"I'm a Romantic."-- "I'm poor."
"I need you." -- "My hand is tired."
"I am different from all the other guys." -- "I am not circumcised."
"I want a commitment." -- "I'm sick of masturbation."
"You're the only girl I've ever cared about." -- "You are the only girl who hasn't rejected me."
"I really want to get to know you better." -- "So I can tell my friends about it."
"It's just orange juice, try it." -- "3 more shots, and she'll have her legs around my head."
"She's kinda cute." -- "I wouldn't kick her out of bed but a pillow over the head might be necessary."
"I don't know if I like her."-- "She won't sleep with me."
"I miss you so much." -- "I am so horny that my male roommate is starting to look good."
"Was it good for you?" -- "I'm insecure about my manhood." "How do I compare with all your other boyfriends?" -- "Is my penis really that small?"
"I had a wonderful time last night."-- "Who the hell are you?"
"Do you love me?" "I've done something stupid and you might find out." --
"Do you 'really' love me?" -- "I've done something stupid and you're going to find out sooner or later."
"How much do you love me?" -- "I've done something really stupid and someone's on their way to tell you by now."
"I have something to tell you." -- "Get tested."
"I'll give you a call." -- "I'd rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than see you again."
"I've been thinking a lot." -- "You're not as attractive as when I was drunk."
"I think we should just be friends." -- "You're ugly."
"I've learned a lot from you."-- "Next!!!!"
"I'm on a long distance call, can you call me later?" -- "I gotta turn on my answering machine."