Just for Laughs !
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When Men say : "It would take too long to explain"..........
They really mean : "I have no idea how it works"
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When Men say : "We share the housework".....................
They really mean : "I make the mess, she cleans it up".
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When Men say : "We are not lost"..................................
They really mean : No one will ever see us alive again, but better that
than stop and ask directions.
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It is now believed that alcohol contains female hormones,
thats why when Men drink too much .... they start talking nonsense and
can't drive.
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Menopause for a woman means complicated emotional, psychological
and biological changes...
-
Menopause for a man means growing a ponytail and buying a
road bike.
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Being a guy is great because it means it is ok to go to the
toilet on your own.
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It's ok for a guy to cry when his dog dies.....
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It's not ok to cry in 'Terms of Endearment'.
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The answer you'd love to give but never will :...............
"No that dress doesn't make you look fat. Its all the
icecream and chocolate you eat that makes you look fat.
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What A Career Change
====================
A gynaecologist had a burning desire to change careers and become a mechanic. So she found out from her local tech college what was involved, signed up for evening classes and attended diligently, learning all she could. When time for the practical exam approached, she prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill.
When the results came back, she was surprised to find that she had obtained a mark of 150%. Fearing an error, she called the instructor, saying "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wondered if there had been an error which needed adjusting."
The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark. I gave you an extra 50% because you did all of it THROUGH the muffler..." >
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Swim with the Alligators
===========================
Once there was a millionaire who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in the back of his mansion.
The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day he decided to throw a huge party, during which he announced: "My dear guests, I have a proposition to every man here. I will give $1 million or my daughter to the man that can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge unharmed!"
As soon as he finished his last word there was the sound of a large splash! There was one guy in the pool swimming with all his might, the crowd cheered him on as he kept stroking. Finally, he made it to the other side unharmed.
The millionaire was impressed. He said, "My boy, that was incredible! Fantastic! I didn't think it could be done! Well, I must keep my end of the bargain, which do you want my daughter or the $1 million?"
The guy replied, "Listen, I don't want your money, and I don't want your daughter! I just want the guy who pushed me in that water!" >
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