Do Guys Like Flowers?
What Turns a Woman On?
Likes Friend Sense Sixth Grade
Australian Girl Next Door
Asking Friend Out
Friend not Interested
He's Flirting, but is He Gay
Met Him at a Wedding
Little Lovin' Before Summer
Lesbian and in Love with Bestfriend
Wants his ex back
Remembers only the bad times
Lover or
friend?
Droppin' hints but no response
I love him and want him back
Another 14 year old with a real
"problem"
I just started dating this guy, and it's
not serious yet, but it's going pretty well. He's in a semi-professional
a capella group, and they're singing next Saturday night (it's a 5 guy group),
and he said he wanted me to come and bring my friends. Is it weird/appropriate
to get him a flower (like in congratulations)? If I don't give it to him
in public, I'm guessing that would be better. But do most guys like getting
flowers? Or should I just not get him anything because that's too much too
soon? I'm not considering a whole bouquet, just like one or two flowers.
Thanks
I think that would be very sweet and very appropriate.
I think that he would appreciate it and if he is a semi mature adult, I'm
sure he would like it and like you for it. Go for it. Good luck.
Stan
I think that it is a good idea maybe to give him
a little flower in private. I don't think that guys sit around dreaming of
a girl to bring them flowers, but I'm sure they would appreciate the thought.
At least that's my opinion.
Amy
This question is probably mostly for Amy
but I've always wondered what turns a woman on? Also what most woman want
in bed, like what do most women like in bed? Whats the spot that really gets
them goin. I always make sure the woman comes firsat but is there a spot
where i can make her her come more than once and how can I hit that spot?
oh and stan if you know, I'd like a males point of view.
Oh, Amy doesn't know anything : ). I'll try first
and then you can see what she says. It's hard to say since most women have
their own sense of what turns them on. But, I think that the average woman
who hasn't had any psychological damage to them in their life are turned
on my a sense of romance. They like to be proved to that they are loved.
Romance, love, and sincerity can really turn a woman on. There is no button
to push and make them automatically horny....but, while we are on the subject
of the physical stuff...this is a matter of trial and error. You have to
talk to her and encourage her to tell you what feels good. Some women like
it one way and others like it another way....anyway, that's the best I can
do. We'll see what AMY says...
Stan
Well, turning a girl on starts way before bed and
that's where most make their mistake. You must romance a woman. Bring her
flowers, give her meaningful compliments, hold the door open for her, things
that many girls say don't matter to them, but deep down really do. Once you
have found the way to a woman's heart and you are consistent, then there
are endless possibilities to what you can do for her and get from her. It
just takes time and effort, there is no magic spot. I know you hate this
answer, and you think I am avoiding the question, but this advice will give
you more than any spot will.
Amy
Hello Stan and amy i have a question,
OK here it goes
I have known this guy friend since i was in the sixth grade and im a sophomore
now. lately we have been talking on the Internet,( i contacted him) and we
have both been wanting to go hang out. he noticed that i liked to dance and
asked if i would teach him, and always says he's happy that i want to try
being better friends (since we never really talked before as much as we are
now) he calls me sweet and always says "you know I love ya" and when i asked
him what we would do if we hung out he simply said "it doesn't matter you
seem like the kind of person who is fun to be with in any situation"
the thing im wondering is
he has always been really friendly, sweet and caring to people so in
a way i think he is just being nice, but in another way im wondering if he
wants to get more than being friends out of this. i mean he wants me to teach
him to dance!
but i don't know, cause i don't mind being either one so should i wait
and see what happens or what do you think is happening?
Well, he could just being friendly, but it's hard
to judge by what we know. I'd say that he most likely really cares about
you. Whether he wants to take it to another level is hard to say. I suggest
that you teach him how to dance, and at some point tell him your feelings
for him. If he has similar feelings, I'm sure he will tell you. Good luck,
keep us updated.
Stan
I don't know what to tell you, but I think you should
try to test the waters to see what might be able to happen between the two
of you. Sometimes friends can make good lovers, and other times they are
better just being friends. Personally though, I think the best way to live
life is to live it with no thoughts of what might have been. So if you think
there's a chance then by all means take it. You never know till you have
tried.
