It didn't take long for Xenith to sense that her adept's mood was changed. Expectation and a certain tenseness radiated from her as they cleaned up their little camp and got ready to start for the day. In anyone else, Xenith would have added edginess or maybe just plain nervousness, but she couldn't imagine Lilith being afraid of anything, so that couldn't be it. Still....

They were almost through when Xenith casually asked, "what's up this morning, Adept?"

Lilith seemed a little annoyed by the question as she replied, "another day of careful watching is ahead of us, Apprentice. Should there be more?"

"I guess not. But it's just that you seemed to be expecting more, or something."

Lilith turned to stare at her in a considering way, then looked pointedly at the ground at Xenith's feet. Xenith looked down, too, and her ears went down in acknowledgment as she knelt and finished burying the remains of their fire. Lilith finished the last strap on their pack horse's load, then simply said, "come along. Let's get this fellow where he belongs, and then we can get on with our jobs." Xenith followed meekly- and silently.

They came to the end of the caravan, where Roweth was busily sorting out all of the spare horses and reining them together as needed. She added theirs to the line, and pointed towards the front to where their riding horses were. As she and Lilith exchanged pleasantries about the morning and other non-essentials, Xenith found herself concluding that Roweth was definitely someone who had no problems with life. She wasn't anywhere near the stature of Lilith- no non-magician could be, and Xenith highly doubted any magician could come very close, either. But there was a simple, down-to-earth practicality and confidence to Roweth that instinctively told everyone that she knew what she was doing, that she enjoyed it, and that if she gave her word on something it would be good. Xenith realized dismally that her life didn't have too many of those absolutes anymore.

As they untied their horses and led them away to mount them, Xenith asked again, "are you sure nothing is wrong, Adept?"

Lilith looked at her with something like amazement before saying, "look at the caravan, apprentice."

Xenith did so with a puzzled expression, then said, "what? I don't see anything..."

She was interrupted by Lilith abruptly clapping her hands over Xenith's eyes and saying, "not that way. I mean really look!"

Xenith gritted her teeth in chagrin as she "looked" with that sixth sense which made her a magician. The life-nets swirled in front of her "eyes" and she rather slowly looked through them to find anything that seemed unusual. A few seconds passed until she gasped, "oh no! How did that get in there?"

Lilith removed her paws as she replied, "Kors brought it in last night. He's got it hidden in his wagon's goods now."

"But someone could get hurt! We need to warn Serans or... or something!"

"And what could he do? Yes, yes, I know-- get the snake back and turn it loose. But that wouldn't solve the problem."

"What problem?"

"Xenith, think about it. Kors didn't get that snake just as an idle joke. He doesn't like you or me, and I suspect that we are the ultimate targets of his little plan- if he has one."

Xenith's eyes rounded. "So... what do we do?"

"We keep a very careful watch, make sure it stays quiet, and make sure no one gets hurt- that includes everyone, not just us."

A slight frown wrinkled the fur above Xenith's eyes as she stared towards the snake's hiding place. "But how did he get it? It wouldn't be hard to do, I suppose, but wouldn't you notice?"

"Of course I noticed."

"But.. but... why didn't you stop him?"

"Didn't I already tell you? It doesn't deal with the problem."

"But this just makes things worse!"

"Not necessarily. More interesting, definitely, and more dangerous almost certainly. But not worse. It simply gives him an outlet for his fears."

"I don't understand."

"I'm not surprised. Now come on. It's time to earn our food, and we've got a long day ahead of us." Xenith followed Lilith's example by mounting her horse and riding up to the front. The caravan was almost ready to roll, so they simply told Serans they would wait for them up ahead and went out front to scan the landscape. Lilith looked at it, at least. Xenith wasn't sure what she was supposed to look for, so didn't try very hard. She was still more worried about the snake back in the caravan.

"Why can't we just kill it? It isn't doing anybody any good."

