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Born with Freidrich's Ataxia, I can honestly say, is to live "Hell on Earth". I had symptoms of this disability as far back as I can remember, three or four years old, although to me it was normal. When you are born with a progressive disability you have no way of knowing that this is not normal.

As time went on, I began to experience a lot of difference in my abilities and those of my buddies. For instance, they learned to ride bicycle and skate, and things that required balance, so much easier than me. I also had very poor blood circulation. My buddies and I would play hockey on an outdoor rink, in the frosty air My feet and hands would get extremely cold in a short time, causing me to quit, while they played on.

Probably the worst thing, in my early years, was the fact that the least amount of exertion would cause excruciating chest pain. In pre-teen and teen years we expend a lot of energy. I finally learned to ride bicycle. One morning my friend and I decided to go trout fishing, it was a long bicycle ride, probably three or four miles. Within five minutes I was in pain in my chest. We changed bikes thinking that was the problem. No such luck, as I would find out thirty five years later. (rapid and irregular heartbeat) At the age of thirteen I was lucky enough to land a summer job. I was messenger boy for the C.N.T., which meant hand delivering each telegram received by the telegraph office. It meant a lot of bicycle riding. With the riding came the chest pain, but, I said to myself, if everybody else can do it, so can I.

Then came my high school years. This is the time when I first realized that things were not as they should be. It was then that my grades started to slip. In sports I would be the last one picked, if at all. I new something was not right, but I didn't know what. My parents, brothers and sisters and my friends all knew I was clumsy and sometimes told me. On weekends, especially on Sunday evening, the routine was to walk to the South side, which was our version of walking downtown. I could never keep up with my friends.

Another thing that remains in my memory, is walking after dark. It was impossible. The only way was if I could see a light ahead and focus on it to keep me upright. Walking the streets at night was dangerous for me, because I would focus on vehicle lights and walk towards it. When I walked the street at night, I would make sure they were on outside so that I would not walk out in the path of an oncoming vehicle. The pressures from all situations was mounting. School was no longer a priority, as a result, I quit.

I got a job in no time, as a grease monkey in a garage, owned by Owen Moores. I tried my best for a few months until another job came along. After much pain, another job came along, hopefully easier. I started a job at Arthur Manuel's, as a meat cutter and packer. The job was good except for carrying quarters of beef. When a shipment of twenty or thirty quarters of beef arrived, we were expected to meet the boat and transport the beef, by truck, to the cold storage. That's when the trouble would start. My co-workers could carry a quarter on their shoulders easily, but I would have to carry it in my arms. To put it on my shoulders I would stagger and most likely fall from lack of balance. One thing for sure, the pain in my chest would be unbearable. While I was working at Manuel's, I went to see a doctor. He gave me glasses, they figured the lack of balance was due to bad eyesight. My heartbeat was ok because I was sitting for maybe an hour. At them times, there were no stress tests. I got laid off at Manuel's.

After a little While I was hired at E . J. Lindfield's as a meat cutter and packer and Jack of all trades. The pain and lack of balance continued. Because of mounting pressure from my disability and family pressures I decided to quit and leave town.

My father & I did not get along very good from about the age of twelve. At the age of nineteen I decided it was time to move out of my parents house, and move on with my life. My friend worked in Goose Bay every summer, so I decided to accompany him. I worked for a short while at Happy Valley. That's when I finally decided I could take no more. I work at a supermarket, as a delivery boy. I remember the day I decided to see a doctor. I was given an order to deliver two hundred cases of beer to the base in Goose Bay. Beer was stored in the basement which was about ten or twelve steps down. I knew from the start I was in trouble. After a few times up the steps with three or four cases at a time, I had severe pain in my chest. I knew I had to do it to keep my job, so I would have little rests, then try again. Then it happened, "the straw that broke the camels back," on the way up the steps with four dozen beer in my arms, I lost my balance. I fell six or seven steps to the bottom, with the beer on top of me. I was hurting from the fall, I had severe pain in my chest, and I was embarrassed. As a result I lost my job. I went to the doctor the next day, that's the day my world came crashing down. He did a few tests, and then told me I had the crippling disability Multiple Sclerosis. I was devastated. It meant I would have to go back home again, and perhaps never work again. After I arrived home, I went to my doctor for a second opinion. After performing various test, it was confirmed that I had a progressive crippling disability. Needless to say, I was in a state of shock and disbelief. He asked me if I would go to st. John's for more test, I agreed and it wasn't long before I was there. While there, I had more tests done, which confirmed the earlier tests. Bye now I was getting used to the idea of being disabled. However, it didn't make it any easier. While in St. John's, I attended The Trades & Technology College, to upgrade my education.

