Are we meant to be?

Baby,

All this time away from me
Has made me ask myself 'are we meant to be'?

We were so close to completing our lives
I looked forward to being your wife

But I guess that is not enough
Maybe our situation is too tough

But I can't be with you if you're not strong
To love me even when I'm wrong

My heart breaks when you're not around
Whatever we had seems more lost than found

When I needed you the most, I felt you broke
On bittersweet memories and tears I choke

If only you had waited on me
If only I had security

I never meant to treat you bad
Like you never meant to make me sad

I know I'm supposed to move forward with hope
But sometimes I feel as though I can't cope

Thinking you'd rather spend months without me
Than work out something wonderful that could be...

I'm not asking for a love of a friend
I'm asking for true love to the end

Maybe what I ask falls on deaf ears
Maybe I'm not saying what you want to hear

I pray every day that I can let go
Just so that I wont ever have to know

That love this strong can not last
And memories and time spent is just in the past

I'd rather know that I had left
Than hang on to a love that can't be kept

How I wish to be picked up and held
Told an 'I love you' that was heartfelt

Time is precious and time will heal
How I wish I did not feel

It's too hard, sweet love, to live
On "I don't knows' that you have to give

What I want is not confused emotion
Just a glimpse of complete devotion

Either I'm too devastated to see
What you are trying to say to me

Or I am too depressed to accept
That you may not come back, your love you kept

After all is said and done
How I wished you were the one

I know I wasn't asked to, but I was waiting
Even though time hasn't seem to change a thing

The longer we seem to share apart
A bigger ache dwells in my heart

Help me God to take this pain away
I never asked to feel this way

The person I love has chosen life without me
He alone has answered ' are we meant to be '

© Joyce Ng August 2005

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This poem was written for the one person I shared so much joy and pain with, Drew.