Amy
Hey,
i'm a 14 year old Australian and I've know this girl for 6 months now.
She lives next door and I'm over there like everyday. We are really good
friends and she likes it that way. We always joke around about kissing and
us going out and I'm not sure if that's a signal or just a joke?? i'm very
confused. I really love her, more than a friend and i don't know what I should
do?????
help,
Confused
Well, you are young and maybe you should wait a
while and see how things develop. But other than your youth, I don't see
why you shouldn't go ahead and go for this relationship. It might be the
kind of thing you regret not doin. She sounds like she may be interested...so
who knows?
Stan
I say tell her. She obviously likes you in someway.
You will regret not knowing if you don't talk to her about it. When you talk
to her though make sure that she knows that you still want to be friends
even if there isn't going to be a dating relationship. You wouldn't want
to lose that if the other doesn't work out. Good luck.
Amy
hi i'm wondering if i should do this.
But i want to ask out this girl. i have only had two or three girlfriends
but they were never my friends. she is my friend and she is really beautiful
and really funny. please can you help me because i have been rejected before
and it has left me paraniod.
thank you for your help,
Well, you can't be afraid of rejection. Almost
every man who's ever asked anyone out has got rejected a time or two. You
should learn that it's not personal, some couples are just not matches. As
for your friend, you need to decide for yourself. If you truly like her a
lot, then I think it is worth the risk. If she is not interested, I'm sure
she will remain a good friend to you.
Stan
I think that this is just a chance that you have
to take. Rejection is a horrible part of life but it has to be chanced sometimes.
If you are afraid of rejection and you never ask out another girl, where
will you be? You will be alone. Now which is worse, being alone because you
are afraid of rejection, or being rejected once or twice and ending up with
the girl of your dreams? So what I am saying is that you have to fall a few
times before you can walk. Its the same in relationships. Give it a shot,
what have you got to lose?
Amy
I"m 16, and I consider myself a funny
good looking person. I recently asked a girl "friend" if she wanted to go
out, we had been out many times as friends, and got along fantastic too,
more so than any other girl I've met, but I asked if she wanted to actually
go out. She said that she had set her sights on another guy,that came of
as a no to me, basically because if a girl asked me out and I wasn't interested,
that's the excuse I would use. I probably going after a lost cause, but is
there anything that you can think of that would make her think twice?
All I can say is that you shouldn't keep your hopes
up. I would also take that as a brush off. It could be that you have been
friends for so long that she just doesn't see you that way. If that is the
case, then you should move on and don't worry about it. You've let her know
how you feel and if she is ever interested she'll let you know. Just be nice
to her and friendly and you never know, but you need to look forward to other
girls as well.
Stan
I'd say that you have taken your shot, and that's
all you can do. She knows that you are interested, and for some reason or
another she is not interested. I think you should move on and not hold on
to a relationship that hasn't even started. Maybe, you can find someone else
who is interested. Hope this helps some.
Amy
Hi,
My name is Shawn and I'm 27 yrs old. I am gay, but I don't actively live
that lifestyle. My dilemma is this. I've met a guy that from all aspects
I'm sure is straight. Yet, he is sending mixed signals. Or at least I'm
perceiving them that way. I'm so in love with this guy that I think about
him everyday, practically all day. I can't wait for the work day to end so
I can go see him. I'm absolutely miserable when I'm not with him. I can't
describe how wonderful I feel when I'm together with him.
The confusion I have about the mixed signals is this. He's put
his arm around me before, playfully wrestled and ended up holding hands as
we watched tv, and one night as I was leaving his house he said, "I love
you, man". This past week we were on vacation together and one night in bed
he grabbed me (without getting too detailed), but then removed his hand.
Whether it was just an innocent act in his sleep or not, I don't know. I
just don't know how to interpret all the signals he's sending. If I knew,
then I could tell him how I feel, but I don't want to risk losing him if
I've been sensing things the wrong way.
If you can shed some light on my problem, I would appreciate it.
