Ways to make use of your Junkmail!
10)Write RETURN TO
SENDER on every piece and mail it back for free.
9)Bonfire.
8)Recycle.
7)Cut apart
each and every letter, then make a threatening letter out of them and send it to the
company!
6)Make illegal
copies and send it to the mafia!
5)Glue them
together and then wax them shut to make a coaster.
4)Read it to
improve your vocabulary.
3)Sneak up to
your competitors dumbster at night, and fill it with all your company's junk mail!
2)Use it in a
movie as a prop.
1)Make it into
paper airplanes.Ways to answer the
Phone!!
10)"Hi."
9)"Hola!"
8)"Hey
wassup ?"
7)"You
have reached the residence of ___________, but no one is here right now... so please leave
a...."
6)"Thank
you, please pull around."
5)"Do-do-do-
I'm sorry, you call cannot be completed as dialed!"
4)"burp!"
3)"talk to
I!"
2)"911
Emergency!"
1)"Pizza
hut Japan, may I take your order?"
Web Page Topics!
10)Soy and
cheese sandwiches.
9)Portable
tupperware.
8)Cowtipping.
7)Discount
textiles.
6)Chocolate
covered ants.
5)Squeegees.
4)Sea monkeys.
3)Dehydrated
water bottles.
2)Rush
Limbaugh.
1)AOL.
Reasons to give for not having a Telephone
10)"I live
in a fourth world country!"
9)"The
ringing scares me!"
8)"I hate
telemarketers!"
7)"I'm
deaf!"
6)"I'm
blind!"
5)"The
dialtone scares me!"
4)"It's
against my religion!"
3)"I can
just get carryout!"
2)"People
never look me in the eye when I talk to them!"
1)"I have
an answering machine, so why do I need a phone?"
Things to talk about on a Date!
10)your
depressed childhood
9)your monkey's
depressed childhood
8)the time you
spent at the asylum
7)the life
cycle of the hemp farmed in your bedroom closet
6)how you lost
your right pinky finger in Desert Storm
5)how you got
rich selling lint removers retail
4)the emotional
difficulties on being one of the FBIs most wanted
3)the time you
tried to foon your spork and ended up in the ER with a fooned eye
2)a big smelly
pile of cowshit
1)a big pile of
monkeyshit, smelly only because it contains your great grandfather's fresh corpse.
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