Lilith's reply showed that she hadn't forgotten their conversation, either. "It's doing Kors some good right now- but I told you that already."

"How? I mean, having a deadly poisonous snake is just plain stupid.... isn't it?"

"Not if you're so scared of the situation that you'll grasp at anything- even something that could kill you- if it offered a way out."

A chill went up Xenith's back as she considered that. "That's bad. But I didn't think he was scared the other day."

"He wasn't. I had a little talk with him. He is now."

Xenith gulped. She was totally unsurprised at that last statement. If Lilith wanted to put fear in you, she could.

"That's what I meant by an outlet, apprentice. Right now, Kors is letting his fear rule not just his actions, but likely his thoughts as well. His one over-riding concern is to get rid of the source of that fear- us. If it takes a weapon deadly enough to kill anything within striking range, well... so be it."

"But couldn't you have given him some less lethal way to express himself?"

"He's the one that chose it, apprentice, not me. Ahhh, good, here comes the caravan. Now, keep a sharp watch on that snake, apprentice, while I watch the trail. Make sure it doesn't break through the net that's keeping it quiet."

"Maybe it'll starve to death and solve all of our troubles," Xenith said to herself softly. Lilith's ears picked it up, though.

"Not for a couple of days, I'm afraid. Actually, that's good. A hungry snake is going to be more dangerous than the full one back there now. Now quit worrying and keep watch." The tone in Lilith's last words effectively put an end to further questions or ideas. Xenith dropped back to one side of the caravan and did as she was told to that morning.

Kors' mood was swinging from fear to a nearly maniacal glee as he thought about what he'd gotten into. Several time that morning he'd managed to check on his new prize without his seatmate Trons noticing anything wrong. The snake had simply slept all morning. For a while, he worried about it being injured, or wondered if it was just going to hibernate, but considering that an active snake would have been another big problem (he still wasn't exactly sure how to handle it yet), it was just as well. As everyone finished preparations for the midday break and were eating their meal, he decided he had to share it. This was just too juicy to go unappreciated. He found Turins, who was still sitting by himself, although he wasn't as sunk into depression as he had been yesterday.

"Turins!" he said in a low tone. "I've got what we need to get rid of those guides for good!"

Turins looked up, and the look he gave Kors wasn't all that enthusiastic. "Oh really. And just what is that?"

"Remember those snakes we were warned about yesterday evening?"

"Yeah- sand vipers. They can kill you with their poison, they said. So?"

"I've got one!"

Turins' eyes snapped wide open at that. "You what?"

Kors automatically looked around as he hissed, "keep your voice down! Do you want everyone to know?"

"What in Chabat's name have you been up to now, you furball?"

"I told you. I got one of those snakes last night. Now all we need to do is figure out how to get it to bite them and we're home free."

"I wish we were home instead of out here wandering in the middle of the desert. Any idea on how to get there after you so conveniently get rid of our guides?"

"Don't be silly. You know we don't really need guides- you said so yourself."

"Forget what I said about that," Turins growled angrily. "Following a trail is one thing, but we're not on one now. What you're proposing could be suicide. I want to get rid of them, too, but exchanging the fast death they offer for the slower death of wandering around lost isn't going to do us much good."

Kors looked contemptuous. "Don't tell me you've gone soft on them, too."

"Hardly. Nothing would be nicer than to see them broken, but that's going to take more than simply killing them off out here."

"Hey, kill them first, then you have time to tell furs what they were really like."

Turins looked thoughtful for a bit before shaking his head. "A good idea in its own way, but a bit impractical right now. Maybe later."

"Ok, so we do it a little later. I'm willing to wait a couple of days. Come on over to the wagon this evening and you can look at it."

"All right, if it will make you feel better. Now scram before someone starts wondering what we were talking about." As Kors looked around guiltily and then hurried away, Turins smiled rather sourly to himself. It was so easy to push Kors' buttons, he thought. Then the smile turned to bitterness as he realized that he hadn't been the only one manipulating those buttons lately.