Confused in Georgia
In my opinion, you are not unfounded in your perception
of his signals. He certainly seems to have something going on in his head.
Does he know that you're gay? If not, then he could be in the same boat you
are, unsure if you are interested in not and unsure if he should give signals
or not. If I were you I would take the risk and ask him about it, be prepared
for the consequences, but you could regret it if you don't.
Stan
I am guessing, that this man is not straight. I
do not know any straight man that would hold hands with another man, or grab
another man while in bed with him. I would say that he is sending you signals.
The problem is though, and I am sure you know this, that if he is straight,
he might be alienated by you coming on to him. Does he know that you are
gay? If he knows that then you could leave it up to him to start the
relationship. I think that you should tell him that you are gay, if he already
knows that, then I would assume that these are signals, and you could go
ahead with the relationship. This is a tough situation. Good luck.
Amy
A few weeks ago, I was with my boyfriend
at a wedding and I met the man of my dreams. I have dated many people, but
I have never felt chemistry (both physical and emotional) like this. We clicked
perfectly and have a lot in common. We talked almost the whole evening, and
I mentioned that we should exchange addresses (he has no email access during
the summer, only snail mail). We did. He knew about my boyfriend, but I think
he definitely noticed how well we clicked. My boyfriend and I haven't been
doing well lately, and this catalyzed my decision to break up with him -
we broke up a few days ago. My question for you is, how do I handle the situation
with the other guy? I can't get over how amazingly we clicked, but he lives
across the country from me. Should I take the chance and tell him how I feel,
and if so, how do I tell him I've broken up with my boyfriend without scaring
him and having him think I did it "just for him"? Or should I forget about
this whole thing since he's just so far away?
It was probably a good idea to break up with your
boyfriend as you were obviously not committed to him, however, I don't know
if this will work with this other guy. Long distance relationships are hard
enough when you've had time to discover each other and time to actually fall
in love. With the way you are right now, you can't even get to know him.
My suggestion? Be his pen pal and keep in touch with him, with no formal
commitment. If you tell him about your week, then you tell him that you broke
up with your boyfriend. If fate has it, one day, who knows? But for now,
just live your life and tell him about it. I think it is for the best. I'm
also sorry if Amy and I disagree, this is something we tend to do on this
subject.
Stan
Since you know that your boyfriend is not Mr. right
then I think you should go for it. You did the proper thing and ended your
first relationship before starting again. I think that you should go for
it. Long distance relationships are hard to do, but not impossible. Telling
this guy that you broke up with your boyfriend does not necessarily have
to scare the guy away. If you have to write him snail mail then just include
it in what has happened to you since you last saw each other. I wouldn't
come out right away and tell him your interest, but hint around at it to
see what his feelings are. Just test the waters. you have nothing to
lose.
Amy
I have this situation that is confusing the
hell out of me. I am a freshman in college and the girl I'm sorta involved
with is as well. It's the last week of school. She's staying here over the
summer and I'm going home so she gave me the number to where she'll be staying
this summer. "In case I want to stay over" were her exact words. Anyways,
right now it is finals week and we plan to study together during the day
and then afterwards we are going to a concert together. My question is do
you think I should try something that night or just let her seduce me, which
could possible lead to nothing. If I should try something what do you suggest.
I don't think you should try much of anything to
be honest, just let things happen. If you think she is interested then you
can go for it. But with you two going away for the summer, it is probably
not going to be a definite relationship, at least until the fall. Concentrate
on your finals and try to have fun at the concert. Don't do anything that
either of you will regret. I mean, you're not even her
girlfriend...
Stan
I think you should try to be this girls boyfriend
before you try having sex with her. Jumping into having sex with someone
just because they invite you to stay over sometime might be a mistake. If
you like her try a relationship first, if you don't want to try that then
don't lead her on.
Amy
Hi I am a 2o year old female. I have been friends
with this one girl for years, recently we became very close and we kissed
nothing happened after that but we always joke around about us being lesbians,
and fooling around etc. I think I am in love with her, should I just let
it go? Help!!!
