Quotes are great. They can make you laugh and they can make you think about stuff in that deep way. Here's a compilation of my favorite quotes. Please, if you have your own favorites that you'd like to see added send them to me.
"Since the Lord is directing all our steps, why try to understand everything that happens along the way?" ~Proverbs 20:24
"My health fails, my spirits droop, yet God remains! He is the strength of my heart, He is mine forever!" ~Psalms 73:26
"When the way is rough your patience has a chance to grow. So let it grow, and don't try to squirm out of your problems. For when your patience is finally in full bloom, then you will be ready for anything, strong in character, full and complete. ~James 1:3-4
He comforts us in all our troubles, so when others are troubled and need our sympathy we can pass on the same help and comfort God has given us." ~2 Corinthians 1:4
"And we know that all that happens to us is working for our good if we love God and are fitting into His plans." ~ Romans 8:28
Seinfeld Quotes
"Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there's no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door."
"People love to recommend their doctors to you. I don't know what they get out of it, but they really push them on you. "Is he good?" "He's the best. This guy's the best." There can't be this many "bests." Somebody's graduating at the bottom of these classes. Where are these doctors? Is someone somewhere saying to their friend, "You should see my doctor, he's the worst. He's the absolute worst there is. Whatever you've got, it'll be worse after you see him. The man's an absolute butcher."
"The main difference between the man's wallet and the woman's wallet is the photo section. Women carry with them a photograph of every person they've ever met every day in their whole life since the beginning of time. And every picture's out of date. "Here's my cousin, 3 years old, she's in the Marine's now. This is my dog, he died during the Carter administration." They get stopped by a cop, no liscence, no registration. "Here's my fifty-six people who know me." Cop goes, "All right ma'am, just wanted to make sure you had some friends. Move it along...Routine pal check."
"What is this goofy walk that all models do? You know that walk? Down the runway, like they really have to go somewhere. You know how they're all wiggly, all full of importance and attitude. And then they get to the end and they look around and go, "Well, I guess I'll just go back."
Funny (Mis)Quotes
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
~Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.
~Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward
"You guys pair-up in groups of three, then line up in a circle"
~Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach
"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."
~Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh
1996 Lou Duva, Veteran boxing trainer, on the spartan training
regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."
1986 Jim Finks, New Orleans Saints G.M., when asked after a loss what he thought of the refs: "I'm not allowed to comment on lousy officiating."
1991 Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He replied, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care."
1991 Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."
And whenver a friend refers to a doctor they say, "Make sure that you tell him that you know me." Why? What's the difference? He's a doctor. "Oh, you know Bob? OH, okay, I'll give you the real medicine. Everybody else I'm giving Tic Tacs."
Answer: I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever.
~Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss Universe contest