*Hmm, I've never tried this in real life before, but I'm
the best there is at it on-line.

*Just out of curiosity, umm, you weren't planning a career
as an athlete, were you?

*You do have health insurance, right?

*You remind me a lot of my ex. That frigging idiot who
bled me dry and left me.

*Ooops.

*Now children, see what happens to bad boys and girls who
don't listen to their parents?

*Come on in! It's open!

*Girlfriend, honey, whatcha doing? You are not going to
believe this! Guess who stopped over today? Yes!!
And he's still here, just hanging out...

*By any chance, does your mother drive a white Hyundai?

*Wow, your blood's a really pretty shade of red!

*I wish this came with an instruction manual.

*Gee, the last person I did this to is still in a coma.

*Do you know which end of this I'm supposed to insert
in you?

*If you were me, where would hide a body so no one would
find it?

*You don't mind if I let the pit bull in, do you?
She's barking up a storm out there.

*Say cheese!

*There is a REALLY big spider on the wall right next
to your arm.

*I'll be right back, I forgot I have an appointment
at the hairdresser's.

*Oh man, you don't remember what I did with the key, do you?

*Have you given any thought as to what you want in your
obituary?

*I never really liked you to begin with...

*(complete and total silence)

*umm, 911? Yeah, I think I made a slight error...

*POLICE!!! OPEN UP!!!!!

*Honey?!? You're home early!