The only positive thing that happened in my life, happened in St. John's. I meet the girl of my dreams, Florence, my wife to be. Despite my health, she wanted to help me through life. It gave a new meaning to the wedding vows, "through sickness and in health". We had ups and downs in our life but our marriage has survived for thirty-two years.

In April, 1966, I quit school in St. John'St. and left for Ramea. My wife--to-be had gotten me a job on the fish plant, full time. I took the train "Newfie Bullet" from St. John's to Port-Aux-Basques. It was a long couple days, but it gave me time to think about the uncertainty that lay ahead. I was about to enter a community that I had never been in before, where everyone were strangers. Would I be accepted, or would I be an outsider. Finally I left Port-aux-Basques for Ramea, on the "M.V.NONIA" for approximately eight hours.

My big moment had finally arrived. I had to try to make an acceptable impression, I was sea sick, the anxiety had triggered my chest pain and I was very unsteady, compounded by the long boat ride. To make matters worst, it seemed as if the whole population of Ramea was on the wharf.

There were no cars in Ramea at the time, so it meant we has to walk about a half mile or so, to my girlfriends house. I was getting severe pains in my chest and I couldn't continue. My girlfriend's friend Emily Macdonald lived nearby, so we stopped for a rest. I cannot explain the pain I felt, Only someone who has experienced it would understand. I finally made it home, and was welcomed with open arms.

First when I moved to Ramea, I was cutting fish at the fish plant, making good money, at the time(.98 per/hr). I was a lucky man. My in laws were wonderful, they treated me like one of their own. I will never forget it, and well be forever thankful.

After living with my in-laws for almost a year, we decided it was time to get out on our own. We had started our family by then, Richard, our first baby. With Florence's four sisters and four brothers, her parents, and now three of us, a combined family of thirteen in one house, was just too much.

Despite the fact that the house was overcrowded, we all got along fine. There was no friction of any kind between our two families. We lived together as a family as if it was meant to be.

The fact that my father-in-law had been sick most of his life, and trying to raise a big family, on welfare, was so similar to my situation, is probably the reason we lived together in harmony.

I worked on the fish plant in Ramea for almost a year. I decided to ask the owner, Mrs. Marie Penny, for some assistance in trying for a house or trailer. The response was positive. A short time later the manager, Mr. Hector Reid, called me into his office to inform me they found a trailer for sale in Port-Aux-Basque. They arranged financing for me at the bank, so my wife and went to Port-Aux-Basque to see if the trailer was suitable. It was, so arrangements were made to have it shipped to Ramea by freighter.

Next came another obstacle. Where to put it. I wanted it as close as possible to my work. All the land close to the plant was taken. I found a piece of land near the plant, it was not good land but it was near my work, which was ideal. I then proceeded to find the owner, if their was one.(most land in Ramea was Crown Land).

I found one elderly man who had used the land, years prior, as a hay field, Leo Kendall Sr., He said "my boy, if it's any good to you, you can have it". So I said to myself, another obstacle overcome. Not so. Enter Ben Durnford, who was married to a kendall, who also claimed the land was theirs. He said no, I couldn't put my trailer on the land. It was a big disappointment. My trailer was delivered to Ramea, and I had no place to put it. As luck would have it, word spread like wild fire on our small island. Hughie Tibbo, a deep sea dragger captain, heard about the situation. He had some extra land he was not using and if I wanted it I could have it. Another obstacle was overcome and so life goes on.