The caravan started traveling again for the afternoon, and Lilith noticed the strain in Xenith's face and aura. She sighed to herself. What was exhilerating for her was devastating to her apprentice, it would seem. It made sense, but she still didn't have to like it. Time for a little diversion, she decided. They rode together out front, and after reassuring Xenith that she was keeping an eye on everything- including the snake- Lilith started the conversation.

"You know, " she mused, "in all of the days we've spent together, you've yet to tell me where you came from."

Xenith looked a little startled. "I thought you knew- that rat told you when you took me as an apprentice."

Lilith thought hard. "No, he didn't. He did say you were apprenticed in Frangor, if that's what you mean?"

"Yes. The magician took me straight from home down to the local guild station."

Lilith let out a whiffle of disgust. "He didn't waste any time, did he."

"No."

"So, from what you told me earlier, your family had some social prominence?"

Xenith laughed rather bitterly. "Oh yes. Some. They were the Frangor."

Lilith blinked. "ummm... a branch, or the main line?"

"The main line, to be sure. My oldest brother was the hereditary ruler of the duchy- or would have been, if it hadn't been 'robbed' from us a thousand years ago."

"Eleven hundred and some, you mean," Lilith muttered to herself. "So they're still keeping track of those things, even after all this time."

"Oh yes. Some of the noble families are gone, of course- lost or died out. But my mother made very sure that we knew our place as the true Frangor."

"You seem less than delighted with that status."

"Hah! What status? My mother was so absorbed in her genealogies and social affairs that all she ever gave me was an empty shell labeled 'Frangor'. As a childhood, mine was a total failure. The whole thing based on who I was by birth, then they turn around and try to obliterate my existence."

"You didn't enjoy it, then."

"I hated it! How would you like to grow up with a bunch of snobs who fill you with how great you are, then totally abandon you?"

"It would definitely cut to the quick...." Lilith's voice trailed off and there was silence as she let Xenith's anger cool a bit. "What did you want to be when you grew up?" she asked finally.

"Uhmm... well, just being grown up was a huge goal in itself. There wasn't much question about what you were beyond that. Being an adult noble was a role that was everything you could be- and more, I guess."

"But there are no nobles now- so what would an adult of your family actually do for a living?"

Xenith shrugged. "It varied. Mostly landowners, renting out fields to farmers, or more likely shepherds. Then, too, you did some hunting on them sometimes to help put some food on the table."

"You never hunted just for the fun of it?"

"Oh, sure, they did all the time. If we didn't need the meat, we'd give it to a society that fed the hungry. That was what you called proof that you were actually quality people, not just the ordinary sort of fur."

"Sounds considerate... but what did you do all day? They surely didn't take you hunting."

"I managed to sneak along once." Xenith grinned a little to herself. "Father was angry when he found me. It scared me at the time, but he couldn't do much besides make me stay back out of the actual hunting areas when they went in. He punished my brother by making him look after me, since he was the one that helped me come along."

Lilith laughed softly. "I'm sure that ate at him. So what normally occupied your time?"

Xenith shrugged. "Anything. Everything. The houses, the grounds, running around and seeing what was happening. Playing with my older brothers and sisters, or with cousins."

"Sounds like you didn't have too many worries."

Xenith looked thoughtful. "I suppose... I was too young to have to worry about social responsibilities, that's where the work was. If you were younger than about 13 years, they didn't expect you to do much except keep out of the way of the adults, usually."

"So who did you hate?"

"No one!" The words burst out before Xenith could think about it. Then, "well, I guess no one. I didn't really fully hate anyone, although I'd get angry with some of the tricks my older siblings would pull, or something. Nothing ever really lasted, though. Until they decided I was crazy, that is. I started to learn what hate was all about, then."

"When did you first realize something was different?"

