How To Speak About Women And Be Politically Correct
She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a
BREASTED AMERICAN.
She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE - She is
PEROXIDE DEPENDENT.
She is not a BAD COOK - She is
MICROWAVE INCOMPATIBLE.
She is not HALF NAKED - She is
WARDROBE IMPAIRED.
She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY - She is
METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.
She is not CONCEITED - She is
INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES
She does not want to be MARRIED - She wants to lock you in
DOMESTIC INCARCERATION.
She does not GAIN WEIGHT - She is a
METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.
She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is
VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
She is not EASY - She is
HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in
ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
She is not DUMB - She is a
DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
She is not TOO SKINNY - She is
SKELETALLY PROMINENT.
She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE - She is
IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE.
She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS - She is
ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT
She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a
PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - She commits
FRAGRANCE ABUSE.
She does not GET YOU EXCITED - She causes
TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.
She is not KINKY - She is a
NON-INHIBITED SEXUAL COMPANION.
She does not have a KILLER BODY - She is
TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She does not GO SHOPPING - She is
MALL FLUENT.
She is not an AIRHEAD - She is
REALITY IMPAIRED.
She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets
CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
She does not get FAT or CHUBBY - She achieves
MAXIMUM DENSITY.
She is not COLD or FRIGID - She is
THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE.
She is not HORNY - She is
SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP -She has reached
COSMETIC SATURATION.
She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is
GRAVITY RESISTANT.
She does not NAG YOU - She becomes
VERBALLY REPETITIVE
She is not a SLUT - She is
SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
She is not LOOSE - She is
MORALLY IMPAIRED.
She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is
PECTORALLY SUPERIOR
She does not have THIN LIPS - She is
COLLAGEN DEPENDENT.