Then I got a promotion, to timekeeper. One morning I was walking to work after ice storm it was slippery and a hard crust had formed on the snow. Every step I took I would break through the crust, and because my boots were thin, the ice was cutting my legs. I was exhausted, and my chest was in severe pain. As luck would have it Cyril Keeping was coming behind me. He took my arm and led me down to the plant. It was not long after that I bought a house trailer and positioned her closer to my work. My health had deteriorated to a point where I had to quit. I could work at my pace only, and that was not what was acceptable. It was then, I experienced one of the low points in my life. I collected welfare for a couple years. It was survival, not living. There were only a few families on welfare. However, most of them could supplement their income, by catching and selling cod. That was not an option for me.

I took a correspondence course in electronics, so that I could fix televisions, to try to supplement my income, however, I couldn't afford to buy the necessary equipment I needed. I wanted to make a living like everyone else, and provide an acceptable standard of living for my kids. However, options were running out. My health had deteriorated to a point where I had to walk with crutches, and my hands were so bad, I could not write.

Then came a turning point in my life. I applied to West Viking College and was accepted. I had a third chance to finish high school. We stayed with my sister-in-law and her family in Corner Brook for a while. I got a ride to and from Stephenville every day. I still didn't know what I would do after I finished school. I had only one option, self-employed, but how. I had no money, I couldn't go to the bank for a loan, I had no collateral. I completed school with strait A marks, but still had to go back to Ramea, still with an uncertain future. With four dependents, crippled, and no money I had no future to look forward to.

One day I decided to go visit my family in Twillingate. While there, I went to visit two seniors, good friends who I use to do odd jobs for when I was younger, bringing water, chopping & sawing, wood & taking care of their flowers in the summer & shoveling snow in the winter. In the process of our conversation, they told me they had a thousand dollars in their will for me, and they wanted me to accept it then, because I needed it now. It was like winning the lottery. I had money, at the time, big money. Now was my change to do what I always wanted, self employed, an entrepreneur at last.
I never had enough money to build a store & stock it. So, Florence & myself decided to take one of our bedrooms on our trailer, and make a store out of it. We had a ranch style fence surrounding our trailer, so we took the boards, painted them, and used them for shelves. In spite of everything, my dream was now a reality, my own store, it was only ten feet square, but it was a start. I went in Corner Brook to the wholesaler and purchased five hundred dollars worth footwear. I then phoned Port Aux Basque to get some confectionery. As soon as our stock arrived in Ramea, I opened for business.
Business was very slow at first, I didn't advertise my store, the opening traveled by "word of mouth." It didn't take long for the word to spread over the island. I gained the support of a lot of people over the years. Without their support, it would not have been a success. Then came the growing pains, I didn't have enough room for my stock. My porch extended out six feet from my trailer, so I decided to extend it back to the end of my trailer. It would give me enough storage space for the foreseeable future. 
Then I started making a profit. I bought a car, equipted it with hand controls, now I could get around, it gave me a new lease on life. Just when I thought life was getting better for me, bam, a cop came to my door, he said, and I quote, "We may have to take away your drivers license, a member of this community reported to us that you are unfit to drive, you may have to go to St.John's for a driving test". To lose my license now, would be the same as you losing your legs. I found out later who it was, the man is dead now so I guess I will never know why. In the meantime, I had a lot of support. My wife and I drove to St John's later to take my driving test, I passed with flying colors.

My philosophy on life is, first of all, live and let live. In my opinion too many people are to quick to judge others . I am not a religious person, but their is one little saying that I believe in: "God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change---Courage to change the things I can and Wisdom to know the difference"

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