"I don't know the exact day. I got up that morning, though, and when I saw my mother I was awestruck by how pretty she looked. Sort of bright and sparkly. I told her, and she laughed and hugged me. But then, I started noticing that a lot of things looked sparkly. I told furs that and, well... first they thought my eyes were going bad. They took me to a healer, and he didn't find anything wrong with my eyesight."

"Why didn't he tell them what it actually was?"

"He didn't know."

"Didn't know? How could he not know? Every healer would be trained to look for a new magician in those sorts of circumstances."

"Oh, but he wasn't a magician! Just an herb fur. Mother would never go to a magician. My family hated those with a passion, ever since they robbed us of our heritage back at the Union."

"An interesting view- particularly since noble families usually used magic themselves, or had magicians do it for them, to get and maintain their power. In fact, it was their interbreeding that made sure that magic didn't die out back then. And now they hate it. Interesting how times change."

Xenith looked a little drawn as she realized what Lilith was saying. "I... no one ever told me that."

"It's true. Being a magician is often related to whether or not your grandparents were. It skips a generation a lot of times, which means that it usually shows up in every other one."

"Oh. My mother's mother died in childbirth, but some furs whispered about how she seemed a bit odd sometimes. I wonder..."

"Very likely. Being a magician is often a result of the way you are born- it's your family heritage."

A couple of seconds passed before Xenith fully appreciated the irony of the statement, then her laughter rang out loud and clear. Lilith wished that it wasn't as bitter or scornful as it seemed, though. "My heritage! Oh, that's rich. If mother even suspected... oh my!" and the laughter continued.

Lilith smiled, too, as she said, "you know, I suspect you actually enjoyed life until that day."

Xenith's laughter cut off, replaced by a frown. Finally, she said rather sadly, "I guess I did. But it sure didn't help any when the whole thing was destroyed. What's the use of having fun if all that happens is that you get thrown out totally unprepared and ignorant of how to do anything?"

"Well, for one thing, it shows you that it is possible to have fun in the first place. Uh-uh-uh, don't shake that off. It's a very important point. If there is no such thing as fulfillment and happiness, you don't have much reason to try for them. But there's another point that I think is even more important."

Silence. Eventually, Xenith had to ask. "What point?"

"That you should never consider it worthless simply because it ended tragically. The loss is horrible, and I can understand why you'd feel betrayed. But to use that to say nothing worthwhile ever happened is to cheapen yourself, and not just it. People may be wrong, Xenith, and ideas may be tragically mistaken- but don't make the mistake of saying that because something bad happened that everything was wrong from the beginning. I think you have a childhood to treasure, and even though it's been torn away brutally, you shouldn't let that pain cloud the essential happiness that came before it. Mourn its loss, Xenith, but don't ever try to soften the blow by denying that there was once something there."

Lilith's voice had grown soft as she talked, and now she let it trail away. Xenith's head bowed over her saddle as she bit her lip. "I.. I guess... you're right. It did hurt, and it wouldn't have if there'd never been anything to lose." A pause, then "who told you all of that, anyway?"

"My grandmother." Lilith laughed gently. "I think I just gave you the same lecture I heard a hundred times as a child- every time I grew angry at my mother for abandoning me by dropping me off at her house when I was three and then never coming back."

Xenith gasped, and her eyes widened as she stared at Lilith. "Oh! Oh no..." she swallowed. "Why didn't you just tell me to shut up when I was trying to impress us both with how bad I'd been abandoned?"

"Because, Xenith, I know how it feels. I'm not going to laugh at something when I've felt that same hurt even more deeply myself." As Xenith's eyes watered, Lilith continued. "And you know what? I've been through that experience more than once, and not until the past few years have I begun to fully understand the value of my grandmother's words."

Xenith didn't say any more for some time. Lilith let her be as the gentle sounds of their saddles creaking and the soft plop of their horses' hooves in the sand continued. Xenith had forgotten all about the snake, she thought, as she mentally checked on it. Then she admitted to herself that right now, Xenith was worrying about some bigger snakes that were all her own.