn't taste very nice, He counted them all - there were ten. | Lee, Adam |
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There once was a boy called Lee, Who practised the art of bestiality, He found a dog, Went in for the snog, It was the only way he could get sex for free. | Daniel |