Well, one problem with being a lesbian or being
bisexual is that you need to develop gaydar...as they refer to it. Do you
think that your friend would be interested in exploring more of a relationship?
Or even just experimenting a little bit. Maybe you should try it over a game
of truth or dare or something and see what it leads to. Do you think that
you are a lesbian? Have you had feelings like this before. If you have, then
you should go for it. If you have not, then maybe you should wait it out
before you risk your friendship. Good luck.
Stan
I don't think that being a lesbian is something
that you are not sure about. From what I hear it is a pretty clear feeling
whether you like women or not. If you do like women and you think she might
like women to, then I would say go for it. But I wouldn't jump right in until
you know for sure whether you are lesbians or not.
Amy
my ex-girlfriend and i have been broken
up for about two months. shes likes somebody else and so do i. until i found
out that she still likes me. only problem is she has had a crush on the other
guy for a long time, and i get mad whenever i see her flirting with him.
but she gets mad too whenever i talk with the girl i like. i just want her
to forget about the other guy. and im afraid that if i wait too long she'll
get over me. i need to get her back, but i dont know how. help.
Well, first of all you need to decide. Do you want
the new girl or your ex-girlfriend? If it is your ex-girlfriend that you
want, the next questions is...is she actually dating this guy? or are they
just flirters....if they are dating then you're back to square one cause
you have no business interfering in what they have. OK, say she's available
and you want to go after her. Then you just have to go up to her and, oh
my gosh, talk to her. Tell her that you miss her and that you'd like to get
back together. It's sounds crazy, and guys are more easily persuaded to tricking
women in some way, but talking actually works and if she really is interested,
you've got her. If not, it's back to girl #2. Good luck, let us know how
it goes.
Stan
I think this may be a case where you don't need
to get back together. Maybe the two of you need to try seeing other people.
If she has a crush on him and has had a crush on him it is not just going
to stop because you are back in her life. Maybe the two of you should make
a deal to be separate and to see other people, and then to meet up in two
months and see if the feelings are still there. If they are still there you
were meant to be, if they are gone then you were never soul mates anyway.
Just a suggestion.
Amy
I had a relationship with this girl
for 8 years.3 years ago I left her for 7 months after I was upset with her..She
was very hurt.Then I tried to see her but she always refused and reminded
me of her hurt.We became friends,and I know that she likes me very much.Now
I want her back,I am trying very hard.She sudenlly started hurting me a lot.She
remembers only the bad times.I can see that she is very upset when I keep
trying,although deep inside me I know that she does not want to loose me.I
realy love her and want her back desperately.But every time I try she hurts
me more and more.Then after one month trying,she asked me to be friends.
I feel that this not what she really wants.I agreed to be friends with her
so I would not loose her.Every time I call her she hurts me.My question:
1) How can I win her back?
2)What is the course of action should I take?
3)how can I make her trust me again?
I know you don't wanna hear this, but I guess this
is why you wrote someone. I think that you are going to be very upset until
you decide to stop pursuing this girl. It seems to me that there was a
significant and very damaging rift in your relationship with her and I doubt
that it can be fixed. For her to continuously hurt you, she still feels pain
for you breaking up with her. My suggestion for all three of your questions
is to make a clean break and move on with your life. If she really loves
you, then time will heal her wounds and she will come to you. If not, then
she will always hurt you and push you away. You are not giving her time to
heal. Good luck with whatever you decide to do, and let us know how it
goes.
Stan
Bad news, there is no secret trick that I can tell
you to win her back, there are no magic words or acts. There is also no magic
cure to lost trust. The only thing that you can do is tell her how you are
feeling and let her make the next move. You can do things to build the trust
back, but it might take a long time. I think you need to be yourself, be
nice to her, try to remind her of the good times and hope for the best. That
is the hard part about relationships, they are fragile things and when they
break it is like shattering a glass, there are so many things that have to
be pieced together, and then once you get it back together it is never as
strong as it was. I wish you luck.
Amy
ME AND THIS GUY HAVE BEEN FRIENDS FOR A COUPLE
MONTHS NOW .I WANT TO BE MORE THEN FRIENDS BUT I DONT WANT TO ASK HIM OUT
AND THROW AWAY OUR RELATIONSHIP AS FRIENDS.ME AND HIM FLURT a lot AND WE
HAVE EVEN KISSED A COUPLE TIMES;DO U THINK IT WOULD BE OK FOR ME TO ASK HIM
OR DO U THINK I SHOULD WAIT IT OUT.I TELL MYSELF ALL THE TIME THAT WE SHOULD
BE FRIENDS BUT I HAVE COME TO RELIES THAT I LOVE HIM.
THANX
A lot of girls make this mistake. Do not wait until
he asks you, what if he's shy and is afraid of asking you? If you wait and
never do anything you will regret it for the rest of your life. He flirts
with you, you've kissed each other, go for it girl. Love is worth the risk.
Trust me. Good luck and let us know what happens.
stan
If you have kissed, then I think that you can safely
share your feelings with him. Tell him that you would like more of a
relationship, but also tell him that if he doesn't want it to be more you
still want to be friends. If you keep your feelings hidden it might start
to cause tension. Good luck.
Amy
I am a 15 year old girl and I really like
this one guy in school and I have all year and one my friends is trying to
hook us up and he told her that he didn't know that I liked him! I have been
dropping hints and flirting with him all year! He told my friend that he's
never really tought I liked him like that andnow I don't know if I should
go up to him and just tell him (which I don't know how I would do that anyway)
or wait and see what he does and keep dropping hints? What should I do?
Confused
As a guy, this is an easy one. Please...please...no
matter what Amy says....trust me. Flirting is a great thing. Hints are wonderful
too. But sometimes, you just have to go up to them and ask them out....or
tell him that you like him at least. Guys just aren't as good as girls think
at catching hints. We never have been. You need to either get your friend
to tell him, or just nonchalantly tell him that you think he's cool, or you
can come out and ask him if he's seen a movie and would like to see it. Trust
me, it's not wrong for a girl to ask a guy out, and guys love it. Will her
turn you down? I doubt it. Good luck, and just go for it. If you don't, then
you'll regret it forever : ) good luck, and please let us know how it
goes.
Stan
Ahh, to be in high school again. One thing you'll
see after leaving high school is that you look back and think why didn't
I just ask him. What is so hard about going up to a guy and asking him out?
I feel your pain I was there many times in high school, going back and forth
between friends. Telling my friends I liked a guy and told them not to tell,
but the only reason I told them was so they would tell. We were all so sneaky
back then : ) My advice, after all this rambling, is tell him how you feel.
It takes a lot of courage to do it, but its not so bad once its done especially
if he says yes. I try to live my life with no regrets. You have to explore
your options, you never know what a chance might lead to. Chance leads to
other opportunities. I hope this helps. Good luck.
Amy
My boyfriend broke up with me a month ago.
We've been together for 1 1/2 yr - he's 27, I'm 28 yrs old. I was going through
a lot of personal junk at the time. He said he didn't want to be in our
relationship anymore because I was jealous. I am a strong and support person.
He tends to be weak and unable to accept/deal with anything emotional or
stressful. I also got the feeling that he was afraid of a deeper commitment.
I never asked for marriage or even hinted at it - I think it was on his mind
though. I am heart-broken. I really love him and want to get back together.
Originally he said, "let's take a break" and I told him no - let's just break
up altogether. I miss him a lot and wonder if things will work out, if we
will get back together and would I be able to forget/forgive the fact that
he wasn't there when I needed him most. Can you help?
You describe him as weak and unable to deal with
emotional situations, and you think he is afraid of commitment. You resent
him because he wasn't there for you, so what's to go back for? I think the
best thing for the both of you is to stick with the break, and see it through,
and don't get back together until your resentment towards him is gone. Good
luck.
Amy
In addition to what Amy said, you seem to have a
condescending attitude toward him. He wanted a break...you broke up with
him...and you blame him for not being there for you. Perhaps you should just
move on and find someone who you can love and respect. Good luck in whatever
you decide, and keep us up to date.
Stan |
